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10 Things About Friendship Only Young Moms Would Understand

10 Things About Friendship Only Young Moms Would Understand

Being a part of a group or just having a few chosen people close to us at all times is how we humans are wired to function. We’re social creatures, and we need to be loved, respected and understood. When we are young it is our oldest and closest friends who become part of our little tribe, and nothing in the world is more important than the bond we share. However, with time we grown, mature and some of our priorities change.

I know of a fiery and fun-loving young woman who suddenly had to deal with the fact that she now had a little tribe of her own when we got married and had our beautiful little daughter. It was a tough time, and she needed a while to adjust, but she learned so much from the experience, and taught me a thing or two about friendship that I never knew. I’d like to share some of these little gems of wisdom that I am sure all the young moms out there will find all too familiar.

1. Overcoming new obstacles helps you see a whole other side of friend you never knew about

Two friends

    Measuring your friendship in years is not a very precise way of doing things, and it’s only when both you and your friends make major lifestyle changes and face new challenges that you come to understand this. Once you stop going out as much with your close friends, the little time you spend together will become precious, and you will focus only on what is truly important. Even though you may not tell them enough how much they mean to you, your friends will still keep surprising you with little things, like offering to babysit so that you and your partner can go out, and a lot of them may actually realize that they are very good with kids, even though they didn’t think they would be.

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    2. Making new friends can be terribly awkward, but kind of fun when you are a mom

    Let’s face it, when your kids are still very small you end up bringing them along with you wherever you go. You become a team, and it’s difficult to find other moms who are interesting and have plenty in common with you. Once you do find suitable candidates, all you do is talk about poop, breastfeeding and all the cute noises your babies make. Once your kids get older, you may find that even though the mom is great, your little one might not be getting along well with the other kid, at which point it’s back to the drawing board.

    3. You will pick up all kinds of new skills while trying to stay in touch with the people you love

    Who would have thought that merely trying to keep in touch with your friends would require MacGyver levels of craftiness and ingenuity? When you are juggling kids, a job, all kinds of obligations and trying to find the time to talk to your friends you tend to become pretty good at a number of things. For one you learn exactly how many minutes there are in a day, and how you can fit in all your chores and plans into the little time you have, in the most effective manner. My wife learned to type incredibly fast, started using several social media platforms, become quite good at Photoshop and mastered the art of scheduling – all within the first couple of years after she gave birth to our daughter.

    4. Sometimes you just need a good friend to be in the same room with you

    Young woman wiht laptop

      There’s nothing worse than sitting around the house and feeling lonely. In those quiet moments when our daughter was sleeping or just playing around, and I was at work, my wife often a bit bored and lonely. Now, we did have at least one or two conversations over the phone during the day, but she would often just call one of her friends on Skype and they would both just quietly do whatever chores they needed to do or even watch a TV show together, with very few words being spoken. Just knowing that her friend was there made all the difference in the world, and that just goes to show you what a strong connection we can develop with another human being.

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      5. Your old friends will know who you are and how you feel even when you make big changes

      You know all those little details that we share with others as we become closer? All those stories from our past, situations that influenced our development, movies and books that inspired and moved us, people that made us hate and cry and those that motivated us and made us happy – while the new friends who we spend a lot of time together might know them, and our bond with them is stronger for having shared them, our old friends were there for it all, and in a number of cases they were the ones who had an effect on who we became as a person. That’s why you get each other even after months or years of being apart, and it’s the reason why you miss them so much.

      6. You’ll find great friends and allies in unexpected places

      Although a new mom won’t be able to see her friends as often as she’d like to after having a child, this big and relatively sudden lifestyle change does open some new doors. Chances are that you will be spending a lot more time with close family and your in-laws, which means that you’ll have to find a way to get along with your partners family. There is often a bit of hostility, particularly between a young mom and her sister-in-law, who can be tough to persuade that you are good enough for her brother, but if you are able to handle the situation effectively you will gain a very good friend. There are many cases where sisters-in-law actually jump to each other’s aid, and if they both have kids they can become incredibly close. This new found friendship helps relieve some of that nostalgia a young mom feels.

