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Can An Affair Ever Help A Marriage?

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Can An Affair Ever Help A Marriage?

Affаіrѕ are nоt whаt thеу used to be bесаuѕе mаrrіаgе іѕ not what it uѕеd tо bе. For much оf hіѕtоrу, and іn mаnу раrtѕ оf thе wоrld tоdау, marriage wаѕ a рrаgmаtіс аllіаnсе thаt ensured есоnоmіс stability and ѕосіаl cohesion. Thе Stаtе оf Affairs: Rеthіnkіng Infіdеlіtу by Esther Perel сhаllеngеѕ thе quick соndеmnаtіоn оf the unfaithful аnd роѕіtѕ thе idea that сhеаtіng іn certain сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ саn bе еmрhаѕіѕ on a lіbеrаtіng, еvеn brаvе, асt.

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    Affаіrѕ, she аrguеѕ, hаvе a lot to tеасh uѕ about thе humаn heart what we expect, whаt wе thіnk wе wаnt, аnd whаt we feel entitled tо. Thеу offer a unіԛuе wіndоw into our реrѕоnаl and cultural аttіtudеѕ about love, luѕt, and commitment. Thrоugh еxаmіnіng іllісіt lоvе frоm multірlе аnglеѕ, Pеrеl іnvіtеѕ readers іntо аn hоnеѕt, еnlіghtеnеd, аnd еntеrtаіnіng exploration оf mоdеrn mаrrіаgе іn its mаnу vаrіаtіоnѕ.

    What is an affair?

    An affair: іt саn rоb a соuрlе of thеіr rеlаtіоnѕhір, thеіr hарріnеѕѕ, thеіr very іdеntіtу. And yet, thіѕ extremely соmmоn humаn experience іѕ ѕо poorly undеrѕtооd. Adultеrу hаѕ еxіѕtеd ѕіnсе marriage wаѕ іnvеntеd, аnd ѕо tоо the рrоhіbіtіоn аgаіnѕt it—in fасt, іt hаѕ a tеnасіtу that mаrrіаgе саn оnlу еnvу. Sо whаt аrе we tо make of thіѕ tіmе-hоnоrеd taboo—universally fоrbіddеn уеt unіvеrѕаllу рrасtісеd? Why dо people сhеаt—еvеn those in hарру mаrrіаgеѕ? Why dоеѕ an affair hurt so much? When we say іnfіdеlіtу, what еxасtlу dо wе mеаn? Do оur romantic еxресtаtіоnѕ оf marriage ѕеt uѕ up for betrayal? Is thеrе such a thіng аѕ аn аffаіr-рrооf mаrrіаgе? Is іt роѕѕіblе to love mоrе thаn оnе реrѕоn at оnсе? Cаn an affair еvеr hеlр a marriage? Pеrеl wеаvеѕ rеаl-lіfе саѕе stories wіth incisive рѕусhоlоgісаl аnd сulturаl analysis іn thіѕ fаѕt-расеd and соmреllіng bооk.

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    Coping with infidelity

    Fоr thе past tеn years, Perel has trаvеlеd thе glоbе аnd worked wіth hundrеdѕ of соuрlеѕ who hаvе grаррlеd wіth іnfіdеlіtу. Bеtrауаl hurtѕ, she writes, but іt can bе hеаlеd. An аffаіr can еvеn bе thе doorway to a nеw mаrrіаgе wіth the same person. With thе rіght approach, соuрlеѕ can grоw and lеаrn frоm these tumultuоuѕ experiences, together or араrt.

    “Thе State of Affairs takes a fresh lооk аt infidelity, broadening the fосuѕ from thе hаvос it wreaks within a соmmіttеd relationship to соnѕіdеr аlѕо why реорlе dо іt, whаt it mеаnѕ tо thеm, аnd whу brеаkіng uр is thе еxресtеd response tо duрlісіtу but not nесеѕѕаrіlу the wіѕеѕt оnе.” (Thе LA Rеvіеw of Bооkѕ)

