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In the Hot Seat: The ‘Short’ One In The Relationship

In the Hot Seat: The ‘Short’ One In The Relationship

How do you feel about your height? More specifically, how do you feel about your height when you’re in a relationship? You may be a small lady with a much taller partner, or a short man with a towering other half. You may have a preference to height when it comes to choosing a partner and it can all be down to how we feel about our own height whether consciously or subconsciously.

Not everyone feels comfortable being the shorter or taller person in a relationship especially if it goes against the stereotype that men should be taller than women. So for those people that don’t conform to the height stereotype in a relationship, how does it feel? Specifically, how does it feel to be the ‘short’ person? Do they own their shortness with pride or do some struggle with their lack of height?

Lifehack: How do you feel about the height stereotypes in relationships?

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“Being short myself I firmly believe that the whole concept “men must be taller than women” should go. There may be evolutionary and social reasons why women usually look for the taller partners, but in the modern world height doesn’t necessarily translate into better personal qualities or any increased benefits. So it would be much better if the social stigma of reversed height couples will go away.”

Lifehack: How does it feel as a woman dating a shorter man?

“I’m 5’7 and I was with a man an inch or two shorter than me once and I never even realised until he pointed it out. But I do tend to prefer men around my height whereas I have friends taller than me who would feel awkward with a man shorter. My advice would be not to do what my bloke did and point it out. Even though he said it in a jokey way it was obvious that he had an issue with it which then made me feel awkward about it.”

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“It doesn’t bother me although I tend to avoid wearing high heels more when I’m dating a shorter man maybe because sometimes it’s nice to not tower over your partner!”

Lifehack: How does it feel as a man dating a taller woman?

“My girlfriend is 9″ taller than me. She was the one that asked me out. I was actually shocked that she was interested in me. We’ve been dating for about 6 months now. The height difference is not a big deal. You just have to be confident about it.”

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“My girlfriend is a good 1-2″ taller than me. Admittedly it was a bit weird when she would grab something from my cupboard that I couldn’t quite reach, and standing face to face I have to raise up a bit to kiss her. Other than that it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t care, and according to her, it’s cute. Everyone is different and if she makes a fuss over height, she isn’t worth it.”

“As a shorter man, I always believed I’d struggle with women or only be able to date women shorter than me. I used to feel a kind of lack and end up acting with more bravado and flashiness but I soon learned many women don’t care about height. At the end of the day, height isn’t an issue when love is involved.”

Lifehack: As a woman, have you always dated taller men?

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“Yes mainly because I’d amassed a collection of subconscious prejudices connected with height. Was he going to have a Napoleon Complex? Would he be less confident, less at ease with himself and less successful than a man who stood up at six foot? Looking back, I think my problems were mainly to do with my own insecurities.”

Lifehack: Does being a ‘short’ man affect your self-confidence?

“As a 5″2 man, I rarely meet an adult male who is my height or shorter, although quite a few women are my height or slightly shorter. It is not a big deal. My wife is the same height as I am. And I have a successful enough career. I haven’t noticed my height being a restriction in these areas.”

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

So, maybe it’s time to ditch the height stereotypes when it comes to dating. Our height isn’t something we can overly control and we all have preferences to being attracted to tall or short people. But society has a lot to answer for in terms of shaping the way we believe the height stereotype should be. After all, it’s more about the person than how they look. So if you’re on the shorter (or taller) side, own it and feel confident because it’s your confidence that will shine through in the end.

Featured photo credit: Rosie Ann via pexels.com

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Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on November 11, 2019

How to Improve Memory and Boost Your Brainpower

How to Improve Memory and Boost Your Brainpower

Have you ever noticed that some people are able to effortlessly remember even the most mundane details and quickly comprehend new things? Well, you can too!

To unlock the full potential of your brain, you need to keep it active and acute. Wasting time on your couch watching mindless television shows or scrolling through facebook is not going to help.

Besides getting out flashcards, what can you do to help remember things better and learn new things more quickly? Check out these 10 effective ways on how to improve memory:

1. Exercise and Get Your Body Moving

Exercising doesn’t just exercise the body, it also helps to exercise your brain. Obesity and the myriad of diseases that eventually set in as a result of being overweight can cause serious harm to the brain.

Furthermore, without regular exercise, plaque starts to build up in your arteries, and your blood vessels begin to lose the ability to effectively pump blood. Plaque buildup leads to heart attacks and it also reduces the amount of oxygen and nutrients that your blood carries to your brain. When the nutrients don’t make it there, the brain’s ability to function is compromised.