      7. You need to be creative and flexible if you want a decent social life

      Young woman cooking

        Now, don’t think that you have to kiss your social life goodbye once you give birth, but you will have to be very creative if you want to spend some fun time with your friends. There are several things that usually work:

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        • Having family members babysit form time to time
        • Having people over at your place for dinner and drinks
        • Arranging play dates with other parents

        A common problem that a young mom faces is the fact that her finances take a big hit. The few hundred bucks that went towards funding fancy dinners and parties each month suddenly have to be diverted towards your child’s college fund or used to buy clothes and school equipment. However, with some creativity and careful planning, you’ll be able to host a dinner on a tight budget or find fun low-cost activities that you can do with your friends.

        8. True friends are ready to put up with a lot of little things because they love you

        Everyone is fully aware of the fact that looking at baby pictures and talking about baby stuff for a couple of hours isn’t anyone’s idea of fun Saturday afternoon, but new mothers simply can’t help themselves. However, you’d be amazed at how willing your good friends are to put up with all the boring baby talk, and even some of those nasty mood swings you experience during pregnancy. You’re single friends will also suddenly tone down their talk of parties, so as not to make you feel bad. You’ll still ask them to tell you all about their crazy single life exploits, but you’ll love them to death for being so considerate and supportive.

        9. It’s not about how often you see someone or how many times you blow them off

        It is quite natural for people to get a little bit mad when others don’t have enough time to hang out with them or when dates get moved time and time again, but it’s refreshing to see that this type of thing doesn’t really affect good friends. The people that are very close to you will understand that you barely have enough time to shower and get some sleep most days, and that all it takes is a weird sounding cough for you to bail out on a girl’s night out, and they are fine with it. When you finally do get a chance to sit down, all is forgotten and you can just carry on from where you left off.

        10. The occasional break from your friends keeps your friendship fresh and exiting

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        Purchase this image at http://www.stocksy.com/209804

          There will be times when you miss the old days so much that you will want nothing more than to shed a few tears, but becoming somewhat of a hermit gives you a whole new perspective on friendship. I remember how my wife used to spend a lot of time with a couple of her close friends just sitting around watching TV shows and drinking coffee, way before we were married.

          They were close, and they appreciated each other’s company, but at times they were glad when I’d show up with a friend of mine, as it gave them something new to talk about and something fun to do. Their conversations are ten times livelier now than they were back in those days, and they often plan out a whole day of fun activities when they meet up. This is because both experience a ton of new stuff while they are apart, and even though they phone and text, the really exiting conversations always take place when they are face to face.

          You can never know all there is to know on a particular topic, and friendship can be more complex than any most things in life. There are a whole lot of details that you never learn until you become a mom, and you still have a bunch of young single friends who aren’t yet ready to make the jump and start a family of their own. It is a somewhat difficult, yet uniquely rewarding experience, and you will definitely be wiser for it.

          Featured photo credit: Ojas’s Second Official Shoot/Harsha K R via flickr.com

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          Ivan Dimitrijevic

          Ivan is the CEO and founder of a digital marketing company. He has years of experiences in team management, entrepreneurship and productivity.

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          Last Updated on July 15, 2019

          41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

          41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

          Some things in life are hard to describe, yet we can recognize them when we see them.

          Love is one of those things.

          True love comes in many different forms, but here are some that many of us know well.

          True love means supporting those who can’t support themselves

          supportive couple

            A young man comforts his date in Times Square, New York City. Image by mbtrama

            strong hug

              A young man holds his significant other close to him. Image by Brad Fults

              running help

                A young track competitor helps one of her injured opponents over the finish line. Image from ViralNova.com

                feeding kitten

                  A soldier in the Korean War takes time to feed a baby kitten. Image from US Naval Insititute

                  It’s having the perfect selfie partner

                  mom and daughter selfie

                    A mother and her daughter take a selfie together. Image by Andrew Fysh

                    girlfriends

                      Two young girls pose for the camera. Image by Rolands Lakis

                      selfies

                        A happy couple takes a picture together. Image by Kayla Heineman

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                        selfie

                          Two best friends take a selfie together. Image by Jason Wahido

                          dude selfie

                            Friends take a selfie together. Image by Glenn Scofield Williams

                            It’s all the warm fuzzies

                            12748262703_84c008f4e5_z

                              A young man spends time with his dog on a beach. Image by Magdalena Roeseler

                              DSC06952

                                A pet owner hugs his dog while on a day trip in San Francisco. Image by Taro the Shiba Inu

