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11 Things to Remember If You Love a Writer

11 Things to Remember If You Love a Writer

Puzzling, isn’t it?

At times your loved one seems sullen, withdrawn, and devoid of communication. At other times, his obsessive drive is unstoppable, and you wouldn’t even think to try to tame his compulsion to write.

Refusing to communicate with you one minute and yet sharing thousands of words with readers can be frustrating.

Welcome to the personality of a writer.

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While seemingly paradoxical, there are ways to understand them.

Here are 11 tips to understanding (and loving) a writer.

1. They are driven to write daily.

Writing is not a conscious choice. It is a need, as strong a need as any passion. Others are compelled to exercise daily. Writers share the beauty of the written word with others.

2. They are observant.

They see the beauty in things others don’t find interesting at all. For example, they are always on the lookout for an interesting photo to accompany their writing, or a new life lesson to write about.

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3. They don’t listen to critics.

Instead, they listen to their inner sweetheart who encourages them to pursue their passion, to share the love of the written word with others. Their confidence that they have a voice that needs to be heard outweighs their inner critic, or any other critics. Criticizing them will only get you frustrated.The voice of their inner sweetheart is louder.

4. They are well-read.

By reading a variety of authors, they get a variety of ideas and writing styles. They might, inexplicably to you, be in the middle of many books or articles at once.

5. They embrace rejection as a learning experience.

Their craft requires them to face the possibility of rejection on a regular basis. The best writers learn to use rejection as an opportunity to grow and improve.

6. They challenge themselves.

According to Lifehack’s Kevin Kaiser, “Highly creative people wake up every morning fully aware of the need to grow and push themselves.” According to author and blogger Jeff Goins, writers don’t just talk about writing, they take action. If they need to get up two hours earlier than usual to write, they will do it.

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7. They are artists.

Writers express themselves creatively just like artists do. This means writers are artists. Be proud of your artist!

8. They are inspired.

Inspiration may not always strike them at a fortuitous time. If an idea comes into their head while doing something you consider more important, try to be understanding that they may stop your preferred activity to take notes before the idea passes, never to return to their heads again.

9. They are driven to the point of obsession.

Writing takes priority over what they consider the more mundane. Chores definitely fall into this category. Writing takes priority over laundry and dishes. The loved one of the writer should learn to embrace the domestic duties since the need to write will not change. They must write like they must breathe. The dishes can wait.

10. They can write at any hour.

They will write even if it is 2 o’clock in the morning. They are oblivious to the fact that the world is sleeping or that you may think they should be sleeping. They will find a way to get the writing done, so don’t be surprised if you wake in the wee hours of the morning to find your loved one missing. You know where they are—at the computer or writing desk. You know what they are doing; they are conveying their passion for the written word. Although they can write at any hour, they write best at certain times of the day. Do not make social plans for them during the time they will usually be writing. Try and understand this and respect their boundaries.

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11. They can write anywhere they have access to a computer.

Camping trips, beach trips…no place is off limits. This may include the car during a road trip you’d been looking forward to. Be understanding if your loved one wants you to drive, so their hands are free to operate their smartphone.

In conclusion, your loved one is not going to change. On the contrary, according to Lifehack’s Kaiser, creativity, and the adrenaline rush that comes from it, may actually be an addiction.

There is a song from the musical Les Miserables called “A Heart Full of Love.” Your loved one does have a heart full of love—for writing as well as for you. Certainly your loved one is worth that understanding. Writers have big hearts, big enough for both you and the written word.

 

Featured photo credit: Doug Robichaud via unsplash.com

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Janice Wald

Teacher, Author, Blogger, Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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