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Last Updated on February 27, 2018

The Two Ends Of Love and What Lies Between, Or Is There A Between?

The Two Ends Of Love and What Lies Between, Or Is There A Between?

Love is a feeling of affection from one person towards another. While there are perhaps one thousand and one definitions for love from the human perspective, the best way to experience it is only when it is reciprocated. Love has many shades – you know those fleeting emotions that works up our feelings and heightens our interest in the other person while we are practically trying to find meaning for these feelings. Of course, real love exists but what Elyane Youssef communicates in the article Healthy Love versus Obsessive Love—& how to Get Over the Obsessive Kind shows how to identify the not so brazen difference between what love is and what it is believed to be.

Can You Answer What Love is?

Healthy love traits

The word love is loosely used these days to describe feelings of attraction, but love is more than feelings. Real, healthy love is simple and seeks to look for the other person’s good and comfort above your own. Healthy love draws its root from selflessness, open-mindedness, trust with each individuals happiness not necessarily dependent on the other person. Real love blossoms out of respect for one another and learning to go so separate ways if it fails.

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Obsessive love traits

Obsessive love is selfish and non-sacrificial. If there is any sacrifice at all, it is because of what they intend to gain later down the line. There is always no regard for the other person’s happiness and the goal is to possess the one we claim to love. It is controlling, jealous and lacks trust. Obsessive love does not like the truth; it exists in disguise and exposes both individuals involved to harm on the long run.

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Breaking away from obsession

Give love. Receive love. Repeat.”

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Obsessive love in itself should never be described as love because it fails to live up to the billing in every way. Notwithstanding, situations leading to obsessive love can be avoided at times. You may find yourself in an unexpected loop and instead of hanging on, and pushing for the light at the end of the tunnel, which is definitely lacking in this case, it is best you break it off. Breaking it off as a matter of fact cannot be achieved easily because the relationship is a predator prey relationship. What is best is a tactical approach that appraises the situation while using the opportunity to learn what true love is all about. Learning about true love can start from identifying the things you didn’t get from your supposed lover and identifying areas you have failed. That way, you avoid leaving one obsessive relationship for another.

There is an indisputable fact. If you give love – pure, honest true love, just like you want it reciprocated you are bound to get the same. Why don’t you then give love to receive more love? The French would say encore to that.

To read the full article, click here.

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More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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