Advertising
Advertising

11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of

11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of

Are you in an unhealthy relationship?  Is it real love or just infatuation?  What, you’re not sure?  

Here are the 11 telltale warning signs that you’re in an unhealthy relationship:

1. Your personal growth can not flourish in the relationship

Whereas healthy relationships offer safe havens for personal growth, people who feel that their own growth and happiness needs to be sacrificed for the survival of the relationship often find themselves going the wrong way in the tunnel of love.

Advertising

2. You feel as if the life is being sucked out of you

Did you ever hear of emotional vampires? These unseemly characters thrive while sucking the energy and life out of others. If you feel like you are in a relationship that is draining your energy and leaves you feeling exhausted and spent, there is rarely a happy ending.

3. They don’t “get it that it’s not all your fault!

If you are involved with someone who tends to blame you for their anger and problems, and you spend too much energy either defending yourself or trying to be understood, stop expecting the light bulb to turn on. Rather, it only will serve to dim yours. After all, no one can make sense out of nonsense.

4. The conflict and arguments just keep popping up

Relationships that are defined by conflict, fighting, blaming and a lack of forgiveness spell disaster. Remember that it takes two people to argue, and another person’s unreasonable behavior is never any excuse for yours. Arguments are like the Finger Trap carnival toy: the more each side is pulled, as in an argument, the more both sides get stuck in the trap.

Advertising

5. One person has most of the power over the two of you

Does your loved one have too much power over you, aside from the power of love? A sure sign of unhealthiness is when someone has more power over you than you have over yourself. Remember—no one has power over you unless you give it to them!

6. The negatives aren’t turning positive

Unhealthy relationships are filled with negativity, and bring out the worst in people rather than the best. Put-downs, criticisms, and insults are all examples of emotional abuse and should never be tolerated. No one deserves to be treated like that, and never make excuses for anyone who treats you that way.

7.  Being in need is confused with being in love

Look out for possessiveness and jealousy, as those signs are more about someone being in need rather than in love. If someone’s love is contingent on “what you can do for me” realize that there might not be room enough in the relationship for the two of you. If there is no foundation of trust in your relationship, you can trust that it’s a warning sign of more trouble ahead!

Advertising

8. When the team is losing, they get lost

People who think they’re in love might really be more in infatuation. How do you know? One sure sign is when times get tough, the tough get going. It’s easy to be part of a winning team, but it’s time life does not go so smoothly that reveal the depth of a relationship. Infatuation is less about what a person can do for you and more about what you can do for the other person, especially through challenging times.

9. You feel worse about yourself, not better

Watch out for a relationship that do not make you a better “you.” If the relationship makes you feel worse about yourself and less comfortable in your own skin, it might be time to shed yourself of the relationship! Mature relationships are based on acceptance, not judgement of how someone thinks someone else should be.

10. The focus is on changing the other person

In unhealthy relationships, the focus is more about changing others rather than working on changing yourself. In a mutually respectful relationship, you won’t be trying to mold someone into your ideal person. When you do that, it becomes more about you than the other person, and becomes a recipe for chronic relationship unhappiness. In healthy relationships, people are respected for who they are, and are not anyone else’s “project.”

Advertising

11. You lose yourself trying to find someone else

Last but not least, make sure that you don’t lose yourself in trying to find somebody else. As much as you may think you need someone else, you need yourself much more. 

So if you find yourself in a relationship that stunts your growth and can only survive at expense of your own emotional survival, might be time to get out of the love boat before you find yourself sinking!

More by this author

Judy Belmont

Mental health author, motivational speaker and psychotherapist

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People 11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of Robin Williams’ Death Is A Wake-Up Call: 12 Natural Ways To Fight Depression Quick Test: What Is Your Forgiveness IQ? 7 Essential Ways That Inspirational Quotes Can Literally Change Your Day … and Your Life!

Trending in Communication

1 How to Not Take Things Personally for a Happier Life 2 How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life 3 7 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be a Happier Person 4 50 Red Flags You Should Watch for in Your Relationship 5 40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

Advertising

2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

Advertising

How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

Advertising

You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

Advertising

Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

More Articles About Relationships Building

Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

Read Next