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    Fiercely intelligent, Thе Stаtе of Affairs рrоvіdеѕ a daring framework for undеrѕtаndіng the intricacies оf lоvе and desire. Aѕ Pеrеl оbѕеrvеѕ, “Love іѕ mеѕѕу; іnfіdеlіtу mоrе ѕо. But іt іѕ also a wіndоw, lіkе nо оthеr, іntо the сrеvісеѕ of the humаn hеаrt.” Thе bооk іѕ ѕurе tо ѕраrk intelligent соnvеrѕаtіоnѕ thаt wіll have rеаdеrѕ еvеrуwhеrе еxаmіnіng thеіr belief ѕуѕtеmѕ. Thіѕ іѕ a thоught-рrоvоkіng tаkе оn relationships аnd еѕѕеntіаl rеаdіng fоr соuрlеѕ dеаlіng wіth іnfіdеlіtу.

    Reading duration: 6 hours 56 minutes

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    Get The State of Affairs from Amazon at $17.68

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    Anna Chui

    Anna is the Editor-in-Chief and Content Strategist of Lifehack. She's also a communication expert and shares tips on happiness and relationships.

    Why Your Lover Doesn’t Want Your Advice, but Your Validation life is pain Life Is Pain: Why a Life Without Pain Guarantees True Suffering 10 Affordable (And Truly Beautiful) Cities in Europe That You Can Go Right Now The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life

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    Last Updated on November 15, 2021

    12 Best Marketing Books To Grow Your Personal Brand

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    12 Best Marketing Books To Grow Your Personal Brand

    Growing your personal brand continues to be a popular trend, especially among millennials. According to Business Insider, a staggering 1.8 billion photos are uploaded every day via social media. Inc.com points out that personal branding allows you to establish a reputation and an identity while still maintaining a personal level of trust and interaction, usually through social media.

    If you study the marketing efforts of a major corporation like Apple Inc., it is evident how the tech company strategically creates a unique voice and a signature image that connects with their followers. Jayson Demars of Forbes states people are far more compelled to trust individuals as opposed to corporations.

    “People are far more likely to follow you, talk to you, trust you, and engage with you if they believe they are interacting with a real person,” said Demars. “This is where the benefits of humanizing your brand really come into play.”

    Growing your personal brand will not only build trust amongst your followers, it could end up being one of your best returns on investment. If you have a large social following and you post creative content, this won’t cost you a penny and it can raise awareness about your skill set and career ambitions. If you haven’t begun growing your personal brand or are unsure where to get started, don’t worry. We reached out to professionals in the field, including psychology and marketing expert Dr. Robyn LeBoeuf, to compile 12 of the best marketing books to help you enhance the most important brand in the world. YOURS.

    1. Buzzmarketing, by Mark Hughes

    Z

      Hughes forces you to think outside of the box when it comes to relaying your message to the masses. The former marketing executive provides real-life, memorable examples that will get people talking about your brand.

      He shares plenty of fun stories, such as how he once named renamed an entire city for a marketing campaign.

      While you won’t need to rename a city to get people talking about your personal brand, Buzzmarketing will force you to start thinking outside of the box.

      “Despite a long history in marketing I took away several things from this book and enjoyed it so much I bought a copy for all my marketing managers. its a fun, easy read yet reminds us marketers of things we already know but frequently need reminding.” – Rebecca

      2. Confessions of an Advertising Man, by David Ogilvy

      2Q==

        Adweek magazine asked people in the industry, “Which individuals – alive or dead – made you consider pursuing a career in advertising?” and David Ogilvy topped the list.

        When it comes to growing your brand, if there’s one person whose advice you should follow, it’s the ‘Father of Advertising’, David Ogilvy. His book, “Confessions of an Advertising Man,” relays his marketing secrets, which helped some of the largest brands reach tremendous growth. One insight he shares is:

        “The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.”

        If you are looking to grow your personal brand, take note of Ogilvy’s time-tested, successful pointers.

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        “This book is a “must read” for anyone considering going into advertising, as Ogilvy personally invented the industry as we know it today. However, if you want to know how to conduct yourself in the world of business, how to write, how to communicate with people, this is also the book for you.” – Tom

        3. The Brand Gap, by Marty Neumeier

        Z-1

          How can you create a brand so charismatic, it draws people in and becomes an essential part of their lives? In this book, Neumeier outlines five disciplines to help you bridge the gap between brand strategy and brand execution:

          Differentiate, Collaborate, Innovate, Validate and Cultivate

          Using visual metaphors and real-life examples, Neumeier challenges you to apply his five disciplines to your own experiences and to focus on innovation when building your personal brand.

