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In the Hot Seat: The Gold Digger

In the Hot Seat: The Gold Digger

Can you spot the sugar daddy? He’s the older, affluent man with a young, attractive woman on his arm. They’re at nice restaurants, where she’ll fawn over him, and he’ll pick up the tab. They shop at branded stores and stay in swanky hotels.

Gold diggers are the subjects of songs, gossip, and scorn. Most people believe the man is unsuspecting and think the woman is predatory. What does it take to be a gold digger, and is the title reserved only for women?

We’ve compiled responses from actual gold diggers, Tiffany, Matthew, and Tina, to see if we can understand why they do what they do.

Living above your means

Lifehack: Why did you become a gold digger?

Tiffany: I always knew I wanted a lifestyle I couldn’t get as an actress. I figured I could trade my good looks and personality for financial stability.

Lifehack: What have you learned from this experience?

Tiffany: There’s nothing wrong with going after what you want.

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Tina: I wasn’t madly in love with my husband at first, but I found him to be kind and attractive. I learned that the security he offered made it possible for me to grow to love him.

Lifehack: Do your family and friends know what you do?

Tiffany: Yes. My family isn’t happy with the way I handle my love life. My friends are all looking for sugar daddies too.

Lifehack: What does being a gold digger entail?

Tina: Sugar babies have to be appealing to wealthy men. We not only need to look nice and dress well, but we also need to be interesting.

After you’ve snagged a guy, you can look forward to fancy gifts and maybe even an allowance. Usually a sugar daddy is too busy to spend lots of time with you, but he wants a companion for his free time. It’s like he’s keeping you on retainer for when he’s around.

Lifehack: Share a bad experience you had as a sugar baby.

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Tina: The guy I was with spotted a younger and better looking woman at the club. I poured on extra charm keep him distracted. When we left the club, I thought my worries were over.

As we were waited for the car, she showed up. He invited her to spend the night with us. This crossed a line for me.

Lifehack: Is this a thinly-veiled form of prostitution?

Tiffany: No. Prostitution is a transaction. There isn’t a value that the guy can put on what I do. I’m caring, compassionate, and I improve his life.

Lifehack: What’s it like to be a guy who goes after rich women?

Matthew: I’d say it’s more difficult. There are fewer wealthy women to choose from, but with persistence you can find someone.

You can get security from a sugar mama, but it never lasts. I’m more like their pet. I do what they ask and sleep with them when they want. I’ve never been with one for more than a year, but I know a guy who wound up having a real love connection with his.

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Lifehack: Is it getting more common for guys to be involved with rich older women?

Matthew: Women have a lot more freedom today. They’re empowered to go after what they want, and a lot of them want a young guy. This trend will continue as women get better jobs and have less time to deal with the issues from men their own age.

Lifehack: How long will you do this?

Tiffany: Until I find someone to marry me. My plan is to never work hard for the finer things.

Lifehack: Do you intend to have a real relationship or marry someone closer to your age in the future?

Tiffany: I feel good about the caliber of men I’m dating. I don’t mind if they’re older. I don’t think I can go back to dating someone who makes less than me.

Matthew: Yes. I am feeling pretty used up after dealing with cougars for so long. I’m ready to find a nice girl my own age that I can introduce to my parents.

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Lifehack: What’s something you wouldn’t expect to know about this lifestyle?

Tina: Some men are aware that they’re entering into a relationship with a sugar baby. They may keep more than one, and make different arrangements with each.

Lifehack: What are some extravagant things you’ve received from your sugar daddy?

Tiffany: I got an apartment in Dubai. He does a lot of business there, and he wanted to have me on standby.

Money does buy happiness for some

The experiences of the “sugars” do vary. Some have fallen in love, and others are just waiting for something better to come along. The position of a gold digger is more complicated than we realized.

More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on November 11, 2019

How to Improve Memory and Boost Your Brainpower

How to Improve Memory and Boost Your Brainpower

Have you ever noticed that some people are able to effortlessly remember even the most mundane details and quickly comprehend new things? Well, you can too!

To unlock the full potential of your brain, you need to keep it active and acute. Wasting time on your couch watching mindless television shows or scrolling through facebook is not going to help.

Besides getting out flashcards, what can you do to help remember things better and learn new things more quickly? Check out these 10 effective ways on how to improve memory:

1. Exercise and Get Your Body Moving

Exercising doesn’t just exercise the body, it also helps to exercise your brain. Obesity and the myriad of diseases that eventually set in as a result of being overweight can cause serious harm to the brain.

Furthermore, without regular exercise, plaque starts to build up in your arteries, and your blood vessels begin to lose the ability to effectively pump blood. Plaque buildup leads to heart attacks and it also reduces the amount of oxygen and nutrients that your blood carries to your brain. When the nutrients don’t make it there, the brain’s ability to function is compromised.

