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Last Updated on February 27, 2018

In the Hot Seat: The ‘Short’ One In The Relationship

In the Hot Seat: The ‘Short’ One In The Relationship

How do you feel about your height? More specifically, how do you feel about your height when you’re in a relationship? You may be a small lady with a much taller partner, or a short man with a towering other half. You may have a preference to height when it comes to choosing a partner and it can all be down to how we feel about our own height whether consciously or subconsciously.

Not everyone feels comfortable being the shorter or taller person in a relationship especially if it goes against the stereotype that men should be taller than women. So for those people that don’t conform to the height stereotype in a relationship, how does it feel? Specifically, how does it feel to be the ‘short’ person? Do they own their shortness with pride or do some struggle with their lack of height?

Lifehack: How do you feel about the height stereotypes in relationships?

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“Being short myself I firmly believe that the whole concept “men must be taller than women” should go. There may be evolutionary and social reasons why women usually look for the taller partners, but in the modern world height doesn’t necessarily translate into better personal qualities or any increased benefits. So it would be much better if the social stigma of reversed height couples will go away.”

Lifehack: How does it feel as a woman dating a shorter man?

“I’m 5’7 and I was with a man an inch or two shorter than me once and I never even realised until he pointed it out. But I do tend to prefer men around my height whereas I have friends taller than me who would feel awkward with a man shorter. My advice would be not to do what my bloke did and point it out. Even though he said it in a jokey way it was obvious that he had an issue with it which then made me feel awkward about it.”

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“It doesn’t bother me although I tend to avoid wearing high heels more when I’m dating a shorter man maybe because sometimes it’s nice to not tower over your partner!”

Lifehack: How does it feel as a man dating a taller woman?

“My girlfriend is 9″ taller than me. She was the one that asked me out. I was actually shocked that she was interested in me. We’ve been dating for about 6 months now. The height difference is not a big deal. You just have to be confident about it.”

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“My girlfriend is a good 1-2″ taller than me. Admittedly it was a bit weird when she would grab something from my cupboard that I couldn’t quite reach, and standing face to face I have to raise up a bit to kiss her. Other than that it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t care, and according to her, it’s cute. Everyone is different and if she makes a fuss over height, she isn’t worth it.”

“As a shorter man, I always believed I’d struggle with women or only be able to date women shorter than me. I used to feel a kind of lack and end up acting with more bravado and flashiness but I soon learned many women don’t care about height. At the end of the day, height isn’t an issue when love is involved.”

Lifehack: As a woman, have you always dated taller men?

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“Yes mainly because I’d amassed a collection of subconscious prejudices connected with height. Was he going to have a Napoleon Complex? Would he be less confident, less at ease with himself and less successful than a man who stood up at six foot? Looking back, I think my problems were mainly to do with my own insecurities.”

Lifehack: Does being a ‘short’ man affect your self-confidence?

“As a 5″2 man, I rarely meet an adult male who is my height or shorter, although quite a few women are my height or slightly shorter. It is not a big deal. My wife is the same height as I am. And I have a successful enough career. I haven’t noticed my height being a restriction in these areas.”

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

So, maybe it’s time to ditch the height stereotypes when it comes to dating. Our height isn’t something we can overly control and we all have preferences to being attracted to tall or short people. But society has a lot to answer for in terms of shaping the way we believe the height stereotype should be. After all, it’s more about the person than how they look. So if you’re on the shorter (or taller) side, own it and feel confident because it’s your confidence that will shine through in the end.

Featured photo credit: Rosie Ann via pexels.com

More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

1. Breathe

The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

  • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
  • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
  • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

2. Loosen up

After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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3. Chew slowly

Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

4. Let go

Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

It’s not. Promise.

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Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

5. Enjoy the journey

Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

6. Look at the big picture

The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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Will this matter to me…

  • Next week?
  • Next month?
  • Next year?
  • In 10 years?

Hint: No, it won’t.

I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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8. Practice patience every day

Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

  • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
  • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
  • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

Final thoughts

Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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