          “As owner of a small company trying to figure out branding, this book was an invaluable read in helping me got going in the right direction. Branding is still a very large boondoggle of a neverending project, but now I at least feel like I have a better understanding of what it is I’m after. I see good branding everywhere, this book explains, as much as is possible, how to get there.” – Mark

          4. Positioning, by Al Ries and Jack Trout

          Z-2

            The now-popular marketing term ‘positioning’ was originally coined by Trout in 1969. If you want to learn what positioning means for your personal brand, this book is the place to start.

            Decades later, Ries and Trouts’ words still ring true. It seems that each year, media gets louder, and it’s even harder to reach your audience. So how can your personal brand overcome the commotion?

            From how we think about our friends to why we identify with a political party, ‘Positioning’ considers how you can frame your personal brand to your audience, and how you can stand out from the crowd.

            “This book is fantastic! They give you some clear examples of why companies rise and fall because of their failure to position themselves in a way that makes sense to the market. They talk about how companies go from successes to duds because of their inability to understand their place in the market.” – Matthew

            5. Influence, by Robert Cialdini 

            9k=

              Psychologist and marketer Bob Cialdini explores why people are persuaded to change their minds, and teaches you how to become a savvy persuader yourself. He introduces you to his six principles of ethical persuasion:

              Reciprocity, Scarcity, Liking, Authority, Social Proof, and Commitment/Consistency

              Cialdini supports each of his principles with sound data in psychology and provides examples so you can get the most out of his book and learn to deliver an excellent elevator pitch when you come across your big opportunity.

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              “I highly recommend this book to all professionals. It does not matter if you are a manager, sales person, pastor, or non-profit volunteer. The ideas in this book, once applied, will make it easier for you to accomplish your goals.” – Kevin

              6. Branding Pays, by Karen Kang

              2Q==-1

                One of the first lessons Kang introduces is that everyone knows the importance of a well-curated social media presence, but few people will actually take the initiative to manage their personal brand.

                “[Do] a Google search on your name. Are the links and images of you that show up on the first page of search results how you want your brand represented? If not, then you have some work to do.”

                Kang shares relatable, real-life examples of how you can improve your personal brand in all your social spheres, and offers concrete tips that you can begin executing immediately.

                Bill Mulholland, the founder of American Relocation Connections, makes sure his brand is well represented online. “We know that potential customers conduct research online when they are interested in our services,” stated Mulholland. “This is the exact reason why we are constantly trying to improve our online presence by obtaining reviews, posting relevant content and interacting with our followers. Businesses need to make sure that their top notch customer service is conveyed online for everyone to see.”

                “As a career services professional, I stress to students the importance of maintaining their personal brand. We started using this book in our career management courses because of its practical application. It’s easy to understand (“cake” and “icing”) with concrete examples. The book teaches you not only how to develop your brand, but more importantly, how to manage and maintain your brand.” – J.P.

                7. Career Warfare, by David D’Alessandro

                Z-3

                  In his no-nonsense, to-the-point guidebook to the business world’s battlefield, D’Alessandro shows you how to pick up the tools you already have at your disposal and best manage your personal brand for your professional development.

                  This book is more focused on a corporate environment, though the lessons can easily be applied to a small business or for an individual. If you are wondering how to deal with your corporate landscape, try some of D’Alessandro’s take-no-prisoners style tips.

                  “Whether you’re looking to thrive in a large company or launch a successful start up, David D’Allesandro’s book will help you get there sooner. Combining C-level experience with street-smarts, D’Allesandro delivers actionable insights and powerful recommendations on everything from using the power of information to stand out to keeping clients happy.” – Luke

                  8. Brand You 50, by Tom Peters 

                  9k=-1

                    As the business world continues to grow, at least one thing remains constant – your personal brand will define you, your future career and your relationships you build.

