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10 Ways To Clean Your Life Before The Refreshing Spring Season

10 Ways To Clean Your Life Before The Refreshing Spring Season

“Spring is God’s way of saying, ‘One more time!” – Robert Orben

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’” – Robin Williams

Spring is a time for pruning, cleaning and getting rid of the dreariness of winter. Time to clean your life before the refreshing spring season gets into full swing. Follow these 10 ways to really get the benefits of new hope, love and adventure.

1. Declutter your space.

Imagine spending a whole year of your life looking for things. According to Harper’s Index, this is the time that Americans waste because they have not learned the art of decluttering at regular intervals. It becomes even more difficult when your partner is a hoarder.

Here are my top five tips for managing clutter, so you are not overwhelmed when you have to face a major decluttering:

  1. Use the ‘One in, two out’ rule. For every new thing you acquire, make sure that you trash or donate two objects you are no longer using. No problem here as regards clothes, as Americans are using a mere 20% of what is in their closets.
  2. Show no mercy with anything that is damaged or broken. It will never come in handy and it never did!
  3. Donate all the presents you never really liked, or even used, to the charity shop.
  4. Keep everything that you love and that you use very often. Anything else will have to go.
  5. Tidy bills and mail into labeled box files and keep them in the room where you actually deal with them.

Once you have that under control, you will save time, energy, and feel much less burdened.

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“Clutter is stuck energy. The word clutter derives from the Middle English word ‘clotter,’ which means to coagulate – and that’s about as stuck as you can get.” – Karen Kingston

2. Get up early.

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” – Ben Franklin

Being an early riser is a great way to get your spring renewal process off the ground. There are several advantages to it:

  • You are much more energetic in the morning.
  • You will be in a better mood.
  • You are making more time for the best part of the day.
  • You will be able to think more clearly.
  • You can enjoy a more relaxed schedule.

3. Close toxic relationships.

If you feel that your partner is domineering and not allowing you space to grow as a person, this could be a sign that you are in a toxic relationship. It may be time to close, especially if you are miserable or uncomfortable. As the lack of support becomes more and more evident, it means that you are being deprived of energy, love and growth.

4. Find a passion.

Ask yourself this question: “How many of my friends tell me that I am great fun to be with and that they always feel better when they are with me?” Now if you answer that this never or rarely happens, it most likely means that you have not got a passion.

When you have a passion, the enthusiasm for it is infectious. You talk about it, and you tell your friends about your latest successes. This could be as banal as breaking your previous record in the marathon or getting your poem accepted for publication.

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Spring is the ideal time to start looking for a passion that will get you out of a rut, which represents dullness, boredom and a lack of inspiration.

5. Time to forgive yourself.

Why do you hate yourself so much? Why do you criticize yourself for all those screwups you made?  Anger, hurt and resentment are the results of this relentless self-criticism, which goes on night and day. The secret is to learn how to let the resentment go. It is when you no longer feel anger and pain that you have learned to forgive yourself. Lots of studies on forgiveness have revealed its healing effects and health benefits.

6. Get rid of grudges.

Think of the grudge you have against your boss, your partner or a friend who let you down. What are the feelings that are swilling round in your head? Here are a few:

  • Spite
  • Hurt
  • Anger
  • Malice
  • Envy
  • Frustration
  • Unworthiness
  • Loathing.

That list makes the acronym SHAMEFUL. Now that is a toxic cocktail! You may even be talking about it, too, and spreading the pollution via friends and close acquaintances.

Now here’s the thing. This negative cesspit is destroying you and not the person who hurt you. Even the malicious rumors you want to spread about that person are water off a duck’s back. In the meantime, you are the one who is drained, poisoned and exhausted. Time for closure. Let it go.

7. Time for new opportunities.

“Closed mouths don’t get fed.” – Kenneth Zakee

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Tried that new recipe yet? Have you thought about taking up a new sport? Is your holiday destination always the same country or continent? How about changing your home environment? Get out of the rut before it collapses on top of you.

A great idea is to brainstorm with a friend and also to let them know what you are going to try. This also means that you have to report back to them, so it makes you accountable.

What is the bottom line? You want to rediscover new growth, joy, curiosity, and a sense of wonder. That is what spring is all about, isn’t it?

8. Create your own challenge.

Setting up a challenge is a great way to get rid of toxic things in your life and to replace them with something that is going to do you a lot of good. You can set the number of days to 15, 30, or whatever you like. You will be healthier, wiser, better humoured, and much more relaxed. Here are some ideas:

  • Decide social media time; once a day for a set period of time.
  • Cut out swearing – use neutral words if you can.
  • Turn off your cellphone after dinner.
  • Start walking every day if you are a couch potato.
  • Limit your exposure to bad news – stick to one news bulletin a day.
  • Phone a good friend every day.
  • Do one act of kindness every day for someone less fortunate than yourself.

Set yourself some goals. Think: “By the beginning of summer I will have lost X lbs and will be much fitter.” “By the end of June, I will have my social media addiction totally under control.”

9. Manage your time better.

Spring is all about things growing quickly and energetically in a short space of time. Can you match that? If not, look for better ways to manage your time:

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  • Change your lunch break so that you can work better when there are fewer coworkers making noise.
  • Consider changing your timetable, if you can. Discover what works best for you. Maybe an earlier start?
  • Discover your peak time when you work best. Reserve that for the most challenging tasks.
  • Prepare your morning stuff the night before. It makes the early morning exit a breeze.
  • Make a list of doable, daily tasks and review them at the end of the day.

10. Motivate yourself daily.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last, well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

The secret of maintaining motivation is to be able to generate positive and upbeat thoughts about what you have achieved, every hour and every day. If you can do that, you will be able to shoot down the negative thoughts before they take over. Have a great spring!

“Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand-new day. And it’s yours.” – Zig Ziglar

Featured photo credit: Springtime flowers/Bea via Flickr

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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