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10 Misconceptions You Have About Your Introverted Friends

10 Misconceptions You Have About Your Introverted Friends

Everyone has at least one friend whom they consider to be an introvert. They’re the ones who never want to “go out,” often keep to themselves, and are just as happy to spend a Friday night relaxing at home with a good book rather than honed in on the bar. Because they more often than not decline invitations to big parties, or don’t have dozens and dozens of friends, you might have made some assumptions about your friends that simply aren’t true.

1. Introverts are shy

Being introverted and being shy are not one and the same. Introverted people simply don’t “get their kicks” from interacting with everyone they meet. Introverts don’t want to just meet people; they want to meet the right people.

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2. Introverts aren’t outgoing

Introverts can be very outgoing, given the right circumstances. They might not be the life of the party, but they don’t want to be. Put an introvert in a group of new people who all have common interests, and you might not be able to get him to leave.

3. Introverts hate parties

Introverts don’t hate parties; they hate typical parties. They have no interest in going out to a packed bar that is so loud you can’t even talk to the people you came with. They would much rather get together with the same friends at one of their homes, listen to music at a normal level, watch some TV or play some games, and spend the night actually interacting with each other in a meaningful way.

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4. Introverts don’t like people

Let’s get this straight: introverts don’t like some people. But doesn’t everyone dislike some people? Introverts might be best friends with a person when they’re in one-on-one situations, but hate doing some activities with that same person and his “other” group of friends if it means doing something he or she doesn’t want to do.

5. Introverts hate meeting new people

This doesn’t mean that introverts would rather shut themselves in and never meet anyone new. They just have different criteria for keeping people around. Extroverts are generally happy meeting new people all the time, regardless of whether or not they’ll ever cross paths again. Introverts want to meet people with the understanding that a bond will be forged that will be important enough to keep up in the future.

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6. Introverts are boring

This can’t be further from the truth. Introverts are incredibly interesting, which is why they usually can’t be bothered with talking about the weather in an elevator. While others are happy to have the typical “So how about those Yankees” conversation with perfect strangers, introverts are usually lost in their thoughts about the universe, the state of humanity, or the book they’re currently reading.

7. Introverts aren’t friendly

Introverts might be brief during small-talk situations, but that’s because they usually have other things on their minds (see above). In fact, if an introverted person takes the time to have a give-and-take with you about the news, consider it a compliment. Introverts know that extroverts thrive on communicating with others, so for them to break their own mold for your sake shows how friendly they really are.

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8. Introverts hate talking

Introverts don’t hate talking; they just love listening. While extroverts need to have their voices heard, introverts need to hear what others have to say. Sometimes their quietness is mistaken for rudeness, which, like the above section, is a complete misunderstanding. Introverts often want to learn as much as possible about everything in the world, including other people. What better way is there to do so than remain quiet and listen to what others have to say?

9. Introverts are unhappy

Just because they don’t outwardly show it doesn’t mean introverts are generally unhappy. Introverts simply find happiness in other ways, and others just have to know how to see it. If an introvert is neck-deep in a conversation, or completely engaged in their current activity, you can assume they are as content as can be.

10. Introverts want and need to change

Perhaps the biggest misconception modern society has about introverts is that they all secretly wish they could have the big-shot, life-of-the-party personality that makes rock stars and athletes famous. Introverts are more interested in content than surface appeal, and their own personality is no different. They’re happy with who they are, and also happy with who you are. Introverts know never to judge a book by its cover, and they hope that others will do the same with them.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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