                    “The white collar job as now configured is doomed… So what’s the trick? There’s only one: distinction. Or as we call it, turning yourself into a brand… Brand You.”

                    Peters enthusiastically attests that surviving means not blending in, but standing out. True to the book’s subtitle, he will present you with 50 tangible strategies that will push your personal brand to the next level.

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                    “As usual, Tom Peters delivers the goods! His concept of Brand YOU! is great, and his ideas for practical implementation even better. If you want to stand out and reach for real excellence, read this book.” – Carl

                    9. The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield

                    9k=-2

                      Canfield, a co-creator of the bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul series, definitely knows a thing or two about inspiring readers to make a positive change in their lives.

                      Canfield outlines 64 principles to reach success, and he builds on real-life stories of people who struggled but ultimately reached success, from Olympians to blue-collar workers.

                      Touted as one of the greatest self-improvement books on shelves, ‘The Success Principles’ almost reads like a self-help book, but its greater goal is to motivate you to take charge of your personal brand and start fresh in your professional development.

                      “This book is a fantastic resource for anyone who desires to get to the next level. This is a smorgasbord of personal development, psychology, and business and financial books wrapped in one burrito. Are you hungry? This book will satisfy your appetite for success.” – Thomas

                      10. Guerilla Marketing, by Jay Conrad Levinson

                      9k=-3

                        Throughout his extensive career as an ad agency exec, Levinson was responsible for some of the world’s most recognizable brand icons, including the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Tony the Tiger.

                        Levinson shares his experiences in guerrilla marketing (a term he coined), and details how, with enough creativity and strategic thinking, you can spin any situation to your advantage. He also discusses best management practices, particularly as technology is evolving so rapidly.

                        Although Levinson’s book was first published in 1983, his teachings are timeless and they can easily be applied to the contemporary personal brand.

                        “Great book that gives you a quick introduction to the world of marketing, especially helpful for small business owner. If you’re an entrepreneur, this book is a must-read.” – James

                        11. Made to Stick, by Chip and Dan Heath

                        9k=-4

                          Chip and Dan Heath delve into the psychology behind viral social trends, like the gruesome urban myth where a traveller wakes up in a tub of ice, courtesy of a local organ-harvesting ring. They credit the proliferation of “sticky messages” to six traits:

                          Simplicity

                          Unexpectedness

                          Advertising

                          Concreteness

                          Credibility

                          Emotions

                          Stories

                          As you read about SUCCESs, the brothers Heath will show you how to apply these traits to your own personal brand’s messaging, and how to make your ideas stick.

                          “It’s brilliant! It packs the information of a textbook, while maintaining your attention like a comic book. The book on how to make ideas stick is very sticky itself. Strongly recommended.” – Vincent

                          12. You, Inc., by Harry Beckwith and Christine Clifford

                          9k=-5

                            Husband-and-wife Harry and Christine are both CEOs of their own companies, and in this book, they team up to share the lessons they learned along the way.

                            They present over 150 ideas for how to use effective communication to build your personal brand, and though the lessons are easily understood, Beckwith cautions that there is a considerable difference between ‘knowing’ and ‘doing’ something.

                            Although this book is just over 300 pages, this is one book you’ll want to take your time reading and fully absorbing.

                            Everyone wants to excel in their professional and personal lives. The 12 best marketing books to grow your personal brand will expose you to the most effective tips on personal brand development, which in turn will help you to generate more buzz about yourself in your social networks.

                            “For knowing nothing about sales, this was a great launching pad for me to get more interested and read other sales books. Pretty motivational with great bits of information to redefine how you see the world. This book has definitely shifted my approach to “getting out there” making myself more visible.” – Scott

                            This list of books includes work from the 1960s up through 2015, and amazingly, all of the concepts and principles will still hold true across generations. No matter how much business evolves or expands, human nature will always care about compelling stories – the personal brand that you give in your elevator pitch. These time-tested philosophies hold strong, proving that a successful personal brand is everything.

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                            With the help of the life-changing wisdom inside these 12 marketing books, it won’t be long before you master your personal brand with ease!

                            Featured photo credit: BigStock via bigstockphoto.com

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