Advertising

11 Things to Remember If You Love a Writer

Advertising
11 Things to Remember If You Love a Writer

Puzzling, isn’t it?

At times your loved one seems sullen, withdrawn, and devoid of communication. At other times, his obsessive drive is unstoppable, and you wouldn’t even think to try to tame his compulsion to write.

Refusing to communicate with you one minute and yet sharing thousands of words with readers can be frustrating.

Welcome to the personality of a writer.

Advertising

While seemingly paradoxical, there are ways to understand them.

Here are 11 tips to understanding (and loving) a writer.

1. They are driven to write daily.

Writing is not a conscious choice. It is a need, as strong a need as any passion. Others are compelled to exercise daily. Writers share the beauty of the written word with others.

2. They are observant.

They see the beauty in things others don’t find interesting at all. For example, they are always on the lookout for an interesting photo to accompany their writing, or a new life lesson to write about.

Advertising

3. They don’t listen to critics.

Instead, they listen to their inner sweetheart who encourages them to pursue their passion, to share the love of the written word with others. Their confidence that they have a voice that needs to be heard outweighs their inner critic, or any other critics. Criticizing them will only get you frustrated.The voice of their inner sweetheart is louder.

4. They are well-read.

By reading a variety of authors, they get a variety of ideas and writing styles. They might, inexplicably to you, be in the middle of many books or articles at once.

5. They embrace rejection as a learning experience.

Their craft requires them to face the possibility of rejection on a regular basis. The best writers learn to use rejection as an opportunity to grow and improve.

6. They challenge themselves.

According to Lifehack’s Kevin Kaiser, “Highly creative people wake up every morning fully aware of the need to grow and push themselves.” According to author and blogger Jeff Goins, writers don’t just talk about writing, they take action. If they need to get up two hours earlier than usual to write, they will do it.

Advertising

7. They are artists.

Writers express themselves creatively just like artists do. This means writers are artists. Be proud of your artist!

8. They are inspired.

Inspiration may not always strike them at a fortuitous time. If an idea comes into their head while doing something you consider more important, try to be understanding that they may stop your preferred activity to take notes before the idea passes, never to return to their heads again.

9. They are driven to the point of obsession.

Writing takes priority over what they consider the more mundane. Chores definitely fall into this category. Writing takes priority over laundry and dishes. The loved one of the writer should learn to embrace the domestic duties since the need to write will not change. They must write like they must breathe. The dishes can wait.

10. They can write at any hour.

They will write even if it is 2 o’clock in the morning. They are oblivious to the fact that the world is sleeping or that you may think they should be sleeping. They will find a way to get the writing done, so don’t be surprised if you wake in the wee hours of the morning to find your loved one missing. You know where they are—at the computer or writing desk. You know what they are doing; they are conveying their passion for the written word. Although they can write at any hour, they write best at certain times of the day. Do not make social plans for them during the time they will usually be writing. Try and understand this and respect their boundaries.

Advertising

11. They can write anywhere they have access to a computer.

Camping trips, beach trips…no place is off limits. This may include the car during a road trip you’d been looking forward to. Be understanding if your loved one wants you to drive, so their hands are free to operate their smartphone.

In conclusion, your loved one is not going to change. On the contrary, according to Lifehack’s Kaiser, creativity, and the adrenaline rush that comes from it, may actually be an addiction.

There is a song from the musical Les Miserables called “A Heart Full of Love.” Your loved one does have a heart full of love—for writing as well as for you. Certainly your loved one is worth that understanding. Writers have big hearts, big enough for both you and the written word.

 

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Doug Robichaud via unsplash.com

More by this author

Janice Wald

Teacher, Author, Blogger, Freelance Writer

Automation Tools help people save time 7 Automation Tools That Will Save You Time social media 6 Ways to Get More Social Media Attention This Cute Bike Can Play Music On Its Wheels Samsung Invents A Screen On The Back Of Trucks To Show The Road Ahead Everyone’s Always Looking At Their Smartphones

Trending in Communication

1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

Advertising
10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

Advertising

But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

Advertising

Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next