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In the Hot Seat: The Ugly Duckling Turned Swan

In the Hot Seat: The Ugly Duckling Turned Swan

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder–at least that’s what we’re told. Many of us agree that personality and intelligence are far more important than physical appearance. A person’s attractiveness should be a superficial concern.

All of this sounds great, but science tells us that attractive people have an easier time in life than less attractive individuals.[1] How does it feel to be an average-looking person who doesn’t meet beauty standards?

Some people turn to plastic surgery to improve their appearance and end insults and bullying. Plastic surgery has its risks, and it can be dangerous. We’ve all heard of plastic surgeries gone wrong or seen the person who is addicted to having more work done. For some of us, though, becoming more attractive is well worth the risk.

Today in the hot seat, we’ll talk to Jackie, a young woman who underwent an elective rhinoplasty (nose job). We’ll explore how she felt before and after her surgery. We’ll also chat about how her family and boyfriend felt about her decision to get surgery.

Changing faces

Lifehack: Why did you get plastic surgery?

Jackie: I always had a really big nose. It wasn’t just big–it was crooked. Kids were pretty harsh to me in school. They called me “the goblin,” beat me up, and mocked me mercilessly.

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Even as an adult, I could tell people were staring at my nose when they talked to me. I know that it affected me socially because people didn’t want to be associated with me when we went out. My nose made me look ugly.

I knew that as soon as I could save up enough money, I wanted to get a nose job.

Lifehack: What have you learned from the experience?

Jackie: I learned that surgery doesn’t fix poor self-esteem. The recovery for my nose job took a long time. When I got out of surgery, I looked like I had been in a bar fight. The swelling didn’t totally disappear for almost a year.

Even though my surgeon talked to me about the recovery timeline, I was still shocked when I saw my face without the bandages for the first time. The surgery helped with my self-esteem, but I also had to learn to love myself.

Lifehack: Does your family know you went under the knife?

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Jackie: They were very supportive of my decision, and they helped a lot during recovery. They saw this surgery as a chance for me to take control of my appearance like never before.

Lifehack: Would you recommend plastic surgery to others?

Jackie: It depends. A surgery to repair an injury or help with breathing problems is definitely a good choice.

If there’s no medical reason to make the change, do lots of research first. My surgeon did a great job, but the changes she made were permanent. I had to adapt to a new face. My smile looks so different now. It took me a while to feel good about my choice.

Lifehack: Will you have more work done in the future?

Jackie: No. I think I’m going to be happy with myself just the way I am. I’d only do it if an accident or illness caused me to need reconstructive surgery.

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Lifehack: Did you have any stories of getting back at your bullies after they see your new face?

Jackie: A guy that used to harass me in school tried to pick me up in a bar when my boyfriend stepped away to get us a round of drinks. The guy didn’t recognize me, but I knew who he was. I said, “My memory must be better than yours. Since you didn’t want anything to do with me when I was a goblin, I don’t want anything to do with you now.”

His jaw dropped. Then, my very attractive boyfriend returned with my drink.

Lifehack: How does your boyfriend feel about you now that you are different?

Jackie: He’s my husband now! He loved me before, and he still does. He says that if I’m happy with the way I look, that’s all that matters to him.

Lifehack: Are you happier now?

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Jackie: I am. It wasn’t the overnight miracle I thought it was going to be, but through time I’ve built confidence and learned to love myself.

Lifehack: Do you believe that beauty is more important than brains?

Jackie: No way. Substance beats style every time. Beauty is fleeting, but you’ll always have your mind and your sense of humor.

You have to change more than your face

Getting plastic surgery is a big decision that can have life-altering effects. Even though Jackie’s experience was positive, she had to do a lot of inner-work before she felt good about her new nose.

Reference

More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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