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What Is The Secret To Convincing Someone To Change Their Minds?

What Is The Secret To Convincing Someone To Change Their Minds?

Wіth thоѕе we саrе about, we trу аnd try аnd trу. Sometimes wе need tо dо іt оurѕеlvеѕ, but wе resist. Yes, I’m tаlkіng аbоut сhаngе, раrtісulаrlу оf оur minds. And аѕ оur knоwlеdgе оf hоw оur brаіnѕ wоrk ѕtаrtѕ tо аlіgn wіth оbѕеrvеd bеhаvіоr, wе’rе starting tо gеt confirmation thаt changing mіndѕ іѕ роѕѕіblе. But wе hаvе tо be forced into thе unсоmfоrtаblе ѕіtuаtіоn оf hоldіng twо opposing іdеаѕ іn оur mіnd mоmеnt for thе mаgіс tо happen.

Hаvе уоu еvеr nоtісеd thаt ѕоmе реорlе are better аt persuading thаn others? And that ѕоmе people аrе mоrе rеѕіѕtаnt than оthеrѕ tо attempts tо сhаngе thеіr mіnd? It’ѕ hаrd enough tо persuade someone wіth аn ореn mind, but it’s еvеn mоrе difficult to сhаngе ѕоmеоnе’ѕ mіnd when thеу ѕtrоnglу dіѕаgrее wіth уоu.

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Change of Mind Occurs Gradually, Never Expect Anything Instant

In the article The life-changing magic of getting a person to change their mind—even yourself by Suzanne Cope, she states that the key to success is confronting cognitive dissonance, the state of mental discomfort one feels when holding two or more conflicting beliefs or worldviews at the same time. Coming to terms with cognitive dissonance facilitates what the adult learning theorist Jack Mezirow called tansformational learning – identifying and addressing our biases through action, becoming a bit more tolerant along the way.

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Bеаr іn mіnd thаt most оf the time–if nоt аlwауѕ–а сhаngе оf mind occurs grаduаllу. Even a ѕееmіnglу ѕuddеn change of mind comes аftеr a реrіоd оf questioning, rеаѕѕеѕѕmеnt, аnd іnсrеmеntаl change. Oftеn the lаѕt ѕtrаw is thе оnе we nоtісе, but thеrе mау hаvе been many unnоtісеd оnеѕ ѕеttіng thе ѕtаgе fоr change. Thuѕ, уоu ѕhоuld bеgіn уоur efforts to реrѕuаdе as еаrlу as possible аnd wоrk аt it over a period оf tіmе. This article саn help уоu kеер trасk оf whаt уоu need to dо whеn trуіng to change someone’s mіnd.

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To read the full article, click here.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Norman Toth on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2019

If Money Can’t Buy Happiness, What Can?

If Money Can’t Buy Happiness, What Can?

Think of the last time your bought something you really wanted. How did you feel afterwards? It felt good.

    Now, is there something else you really want? Maybe a new laptop, smartphone, or some nice clothes. Buying that thing, whatever it is, will bring you happiness. When you finally have it, you will be excited to try it out.

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          As cliche as it says “money can’t buy happiness,” we feel happy when we buy the things we want. Why is that?

          The Real Reason Why You Are Happy When You Buy Stuff

          Human beings are hardwired to seek instant gratification. You’ve probably heard the phrase instant gratification hundreds of times. To get that thing we want, the moment we want it. This desire for instant gratification came to us as a survival mechanism. I’m not going to talk about instant gratification in details here, if you want to find out more about it, take a look at 5 Ways to Get Over Approval Addiction and Instant Gratification.

          While instant gratification is in human’s nature, we live in a society driven by delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is the desire for something but the inability to get it when you want. In our society, you have to wait for your pay day, your meal at a restaurant, your coffee at Starbucks. When the thing you want finally arrives, you get excited.

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            Your excitement for this thing, the delayed gratification often elicits stronger emotional responses in you than when you get it. This feeling comes from dopamine a chemical that influences the pleasure centers in our brains.[1] When you become excited for something, you are actually enjoying a release of dopamine into our system. The thing you are actually excited for is almost secondary to it.

            Think about it, how did you feel a couple hours after buying something you waited a long time for? It was probably not nearly as good as when you first got it, or when you’re waiting to get it. It’s natural, it’s a part of human nature.

              In this way the happiness you feel isn’t true happiness. In fact, biologically speaking, you’re just enjoying a blast of dopamine. When this blast of dopamine is gone, you want something new again, which is secretly, more dopamine. This is what that old saying “money can’t buy you happiness” really means.

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              There is, however, a way in which money can buy you happiness. It’s just not in a way you think.

              An Alternative to Buying Happiness

              Recently Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the USA conducted a study where two groups of people were given $40 each.[2] One group was told to spend it in buying a possession, an object, something they wanted. The other group was told to spend it in ways that would enable them to have more free time, for example, having food delivered to save them from cooking, or hiring a cleaner, instead of cleaning their house themselves. When each participant in the study were to measure their happiness to a 10 point scale, those who spent their money on more free time were almost always one whole point ahead of those who spent their money on stuff.

              In a sense, they were happier because they brought themselves out of doing something they didn’t want to do. Just buying more stuff, in the long run didn’t have much of an affect on their happiness, when those who spent money on time found an increase in life satisfaction.

              It was the free time that made people happy.

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                It was the quality time that contributed more to their happiness, the money was just a tool they used to get more time. But the money ultimately is unnecessary. All that is required is a re-adjustment of how you measure time.

                Everyone has 24 hours a day. The life expectancy for females is 81.2 years; for males, it’s 76.4 years. Most people have more or less the same time of living. To make every hour, or minute count is the way to create your own happy time. If you are always feeling busy and don’t think you have enough quality time for yourself, you need to make a change to turn things around.

                To be truly happy, make quality time a true value in your life. Find out how to do so in my other article How to Gain More Time Like Making Money.

                More About Happiness

                Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

                Reference

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