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Published on February 14, 2020

5 Ways to Help You Get Through Depression

5 Ways to Help You Get Through Depression

Don’t let the feelings you feel and thoughts you think overtake your well being. Easier said than done, right? In general, we have control over only so much. But the question is, how to not be depressed?

In life, you need to process things authentically but not get stuck in them. That means it’s okay to feel what you feel as long as you don’t stay there forever. That’s the goal of emotional regulation, but many people get stuck. They stay there in negative or difficult emotions. They can start to fall into a depression

Depression can feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You might even feel a heaviness in your chest. It can show up for people differently.

There’s high functioning depression where on the outside, you appear okay, but in reality, you are falling apart. And then there’s the debilitating depression where it’s hard to get out of bed. How not to be depressed may come up in your mind many times if you’ve been in this state.

The answer is that for everyone, it’s a little bit different. Overall, it’s sadness or even a numbness from emotional overload that simply won’t go away.

According to American Psychiatric Association,[1]

“Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or loss of interest in activities once enjoyed.”

For a formal diagnosis of depression, it must last at least two weeks.

But anyone can have depressed days. It can happen to people of all different lifestyles, backgrounds, attitudes and more. Attitude, in fact, has nothing to do with it. It’s not about the will power. It’s about resilience. You can’t just will yourself out of depression, but you can seek treatment and find ways to get through it.

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Here are five ways on how to not be depressed:

1. Understand It’s Not Your Fault

Being “normal” or “perfect” is a myth. We all experience difficult times and difficult emotions. But when experiencing depression, one can feel isolated in their thoughts and feelings which if unchecked or untreated can lead to suicidal ideations. That’s why depression is so important to act upon rather than let linger.

Negative feelings will always come up. No one can walk around full of sunshine and happiness 24/7. We all get worn down. We all experience losses. We all need rest.

But when negative feelings overtake you, when you can’t face the real world because of the sadness or difficult emotions you are feeling, that’s when it can turn into depression.

We are a society that wants instant gratification. With that “fix it now mentality” we find it even harder to overcome our depression and find instead that we are masking our own feelings. It doesn’t just go away. There’s no quick fix on how to not be depressed, as much as we want there to be one.

There are many causes of depression and many misconceptions about it as well. Namely, people think it’s an attitude thing or ungratefulness towards life. But there are many factors like genetics, chemical imbalance, stress, loss, trauma and more. “Snapping out if it” is not always possible. Read this article to read more about other factors that affects depression: Why Do I Feel Depressed Every Once in a While for No Reason?

2. Self Care Instead of Spiral

It’s time to invest in yourself. Maybe you’ve been pouring it all into others, into your duties, your activities, your efforts for success. Maybe you’ve just kept going, white-knuckling as you go rather than processing to feel or think or simply be. That’s why scheduling self care in your life is so important.

When you’re feeling depressed, you also are feeling disconnected. Most of all, you’re feeling disconnected from yourself. You suffer in silence so the world will not judge you for it. But when you start to love yourself, you start to grow.

Self care can be many things. It can be walking the dog, taking a shower, writing in a journal, expressing yourself in any way or helping someone else in need can even be a way back to loving yourself.

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Make a list of things you can do that are simple, that can help you how to not be depressed by connect with yourself when you feel detached, lonely, isolated and drained, the many symptoms of depression. This plan will help how to not be depressed and to adopt self care in the face of struggle rather than to spiral.

If you have to start somewhere, start in self love. That’s what self care is really all about. You are showing up to face the day because you love yourself. Because you matter. This doesn’t mean you have to face everything. You don’t have to figure it all out. You just have to meet yourself where you are and simply show up.

Put yourself first. Self advocate your needs whether it be with friends, family or a mental health/medical provider. This is where you need to stand tall the most because only you know what you’re going through. Only you know what it means to be you.

3. Know You’re Not Alone

What you’ll find when you practice self advocacy is that people actually want to help. Ask for help in these times. It doesn’t mean everyone is trained to handle your struggle, or that they can relate or that they are emotionally equipped to respond. But you can assess your needs and theirs and see if someone can simply be a support. You can also research support groups that may more appropriately fit your needs.

Reach out to a professional on how to not be depressed. You may be able to meet with someone who is trained in order to help you. They are meant to help you and are able to handle the emotional depth of what you are struggling with.

Someone who has high functioning depression may be harder to track for depression. But open conversations make it possible to figure out the signs that anyone could be experiencing. Speaking out about it may even deepen current relationships. It may lead to transparency and a renewal of a relationship.

If anything, talking to a trained professional or crisis line may help you navigate how to not be depressed the most. For example, The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.

When you feel it is on the verge of taking over, come up with a crisis plan and contacts in preventative measures. In advance, come up with a list of people you trust or someone who could even take you to the Emergency Room if you are starting to spiral to suicidal ideations.

Write down a list of signs and symptoms you have experienced when feeling depressed, to help communicate this to others. Rate your mood on a scale of one to ten on a daily basis to gauge what you are feeling generally. This will help you communicate to a doctor the level of severity you are experiencing depression and help you navigate whether it is a crisis.[2]

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4. Get Proactive Rather Than Reactive

Reactivity is when you act on impulses and over identify with your emotional state. Alternatively, you may be acting productive to cover the painful emotions and thoughts to detach, but that is not the same thing as being proactive. Being proactive means you process things better and decide to be positive despite the negative experience. That’s because of the mindset you choose.

Become solution oriented. Become gratitude driven. Become someone who focuses on the good.

Use what is happening for something greater than yourself, whether it be a project, a personal connection or a new path that you can find purpose in. You don’t have to necessarily “fix it” overnight. But you can use it.