To prevent this from happening, make sure you get moving every day. Even if it’s just a brisk walk, it’ll help you maintain and increase your mental acuity. Brisk walking, swimming and dancing are all excellent activities. Take a look at these 5 Ways to Find Time for Exercise.

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2. Eliminate Stressors and Seek Help If You’re Depressed

Anything that causes you major stress, like anger or anxiety, will in time begin to eat away the parts of your brain that are responsible for memory. Amongst the most brain-damaging stressors is depression, which is actually often misdiagnosed a a memory problem since one of its primary symptoms is the inability to concentrate.

If you can’t concentrate, then you might feel like you are constantly forgetting things. Depression increases the levels of cortisol in your bloodstream which elevates the cortisol levels in the brain. Doctors have found that increased cortisol diminishes certain areas of the brain, especially the hippocampus which is where short-term memories are stored.

Prolonged depression can thus destroy your brain’s ability to remember anything new. Seek professional help to combat your depression – your brain will thank you.

3. Get a Good Night’s Sleep and Take Naps

Getting a consistent 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night will increase your memory. During sleep, the brain firms up memories of recently acquired information.

Getting enough sleep will help you get through the full spectrum of nocturnal cycles that are essential to optimal brain and body functioning during the waking hours. Taking a nap throughout the day, especially after learning something new, can also help you to retain those memories as well as recharge your brain and keep it sharper longer.

4. Feed Your Brain

Fifty to sixty percent of the brain’s overall weight is pure fat, which is used to insulate its billions of nerve cells. The better insulated a cell is, the faster it can send messages and the quicker you will be thinking.

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This is precisely why parents are advised to feed their young children whole milk and to restrict dieting – their brains’ need fat to grow and work properly. Skimping on fats can be devastating even to the adult brain.

Thus, eating foods that contain a healthy mix of fats is vital for long-term memory. Some excellent food choices include fish (especially anchovies, mackerel and wild salmon) and dark leafy green vegetables. Here’re more brain food choices: 12 Foods that Can Improve Your Brain Power

Deep-fried foods obviously contain fat but their lack of nutritional value is not going to help your brain or your body, so think healthy foods and fats.

5. Eat Breakfast and Make Sure It Includes an Egg

According to Larry McCleary, M.D., author of  The Brain Trust Program, an egg is the ideal breakfast. Eggs contain B vitamins which help nerve cells to burn glucose, antioxidants that protect neurons against damage; and omega-3 fatty acids that keep nerve cells firing at optimal speed.

Other foods to add to your breakfast include fruits, veggies and lean proteins. Avoid trans fats and high fructose corn syrup. Trans fats diminish the brain cells’ ability to communicate with each other and HFCS can actually shrink the brain by damaging cells.

Having a healthy breakfast in the morning has been shown to improve performance throughout the day. If you’re too busy to have a healthy breakfast, this maybe just right for you: 33 Quick And Healthy Breakfasts For Busy Mornings

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6. Write it Down

If there’s something you want to remember, writing it down can help.

It may sound like a no-brainer, but do you really know why? Writing it down creates oxygenated blood flow to areas of your brain that a responsible for your memories and literally exercises those parts of it. Here’s How Writing Things Down Can Change Your Life.

You can start a journal, write yourself emails or even start keeping a blog – all of these activities will help to improve your capacity to remember and memorize information.

7. Listen to Music

Research shows that certain types of music are very helpful in recalling memories. Information that is learned while listening to a particular song or collection can often be recalled by thinking of the song or “playing” it mentally. Songs and music can serve as cues for pulling up particular memories.

8. Visual Concepts

In order to remember things, many people need to visualize the information they are studying.

Pay attention to photographers, charts and other graphics that might appear in your textbook; or if you’re not studying a book, try to pull up a mental image of what it is you are trying to remember. It might also help to draw your own charts or figures, or utilize colors and highlighters to group related ideas in your notes.

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Here, you can learn How to Become a Person Who Can Visualize Results.

9. Teach Someone Else

Reading material out loud has been shown to significantly improve memory of the material. Expanding further upon this idea is the fact that psychologists and educators have found that by having students teach new concepts to others, it helps to enhance understanding and recall.

Teach new concepts and information to a friend or study partner, and you’ll find you remember the information a lot better.

10. Do Crossword Puzzles, Read or Play Cards

Studies have shown that doing crossword puzzles, read or play cards on a daily basis not only keep your brain active but also help to delay memory loss, especially in those who develop dementia.

So pick up the daily newspaper and work on that crossword puzzle, read a book or enjoy a game of solitaire.

Pick one to two of these tips first and start applying them to your everyday life. Very soon you’ll find yourself having better memories and a clearer head!

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Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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