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The Two Ends Of Love and What Lies Between, Or Is There A Between?

The Two Ends Of Love and What Lies Between, Or Is There A Between?

Love is a feeling of affection from one person towards another. While there are perhaps one thousand and one definitions for love from the human perspective, the best way to experience it is only when it is reciprocated. Love has many shades – you know those fleeting emotions that works up our feelings and heightens our interest in the other person while we are practically trying to find meaning for these feelings. Of course, real love exists but what Elyane Youssef communicates in the article Healthy Love versus Obsessive Love—& how to Get Over the Obsessive Kind shows how to identify the not so brazen difference between what love is and what it is believed to be.

Can You Answer What Love is?

Healthy love traits

The word love is loosely used these days to describe feelings of attraction, but love is more than feelings. Real, healthy love is simple and seeks to look for the other person’s good and comfort above your own. Healthy love draws its root from selflessness, open-mindedness, trust with each individuals happiness not necessarily dependent on the other person. Real love blossoms out of respect for one another and learning to go so separate ways if it fails.

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Obsessive love traits

Obsessive love is selfish and non-sacrificial. If there is any sacrifice at all, it is because of what they intend to gain later down the line. There is always no regard for the other person’s happiness and the goal is to possess the one we claim to love. It is controlling, jealous and lacks trust. Obsessive love does not like the truth; it exists in disguise and exposes both individuals involved to harm on the long run.

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Breaking away from obsession

Give love. Receive love. Repeat.”

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Obsessive love in itself should never be described as love because it fails to live up to the billing in every way. Notwithstanding, situations leading to obsessive love can be avoided at times. You may find yourself in an unexpected loop and instead of hanging on, and pushing for the light at the end of the tunnel, which is definitely lacking in this case, it is best you break it off. Breaking it off as a matter of fact cannot be achieved easily because the relationship is a predator prey relationship. What is best is a tactical approach that appraises the situation while using the opportunity to learn what true love is all about. Learning about true love can start from identifying the things you didn’t get from your supposed lover and identifying areas you have failed. That way, you avoid leaving one obsessive relationship for another.

There is an indisputable fact. If you give love – pure, honest true love, just like you want it reciprocated you are bound to get the same. Why don’t you then give love to receive more love? The French would say encore to that.

To read the full article, click here.

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More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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