10 Ways To Commit Relationship SUICIDE

10 Ways To Commit Relationship SUICIDE

    There is only a 5% chance that if you are reading this that you are a coward. That’s because readers are statistically proven to be some of the bravest internet users in the land. They’d have to be to put up with my writing!


    All jokes aside, it’s not always easy to get the courage to tell the person we are dating, or married to, that we’re packing up our stuff and heading out the door. The coward’s approach? Induce the other person into a psychotic episode in which they leave you, so that you don’t have to be the one to pull the (metaphorical) trigger.


    So how do you create a disconnect that is so great in scope that the relationship crumbles to pieces? Well it’s your lucky day, because over my years of dating I’ve come up with quite a few strategies!


    1. Ignore Them. This is by far the number one method because isolation is the worst torture that any human being can be put through. Seriously, it’s used by armies and terrorists to get information from those people that are the hardest to crack. Want someone out of your life, just ignore them.
    2. Describe The Future. All couples love to live into a future together. Tell her about how she’ll be scrubbing your floors while you’re out at the strip club. Tell him how he’ll be changing the diapers while you’re out on dates.
    3. Flirt With Every Waiter. Tactfully operate your flirting execution in such a way that you cannot be openly accused for this flirtation. If confronted about it simply accuse your partner of being jealous and overbearing. Continue to flirt.
    4. Cause Nightly Ruckus. No matter how patient or understanding your partner is, you’ll be able to wear their patience thin if they’re exhausted. Enable this by keeping them up at night with loud television and other noises.
    5. Describe Your Type. Describe the physical features and personality qualities of your ideal mate to your partner. Make it very clear, without actually saying it, that non of the characteristics you list are a part of your partners persona.
    6. Don’t Replace The Emptiness. The empty toilet paper roll, the empty shampoo bottle, the empty milk carton — all things that you should leave empty after you’ve used them.
    7. Forgetfulness. You can blame it on old age when you’ve forgotten their birthday, your anniversaries, or any other special occasions. In fact, don’t even show up for them.
    8. Be Discrete- Not. Make sure that when you’re telling your friends about how bad your think your relationship is that your partner can hear you. Not when they’re right in front of you, but just out of site of course.
    9. Go Abroad. Go overseas for a few months without writing or calling. Certainly don’t invite your partner when you vacation with friends. Send them pictures of you with people of the opposite sex.
    10. Talk. That’s right, instead of ignoring them, do lots of talking. In fact, you should talk a lot, and listen very little.

    Keep in mind that a reversal of this list could lead to a closer and more fulfilling relationship. If you’ve read about Dr. Stanley’s 13 success secrets of millionaires than you are well aware that having a supportive spouse is number two on that list. However, not everyone is worthy of being your life long partner, so make that distinction, and hit the road if necessary.


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    Last Updated on September 17, 2018

    7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

    7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

    Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

    Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

    When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

    Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

    1. You’re depressed about your home life.

    No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

    However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

    If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.


    When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

    You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

    2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

    Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

    If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

    You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

    If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

    3. You can’t stop snooping.

    Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.


    I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

    Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

    So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

    It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

    If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

    4. You’re afraid of commitment.

    If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

    Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.


    No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

    If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

    Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

    5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

    If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

    Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

    Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

    Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.


    If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

    6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

    When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

    When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

    If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

    7. You chase past feelings.

    It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

    You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

    When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

    Final thoughts

    If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

    Featured photo credit: josh peterson via

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