                                It means having a friend to photobomb you

                                photobomb

                                  A boy makes a funny face as he poses for a picture with his brother. Image by Michael Bentley

                                  old man photobomb

                                    A man photobombs his wife while their grandson snaps a picture. Image by Frank

                                    family photobomb

                                      Family members photobomb their relatives’ Thanksgiving day family photo. Image by Beth Scupham

                                      boyfriend photobomb

                                        A friend photobombs the photographer and their friend, the woman in the foreground of this photo. Image by Lachlan Hardy

                                        True love means being there even when life gets unbearably hard

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                                        shoulder to cry on

                                          A family watches the Vermont National Guard depart for Afghanistan. Image by The U.S. Army

                                          flood dog

                                            During a monsoon in the Philippines, a boy carries his dog to safety. Image by Romeo Ranoco

                                            A woman is rescued from flood waters by a resident standing on top of her car during heavy rain in Chalandri suburb north of Athens

                                              A man helps a woman out of her vehicle during a flood in Chalandri, Greece. Image by John Kolesidis

                                              lunch

                                                A woman has lunch with her husband every day, even after he’s passed away. Image from ViralNova.com

                                                hug

                                                  A woman hugs the mother of 6-year-old Noah Ponzer, who was one of the victims of the Sandy Hook shootings. Image by Spencer Platt

                                                  rubble

                                                    An Oklahoma couple pauses while trying to salvage belongings from a family member’s home after a tornado. Image by Adrees Latif

                                                    sister and brother

                                                      A girl puts her arm around her little brother as they wait outside of Sandy Hook Elementary after gunshots are fired. Image by Reuters.

                                                      headstone

                                                        A woman sits at her husband’s grave the day before their wedding anniversary. Image from NBC news

                                                        It means taking the time for long goodbyes

                                                        110321-N-BT887-100

                                                          A man says goodbye to his son before deploying. Image by Official U.S. Navy Page

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                                                          national guard goodbye

                                                            A South Carolina man says goodbye to his son before deploying for Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                            saying goodbye

                                                              A Sergeant hugs both of his sons before being deployed to Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                              And cherishing reunions

                                                              husband home

                                                                A woman hugs her husband as she sees him for the first time since his deployment to Iraq. Image by The U.S. Army

                                                                boyfriend home

                                                                  A young  woman hugs her significant other as he returns home for Kuwait. Image by The National Guard

                                                                  mother hug

                                                                    A mother drops to her knees as she hugs her son on her return home from the Persian Gulf. Image by The National Guard

                                                                    True love is letting yourself feel young when they’re around

                                                                    elderly women

                                                                      Two friends on their smartphones. Image by Robert Neff

                                                                      feeling young

                                                                        A young couple getting their picture taken. Image by db Photograph

                                                                        sprinkler dad

                                                                          A father plays in a sprinkler with his daughter at Millennium Park in Chicago. Image by Ben Forsberg

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                                                                          subway couple

                                                                            A young couple on a subway enjoys sharing time together, while the girlfriend’s father sneaks a photo of them. Image by Gareth Williams

                                                                            wheelchairs

                                                                              A couple holds hands on a fall day. Image by David Amsler

                                                                              It’s letting yourself be silly… just because they’ll enjoy it

                                                                              silly faces

                                                                                A grandfather makes faces at the camera with his granddaughters. Image by Tim Pierce

                                                                                vote for pedro

                                                                                  A woman’s father wears a Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt to make his daughter laugh. Image by emdot

                                                                                  True love is allowing yourself to show how you really feel

                                                                                  date night

                                                                                    A young couple kisses in the back of a restaurant in Washington, D.C. Image by Derek Key

                                                                                    playing violin

                                                                                      Violinist Nancy Dinovo plays at a memorial service for the victims of 9/11. Image by Christopher Morris

                                                                                      True love is timeless

                                                                                      old friends

                                                                                        Friends spending some time together. Image by Cristian Bortes

                                                                                        sitting around a fire

                                                                                          A group of friends sits around a campfire eating. Image by New Old Stock

                                                                                          elderly couple

                                                                                            An elderly couple walks down a street together. Image by Matteo Paciotti

                                                                                            Featured photo credit: Matteo Paciotti via flickr.com

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