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8 Undeniably Positive Things About Being Single on Valentine’s Day

8 Undeniably Positive Things About Being Single on Valentine’s Day

We live in a couple-oriented world; but finding yourself single on Valentine’s Day isn’t actually such a calamity as idle talkers clamor. For that matter, if they are that eager to teach you how to live, it’s probably because they are bored with their ‘full lives’.

So ignore anything the media or the public opinion may try to impose on you. If you are single, it’s because you like it this way. You can be awesome all by yourself, and there are many reasons to be happy on your own on Valentine’s Day.

1. Treat Yourself with What You Love

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    Valentine’s Day celebrates romantic love, but why cannot it be a day to love yourself? Just as lovebirds prepare surprises for each other, spice up your day by giving yourself treats, as if out of the blue. Drop into your favorite café and have an extra big cup of something heart-warming (and probably some delicious dessert!). Visit a restaurant and relish a gourmet dinner instead of cooking at home. Buy a book or a stylish accessory you’ve long wanted – in a nutshell, get or do something that pleases you and reflects your personality, unlike a pink stuffed bunny or an inane romantic comedy.

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    2. Your Schedule Is Yours, All Yours

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      Think about it like this: you live your life on your own terms, and there is no need to apologize for it to anyone. If there’s a party or a club meeting you’re interested in (not related to Valentine’s Day, obviously) – enjoy your time there without having to feel guilty for preferring it to a ‘romantic evening’ (which are so often tediously boring). Grab a notebook and a pen and visit a park or someplace else to sketch trees, birds, people or whatever comes to mind. Or if you feel like cleaning and de-cluttering your home – knock yourself out!

      3. Save Money

      During Valentine’s Day shopping spree people buy tons of knickknacks because they are expected to, and it can cost a pretty penny. You, avoiding all the Valentine’s Say expenses, can put this money to much better use – save for that Caribbean vacation you’ve been planning for, for example.

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        4. Go on a Trip to Wherever You Want

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          Darting off and travelling wherever you want, whenever you like, without fitting it into somebody else’s plans is another perk of living on your own. You’re not tied down to someone else’s schedule, preferences, or budget – you can set your own schedule and enjoy your freedom as an individual.

          5. Flirt with Whomever You Want

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            Whether you stay at home or take a trip, chances are you’ll come across many a person who is also single this day. So if you are feeling lonely, it may be a good time to look for someone who feels the same. And who knows – perhaps this time you will really meet the right someone.

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            6. Throw a Party and Celebrate with Your Single Friends

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              You can certainly find single people among your friends – so why not get together, have fun at the expense of all the cheesiness around and just have a jolly good time?

              7. Get Together with People Who Really Matter in Your Life

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                Since everyone around you is busy celebrating Valentine’s Day, why not get in touch with people who are truly dear to you? You’d probably want to call on your parents or grandparents, or get together with friends you were so close with back in college. Sharing fun and warmth with someone you care about is a gift you give them – and yourself, not yet another ‘sweet nothing’.

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                8. Know How to Be Happy On Your Own

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                  When all is said and done, being single means that you are not limited by anything or anyone in your life. You may go in any direction with no obligations pulling you down. You may stay single your entire life or find the right person – tomorrow or in ten years’ time. You are free, which is already enough to be happy. So don’t look the other way, don’t miss out on that happiness!

                  Featured photo credit: Woman hands in winter gloves Heart symbol shaped Lifestyle and Feelings concept with sunset light nature on background via shutterstock.com

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                  Melissa Burns

                  Entrepreneur

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                  Last Updated on February 21, 2019

                  The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

                  The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

                  In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

                  Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

                  Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

                  Conflicts are literally everywhere.

                  Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

                  Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

                  Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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                  Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

                  Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

                  Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

                  The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

                  Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

                  Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

                  How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

                  Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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                  Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

                  Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

                  How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

                  Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

                  Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

                  Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

                  How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

                  Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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                  Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

                  Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

                  How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

                  Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

                  Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

                  Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

                  How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

                  Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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                  Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

                  Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

                  How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

                  Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

                  Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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