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In the Hot Seat: The Ugly Duckling Turned Swan

In the Hot Seat: The Ugly Duckling Turned Swan

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder–at least that’s what we’re told. Many of us agree that personality and intelligence are far more important than physical appearance. A person’s attractiveness should be a superficial concern.

All of this sounds great, but science tells us that attractive people have an easier time in life than less attractive individuals.[1] How does it feel to be an average-looking person who doesn’t meet beauty standards?

Some people turn to plastic surgery to improve their appearance and end insults and bullying. Plastic surgery has its risks, and it can be dangerous. We’ve all heard of plastic surgeries gone wrong or seen the person who is addicted to having more work done. For some of us, though, becoming more attractive is well worth the risk.

Today in the hot seat, we’ll talk to Jackie, a young woman who underwent an elective rhinoplasty (nose job). We’ll explore how she felt before and after her surgery. We’ll also chat about how her family and boyfriend felt about her decision to get surgery.

Changing faces

Lifehack: Why did you get plastic surgery?

Jackie: I always had a really big nose. It wasn’t just big–it was crooked. Kids were pretty harsh to me in school. They called me “the goblin,” beat me up, and mocked me mercilessly.

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Even as an adult, I could tell people were staring at my nose when they talked to me. I know that it affected me socially because people didn’t want to be associated with me when we went out. My nose made me look ugly.

I knew that as soon as I could save up enough money, I wanted to get a nose job.

Lifehack: What have you learned from the experience?

Jackie: I learned that surgery doesn’t fix poor self-esteem. The recovery for my nose job took a long time. When I got out of surgery, I looked like I had been in a bar fight. The swelling didn’t totally disappear for almost a year.

Even though my surgeon talked to me about the recovery timeline, I was still shocked when I saw my face without the bandages for the first time. The surgery helped with my self-esteem, but I also had to learn to love myself.

Lifehack: Does your family know you went under the knife?

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Jackie: They were very supportive of my decision, and they helped a lot during recovery. They saw this surgery as a chance for me to take control of my appearance like never before.

Lifehack: Would you recommend plastic surgery to others?

Jackie: It depends. A surgery to repair an injury or help with breathing problems is definitely a good choice.

If there’s no medical reason to make the change, do lots of research first. My surgeon did a great job, but the changes she made were permanent. I had to adapt to a new face. My smile looks so different now. It took me a while to feel good about my choice.

Lifehack: Will you have more work done in the future?

Jackie: No. I think I’m going to be happy with myself just the way I am. I’d only do it if an accident or illness caused me to need reconstructive surgery.

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Lifehack: Did you have any stories of getting back at your bullies after they see your new face?

Jackie: A guy that used to harass me in school tried to pick me up in a bar when my boyfriend stepped away to get us a round of drinks. The guy didn’t recognize me, but I knew who he was. I said, “My memory must be better than yours. Since you didn’t want anything to do with me when I was a goblin, I don’t want anything to do with you now.”

His jaw dropped. Then, my very attractive boyfriend returned with my drink.

Lifehack: How does your boyfriend feel about you now that you are different?

Jackie: He’s my husband now! He loved me before, and he still does. He says that if I’m happy with the way I look, that’s all that matters to him.

Lifehack: Are you happier now?

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Jackie: I am. It wasn’t the overnight miracle I thought it was going to be, but through time I’ve built confidence and learned to love myself.

Lifehack: Do you believe that beauty is more important than brains?

Jackie: No way. Substance beats style every time. Beauty is fleeting, but you’ll always have your mind and your sense of humor.

You have to change more than your face

Getting plastic surgery is a big decision that can have life-altering effects. Even though Jackie’s experience was positive, she had to do a lot of inner-work before she felt good about her new nose.

Reference

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Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on September 16, 2019

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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