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10 Ways To Commit Relationship SUICIDE

10 Ways To Commit Relationship SUICIDE
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    There is only a 5% chance that if you are reading this that you are a coward. That’s because Lifehack.org readers are statistically proven to be some of the bravest internet users in the land. They’d have to be to put up with my writing!

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    All jokes aside, it’s not always easy to get the courage to tell the person we are dating, or married to, that we’re packing up our stuff and heading out the door. The coward’s approach? Induce the other person into a psychotic episode in which they leave you, so that you don’t have to be the one to pull the (metaphorical) trigger.

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    So how do you create a disconnect that is so great in scope that the relationship crumbles to pieces? Well it’s your lucky day, because over my years of dating I’ve come up with quite a few strategies!

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    1. Ignore Them. This is by far the number one method because isolation is the worst torture that any human being can be put through. Seriously, it’s used by armies and terrorists to get information from those people that are the hardest to crack. Want someone out of your life, just ignore them.
    2. Describe The Future. All couples love to live into a future together. Tell her about how she’ll be scrubbing your floors while you’re out at the strip club. Tell him how he’ll be changing the diapers while you’re out on dates.
    3. Flirt With Every Waiter. Tactfully operate your flirting execution in such a way that you cannot be openly accused for this flirtation. If confronted about it simply accuse your partner of being jealous and overbearing. Continue to flirt.
    4. Cause Nightly Ruckus. No matter how patient or understanding your partner is, you’ll be able to wear their patience thin if they’re exhausted. Enable this by keeping them up at night with loud television and other noises.
    5. Describe Your Type. Describe the physical features and personality qualities of your ideal mate to your partner. Make it very clear, without actually saying it, that non of the characteristics you list are a part of your partners persona.
    6. Don’t Replace The Emptiness. The empty toilet paper roll, the empty shampoo bottle, the empty milk carton — all things that you should leave empty after you’ve used them.
    7. Forgetfulness. You can blame it on old age when you’ve forgotten their birthday, your anniversaries, or any other special occasions. In fact, don’t even show up for them.
    8. Be Discrete- Not. Make sure that when you’re telling your friends about how bad your think your relationship is that your partner can hear you. Not when they’re right in front of you, but just out of site of course.
    9. Go Abroad. Go overseas for a few months without writing or calling. Certainly don’t invite your partner when you vacation with friends. Send them pictures of you with people of the opposite sex.
    10. Talk. That’s right, instead of ignoring them, do lots of talking. In fact, you should talk a lot, and listen very little.

    Keep in mind that a reversal of this list could lead to a closer and more fulfilling relationship. If you’ve read about Dr. Stanley’s 13 success secrets of millionaires than you are well aware that having a supportive spouse is number two on that list. However, not everyone is worthy of being your life long partner, so make that distinction, and hit the road if necessary.

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    The Gentle Art of Saying No

    The Gentle Art of Saying No

    No!

    It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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    But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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    What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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    But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

    1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
    2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
    3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
    4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
    5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
    6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
    7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
    8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
    9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
    10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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