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How Not to Give up at the Most Difficult Time

How Not to Give up at the Most Difficult Time

Think back to the last time you looked for a job. Chances are, you were on the hunt because the job you were currently in wasn’t fulfilling. You made the choice to start putting in applications, even though you knew you would face some rejection. With every “thank you for your application, but we’ve hired someone who better matches the skills required” letter you receive, it gets harder and harder to submit applications without self-deprecating. You may even contemplate staying miserable in the job you have because “at least it’s a job” rather than continuing to look for something better and more worthy of your time.

Whenever we face a difficult challenge or choice on the way to achieving something we want, it feels easier to give up than to carry on. This happens because we feel like we can’t do anything to make things easier. But once we get through it, we look back and realize it wasn’t as bad as we thought. In fact, we usually stress ourselves out far more than is necessary.

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It’s only a moment of frustration, don’t give up.

When we feel like we are losing any and all motivation we had to begin with, it can be nearly impossible to get it back.

In keeping with the example of looking for a new job while stuck in a difficult one, it’s sad to think so many of us would allow our emotions to drown out our optimism. We were not born to go to work, pay bills and die. If you spend a majority of your time at work instead of at home, why in the world would you settle for a career that makes you miserable? Yes, there are risks and hardships included any time you try to achieve a goal, each stressor is worth it in the end. But it can be so challenging to remember that when you’re going through it.

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When we face a really difficult challenge – like constant rejection from companies – we can develop tunnel vision and lose sight of the optimism all around us. All we see is the failure and heartache of not succeeding. We completely disregard the notion that this will one day be a memory and we could be recalling the memory from a corner office!

So how are we supposed to take those blinders off and push through, even when we feel anything but motivated?

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Let’s explore it in our complete guide on how not to give up:

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

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Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on March 22, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity.  We try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as our goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from us.

But what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?  It’s like your favorite food.  The more you have of it doesn’t always mean the better.  On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite of it.  So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

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We should always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

Video Summary

Assuming others are always happy is the biggest misunderstanding of happiness.

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time.  Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales.  On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives (including ourselves).  So it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

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In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life.  Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires, everyone has their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve.  As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time.  During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals.  But I got through them, and weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.   Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop trying to be happy. Just be.

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.  So what can we do?  First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness.  Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect.  It’s from experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing the same trials.  If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize.  If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.  It sounds like a paradox.  What I mean is, accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life.  Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude.  Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment right now, flash back your memory to when you had or didn’t have something.  I like to think about my career, for example.  When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated.  I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me.  But when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful!  This memory keeps me going when there are tough spots.  It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and sadness exist together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments.  Happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories.  But your life will also be filled with rain and storms that don’t ever seem to pass when you’re going through them.

But whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.  Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones.  Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”.  In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements.  Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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