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10 Most Common Mistakes in a Conversation

10 Most Common Mistakes in a Conversation

“No man is an island.”

Indeed, people are relationship-driven creatures. We are present in this world in order to relate to others and establish a solid community. It goes without saying that we need to communicate with each other in order to fulfill this purpose, though.

It is our responsibility to engage our colleagues in a nourishing and productive conversation. Through good communication, romantic relationships, business partnerships and even product selling have all been implemented. Good communication skills are the foundation of a long-lasting relationship. How can you develop them? You can start by omitting these ten most common mistakes in a conversation from your communication bank:

1. Do you speak quickly?

You’re in a brand new situation with a person you’ve just met, so it’s understandable that you became nervous. Since you didn’t have enough time to compose yourself, you blabbered and spoke too much and too fast. Because of this, the person you’re talking to wasn’t able to understand any word you’ve said.

Solution: Nervousness brings about the common mistakes in a conversation, so to combat this, just breathe deeply and smile. Assume that the person you’re talking to is interested in what you have to say. Put some pauses in your statements.

2. Do you ask too many questions?

The conversation sounds like a police interrogation with you asking too many questions and your partner scrambles to answer all of them. As a result, connection is made and no relationship is built.

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Solution: Follow this structure:

a. Ask a general question.

b. Consider his answer.

c. Give feedback about his answer and then answer the question you’ve asked.

d. Wait for him to respond. If he replies with a question, good. If he replies with a statement, repeat what he said and wait for him to elaborate.

3. Are your statements scripted?

You’re going to make a sale, so you memorized your company’s sales script, even though your conversation partner isn’t really reacting based on what you’ve memorized. Confusion arises.

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Solution: Focus on building trust first. You can never seal a deal if your prospect doesn’t really trust you.

4. Do you hog the spotlight?

You walk way too much: about yourself, your job, your dreams and frustrations. Pretty soon, the person you’re talking too feels like he just attended a whole-day seminar about you.

Solution: Ask for your partner’s opinion.

– “My favorite topic is about personal finance. How about you?”

5. Is your objective missing?

You discuss bland topics and end the conversation with no real outcome. Were you supposed to build trust? Preempt a sale? Invite a prospect? No-one knows!

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Solution: Adult communication isn’t superficial—it exists to fulfill a purpose. What type of purpose? Define this first before entering a conversation.

6. Do you have to be right all the time?

Every conversation seems like a battlefield to you. You have to make everyone agree with what you have to say, so you never back down. You’re always right, right?

Solution: Accept the fact that everyone is entitled to his own opinions. You don’t need to force them into agreeing with you—they’ll just choose to walk away from you instead. Arrogance causes some of these common mistakes in a conversation to happen. Stay humble.

7. Do you talk about awkward topics with a person you barely know?

“Hey, I just met you, but listen to me talk about my past relationships, my nagging digestive problems and my balding hair.”

Solution: Stay away from topics involving religion, sex, politics and negativity, especially when you’ve just become acquainted with someone. Focus on safe topics such as hobbies, common interests and the topic of the conference you’re in

8. Are you really listening?

You’re really just waiting for the other person to stop talking so that you can get your turn. Ha, you’re going to wow them with your speaking skills—who cares what they say?

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Solution: Put your pride on hold and really hear what your talking partner is telling you. Learn to read between the lines. Observe his body language. Avoid asking “yes or no” questions and probe deeper instead. You’re there to listen, not to merely hear.

9. Are you rude to the person you’re talking to?

You think you’re better than your talking partner so you don’t think about respecting their opinions. Sure, you use polite language and you mind your manners, but your words offend and your attitude challenges them.

Solution: How you communicate is better than what you communicate. Before you aim to communicate, aim to respect first.

10. Is your body language driving them away?

You would like to start communicating with people but no one seems to want to talk to you. Why? Your arms are crossed, you’re slouching and your eyebrows are furrowed—that’s why.

Solution: Relax.Communication is all about openness and community. Look at people in the eye. Smile more. Stand up straight. You got this.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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