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10 Worries That May Influence Your Positive Thinking

10 Worries That May Influence Your Positive Thinking

Nowadays, many people’s lives are full of worries that have a negative influence both on their lives, and on their positive thinking.

Some can forget about the importance of positive thinking in their life, and these are the people who always try to solve some problems, whether at work or at home, and these worries poison their mind again and again.

These are simple things that people may not even notice. If the situation is familiar to you, then this list of 10 everyday worries that influence positive thinking is right for you. Let’s see what useless anxieties can affect your optimism, and let’s find a solution to all of them.

10 worries that influence your positive thinking

1. You don’t have time: to complete the project, to do the shopping, or even to call your relatives… in general, the list is endless! Life’s constant rush interferes with accomplishing tasks both in your private life and at work, which may keep you worrying all the time, thus preventing positive thinking.

Solution: Always try to find some time for yourself, your family, your hobbies, etc. This will help you to relax and free your mind from negative thoughts.

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2. Competition: Yes, today it’s extremely high—everyone wants to be the best, and in this fight people can to forget about their personality, dignity, and positivity. Things such as as lying, betrayal, and other similar traits become more and more popular.

Solution: Stop for a moment and think about your place in life. Where are you? What are you? What is your purpose? Do such “jungles” make you feel good? Stop this pursuit and think of what is the most important in your life.

3. You can’t do several things at once: It has become important to demand from an average person to be like Julius Caesar, who managed to do at least three things at once. In general, the human mind can only focus on one thing at a time, and doing several actions at once reduces your creativity and quality of your work with all its consequences. All this causes great stress.

Solution: Set priorities, with everything in specific order. This is the best way to manage to do everything.

4. Wealth and money. Even if you have this you can’t stop worrying about it. In the pursuit of wealth, a person can forget about everything else, fall into depression, and live in a state of anxiety all the time.

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Solution: Remember one important thing: money is only a tool, not a goal. Try to spend less time thinking about money, and focus on other joys in life.

5. Aging: Youth—either natural, or achieved with the help of tremendous efforts and money—has been deemed vitally important nowadays. It is believed that a young-looking person is necessarily successful and happy, which is why many people begin to worry at the first sign of wrinkles, even at the age of 25.

Solution: Maintaining a positive attitude is a great way to look good. If you’re a positive person, nearly everyone will like you.

6. Information: In the mind of a modern person there’s a stereotype that having information equals being successful. That’s why many worry about news that they didn’t have time to hear, read or understand.

Solution: Remember that you can’t know everything in the world. Learn only the information that you really need, and avoid bad news, especially that which is depressing.

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7. Norms of life: Lots of people are worried about the fact that their life is somehow wrong. When worrying about similarity with others, some important things can be lost, such as individuality and authenticity.

Solution: Forget about what others might think or say. In worrying about the thoughts of your coworkers, neighbors, or relatives, you risk losing yourself.

8. Love: It is human nature to worry constantly about love; cases when you don’t have it and you’re lonely, when you have it and you’re worrying to lose it, or when you lost it and now you’re in despair.

Solution: Certainly, love is a magical feeling, but it doesn’t depend on your desires. It’s better to live your life today without worrying about it; you’ll see then that everything will be alright.

9. Accidents: A ton of negative information is received daily on TV about attacks, automobile and airplane crashes, natural disasters, etc. That’s why many people worry constantly about the things that may happen.

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Solution: Try to be an optimist and believe in good. Fear doesn’t to anyone any good, so stay present and mindful.

10. Weather: It’s funny, but not only forecasters, pilots and geologists are worried about the weather conditions. If you count the number of times per day the average person hears, reads or watches the weather forecast, it is clear that the weather is a serious and constant anxiety for many people.

Solution: There’s no such thing as “bad weather”. Try to enjoy all types, and don’t worry about rain, snow and wind.

Conclusion

All these worries may be present in your everyday life and you don’t even notice how they can poison your mind and interfere with positive thinking. In our modern world, people tend to forget about the necessity of positive thinking and positive actions; about the necessity of being at least a little bit more optimistic.

Of course, it’s hard to avoid all these worries—just try to think of them less, and therefore make their influence weaker. Remember that positive thinking is the key to happiness and success in life. Be open to it and don’t let unnecessary worries interfere with your well-being.

More by this author

Roman Soluk

Roman writes about positive thinking and happiness at Lifehack.

How to Be Happy in Life? 25 Ways to Make Your Life Happier 10 Worries That May Influence Your Positive Thinking

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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