Create something that brings light into your darkness. Tell someone you love them. Do a small act of kindness. Figure out what your needs are and seek to meet them. Learn to listen to the silence and meditate rather than avoid it. Be present, be mindful in actions taken. When you are doing simple acts such as cleaning, take deep breaths and meditate. In any activity, you can become mindful. You can become awake.

Become purposeful in what you think about. Think about what you look forward to tomorrow. And be kind to yourself while you’re at it. Trust your instincts. Know that you are good, you are worthy. Depression does not have to define you. Nothing that happens to you defines you. What defines you is your character, your attitude, your will, the way you treat others. When you understand that, you can move forward.

5. Honor Your Truth

There is something sacred about sharing and honoring your story. Bring light to the darkness by speaking up. Your voice matters. Being here matters. Putting it out there relieves you of shame and removes the influence of stigma from your self discovery journey. It is here that we can truly find ourselves at peace: Acceptance.

Cheryl Strayed says,[3]

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”

You are not stuck here. This isn’t the end, this just the beginning. While it’s good to accept your feelings as valid, it’s also important to recognize when they may be misleading you. You can use your situation to shed light on mental health issues and use it to connect yourself to others too who may need your insights.

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Kevin Hines struggles with bipolar disorder, and he found a way how to not be depressed and use his story of a suicide attempt to spread awareness of mental illness. He also advocates for changes in the mental health system and strategies we use.[4]

You can rise again too. Today isn’t your last day. Reach out. Ask for help. Do good so you can feel good. And let yourself be seen. You can still feel fulfilled and appreciate life when experiencing a difficult time. The step on how to not be depressed takes courage. That is what will pull you through. That is what resilience looks like.

Final Thoughts

How to not be depressed is not about repression or masking one’s feelings. It’s about processing your reality in such a way that you can cope with it. It starts with self love and acceptance.

The worst thing you can do when depressed is judge yourself for it. You are human. You are going to feel. When those feelings take over, you need help. It’s not your fault. If depression doesn’t pass, it’s time to reach out for help. The work on yourself how to not be depressed is lifelong and should be a profound and powerful process.

You are brave, you are a survivor, you are worth saving. Hold space for yourself and others with feelings that are difficult. As you would just listen and not judge someone else, do this for yourself. Then, you find that the days get lighter and the life you had returns to you.

Honor your feelings, but do not detach from life. It is worth it to stay. It is worth it to be here. It is worth it to know you in this life, so stay.

Featured photo credit: Cristian Newman via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Sarah Browne

Sarah is a speaker, writer and activist who promotes the end of stigma for mental health.

How to Practice Meditation for Anxiety and Stress Relief How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want 5 Ways to Help You Get Through Depression 8 Simple Ways to Be Mentally Healthy Why Am I So Sad? 9 Possible Causes You Shouldn’t Ignore

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Last Updated on February 17, 2020

5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Who You Are

5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Who You Are

When it comes to being yourself, there can be a lot of pressure from the outside world as it tries to influence who you are. Living in a society that is constantly developing, it’s important for you to always be yourself from the inside out.

When you deeply know yourself and the boundaries that you have set, you are more likely to experience a fulfilling and rewarding life. Without knowing yourself and establishing those boundaries, you can easily be pushed around and end up on a dirt path.

So how to be who you are and always be yourself?

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” – Matthew 7:13-14

You have the option of taking the path that is broad or taking the path that is narrow. You can either conform to what life wants you to be, or have the courage to remain true to yourself throughout the years. It’s definitely a challenge to have a strong sense of self when we are constantly getting distracted and being influenced by the media and society’s way of life. But if you want to reach your fullest potential in life, it all starts with being yourself.

Why should you always be yourself? Because you will:

1. Live in Alignment With Your Values and Beliefs

Being yourself is all about knowing what you believe in and the values that you live by. When you are not yourself, you will take on the values and beliefs of others. This is when you start conforming to other people’s expectations and way of thinking.

When you know your values and why you do what you do, you will live according to your own values and beliefs.

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2. Establish Your Own Identity

When you are able to have a solid foundation of being you, you are establishing your own sense of identity. No matter what happens in your life, you will always know who you are.

There will be times where you may feel lost or distracted, but if you have your own identity you’ll be able to get back on the right path. Without establishing your own identity, you may easily conform and lose yourself.

3. Build Courage

It takes a great amount of courage when you decide to take the path that goes against the crowd. The reason why the majority of people take the broad path is because it’s easy.

It’s easy to just follow the crowd. It’s more of a challenge when you stay true to yourself and establish your own identity. This challenge of always being yourself takes courage and inner strength. No matter what comes your way, you’ll know how to handle it.

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4. Establish Boundaries

When you are always yourself, you know what your limits are and the boundaries that you have set for yourself. When people cross your boundaries, you will know.

But if you don’t establish boundaries, people may very well walk all over you and take advantage of you. If you are always yourself and you establish boundaries, you are more likely to be aware when people start taking advantage of you.

Create and establish your boundaries.

5. Find Focus and Direction

When you are always yourself, you are more likely to have focus and direction in your life. Imagine someone who is constantly conforming to other people’s expectations, do you think this person has focus and direction? I don’t think so.

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When you stay true to who you are, you are more likely to know the goals you want to accomplish and how to go about accomplishing them. You are able to stay focused and know which direction to take in order for you to accomplish your goals.

No matter what you experience in life, the only person that will always remain constant is you.

More Tips about Staying True to Yourself

Featured photo credit: María Victoria Heredia Reyes via unsplash.com

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