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In the Hot Seat: The Comatose Brought To Life

In the Hot Seat: The Comatose Brought To Life

Hollywood has given us plenty of stories about people who wind up in a coma. In some cases, they never wake up. In others, they go through a series of odd dreams and revelations in their minds before they miraculously rejoin the waking world.

A few of these stories seem realistic, but often these episodes are highly dramatised tools for storytelling. Here at Lifehack, we wondered what it would actually be like to wake up from a coma. Do patients hear or experience anything in their unconscious state? Do they gain some greater knowledge about the universe while they are in a coma.

To help us answer this question, we’ve got Jeff in the hot seat. He spent some time in a comatose state and lived to tell the tale.

Life changes in the blink of an eye

Lifehack: How did you end up in a coma?

Jeff: I got into a serious car wreck. When we impacted the car in front of us, my head slammed into the dashboard.

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Lifehack: How long were you unconscious?

Jeff: I was out for 8 weeks before I remember anything. Even after I started to wake up, it was several weeks before I was able to sit up, stay awake for long periods of time, and walk. I spent months going through rehab after I woke up.

Lifehack: What have you learned from the experience?

Jeff: Your life can change in the blink of an eye. One minute, you’re heading out to see your friends and having the time of your life. The next thing you know, all those little things that you take for granted are taken from you. There’s no guarantee that you’ll get them back.

I’m one of the lucky ones. The doctors were pretty sure that I was going to be in a vegetative state. They had discussions with my family about “pulling the plug.”

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Lifehack: How did your family handle the situation?

Jeff: My family didn’t want to hear that I might not pull through. My mom, dad, and sisters took shifts sitting by my bedside in the hospital. At first, they weren’t really allowed to say or do much because in order for my brain to heal, I had to be in a low-stimulus environment.

My little sisters were there when I had my first flash of consciousness. They have helped me with my rehabilitation. There’s no way I could have recovered without them.

Lifehack: What did you experience while in a coma?

Jeff: I didn’t understand the passage of time at all while I was unconscious. I do remember being in a white room. It was totally empty except for the chair I was sitting in. I don’t remember what I did there, but it was like I expected something to happen.

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Lifehack: How did you feel after waking up?

Jeff: Terrified. When I woke up I had no idea what was happening to me, where I was, how long I had been out, or why my sisters were crying. The fear didn’t last long though because they kept me pretty doped up on medication for the first couple days of being awake.

After that, I remember feeling lots of confusion and frustration. I was not able to speak because there was a tube down my throat. I couldn’t move my limbs at first. When they finally sat me up for the first time, I was so nauseous that they had to lay me back down. I realized I was going to have to relearn how to do a lot of things.

Lifehack: Did you experience any memory loss or revelations?

Jeff: I don’t remember the three weeks before the accident at all. I didn’t even remember why I was in the car until someone else told me.

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I also did some things while I was waking up. At one point, I started asking for my wallet because I wanted to give my mom some money. I have no idea why I felt like I needed to pay her, and I don’t recall the incident. We can laugh about it now.

As for revelations, I didn’t figure out the meaning of life or anything. There was just a white room.

Lifehack: What are you thankful for from this experience?

Jeff: I’m so grateful that I was given a second chance at life. If I hadn’t had such excellent medical care and the love of my family, I wouldn’t be here today. Every day you can be awake and a part of the world is a beautiful day.

Seeing the world through new eyes

Jeff’s experience changed the way he looks at life. Hearing him speak about his experience with coming out of a comatose state was a good reminder to appreciate everything we have.

Featured photo credit: Peter Heeling via skitterphoto.com

More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the Content Strategist of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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