To prevent this from happening, make sure you get moving every day. Even if it’s just a brisk walk, it’ll help you maintain and increase your mental acuity. Brisk walking, swimming and dancing are all excellent activities. Take a look at these 5 Ways to Find Time for Exercise.

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2. Eliminate Stressors and Seek Help If You’re Depressed

Anything that causes you major stress, like anger or anxiety, will in time begin to eat away the parts of your brain that are responsible for memory. Amongst the most brain-damaging stressors is depression, which is actually often misdiagnosed a a memory problem since one of its primary symptoms is the inability to concentrate.

If you can’t concentrate, then you might feel like you are constantly forgetting things. Depression increases the levels of cortisol in your bloodstream which elevates the cortisol levels in the brain. Doctors have found that increased cortisol diminishes certain areas of the brain, especially the hippocampus which is where short-term memories are stored.

Prolonged depression can thus destroy your brain’s ability to remember anything new. Seek professional help to combat your depression – your brain will thank you.

3. Get a Good Night’s Sleep and Take Naps

Getting a consistent 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night will increase your memory. During sleep, the brain firms up memories of recently acquired information.

Getting enough sleep will help you get through the full spectrum of nocturnal cycles that are essential to optimal brain and body functioning during the waking hours. Taking a nap throughout the day, especially after learning something new, can also help you to retain those memories as well as recharge your brain and keep it sharper longer.

4. Feed Your Brain

Fifty to sixty percent of the brain’s overall weight is pure fat, which is used to insulate its billions of nerve cells. The better insulated a cell is, the faster it can send messages and the quicker you will be thinking.

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This is precisely why parents are advised to feed their young children whole milk and to restrict dieting – their brains’ need fat to grow and work properly. Skimping on fats can be devastating even to the adult brain.

Thus, eating foods that contain a healthy mix of fats is vital for long-term memory. Some excellent food choices include fish (especially anchovies, mackerel and wild salmon) and dark leafy green vegetables. Here’re more brain food choices: 12 Foods that Can Improve Your Brain Power

Deep-fried foods obviously contain fat but their lack of nutritional value is not going to help your brain or your body, so think healthy foods and fats.

5. Eat Breakfast and Make Sure It Includes an Egg

According to Larry McCleary, M.D., author of  The Brain Trust Program, an egg is the ideal breakfast. Eggs contain B vitamins which help nerve cells to burn glucose, antioxidants that protect neurons against damage; and omega-3 fatty acids that keep nerve cells firing at optimal speed.

Other foods to add to your breakfast include fruits, veggies and lean proteins. Avoid trans fats and high fructose corn syrup. Trans fats diminish the brain cells’ ability to communicate with each other and HFCS can actually shrink the brain by damaging cells.

Having a healthy breakfast in the morning has been shown to improve performance throughout the day. If you’re too busy to have a healthy breakfast, this maybe just right for you: 33 Quick And Healthy Breakfasts For Busy Mornings

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6. Write it Down

If there’s something you want to remember, writing it down can help.

It may sound like a no-brainer, but do you really know why? Writing it down creates oxygenated blood flow to areas of your brain that a responsible for your memories and literally exercises those parts of it. Here’s How Writing Things Down Can Change Your Life.

You can start a journal, write yourself emails or even start keeping a blog – all of these activities will help to improve your capacity to remember and memorize information.

7. Listen to Music

Research shows that certain types of music are very helpful in recalling memories. Information that is learned while listening to a particular song or collection can often be recalled by thinking of the song or “playing” it mentally. Songs and music can serve as cues for pulling up particular memories.

8. Visual Concepts

In order to remember things, many people need to visualize the information they are studying.

Pay attention to photographers, charts and other graphics that might appear in your textbook; or if you’re not studying a book, try to pull up a mental image of what it is you are trying to remember. It might also help to draw your own charts or figures, or utilize colors and highlighters to group related ideas in your notes.

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Here, you can learn How to Become a Person Who Can Visualize Results.

9. Teach Someone Else

Reading material out loud has been shown to significantly improve memory of the material. Expanding further upon this idea is the fact that psychologists and educators have found that by having students teach new concepts to others, it helps to enhance understanding and recall.

Teach new concepts and information to a friend or study partner, and you’ll find you remember the information a lot better.

10. Do Crossword Puzzles, Read or Play Cards

Studies have shown that doing crossword puzzles, read or play cards on a daily basis not only keep your brain active but also help to delay memory loss, especially in those who develop dementia.

So pick up the daily newspaper and work on that crossword puzzle, read a book or enjoy a game of solitaire.

Pick one to two of these tips first and start applying them to your everyday life. Very soon you’ll find yourself having better memories and a clearer head!

More About Boosting Memory

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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