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90% of People Chase for What Others Want, but Not What They Really Want

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90% of People Chase for What Others Want, but Not What They Really Want

What do you think the main purposes in life are? Some people would say that the main goal is to have a happy family, while others may say a successful career. Some people may prioritize traveling and seeing the world, while others want to spend as much time as possible with their friends.

In reality the main purposes are different for everyone, but sadly lots of people are heavily influenced by other people. This can mean that they have the wrong purpose for their life as instead of following something that they feel passionately about, they are following something someone else feels passionately about.

One of the main problems with this is that most people who are easily influenced don’t realize how easily they can be influenced! They think that they are following their own goals, and they don’t realize that they are actually prioritizing the approval of others above their own dreams.

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Ask yourself these questions; do you think that your purpose in life is great? Do you think you would still do it if others disapproved?

Our Purpose of Life Is Often Subtly Influenced by People Around Us

Do you ever find that you are agreeing with people, even though in your head you don’t actually agree with what they are saying? This can indicate that you value the opinions of others over your own opinions.

When this happens you are not expressing your personality; you are shoving it down and trying to disguise it with a new personality that isn’t really you. This is okay on a low level; humans are social creatures and so it is normal to want to get along with your peers. However it shouldn’t be affecting your life in a major way – and it definitely shouldn’t be affecting big choices such as career moves and your life purpose.

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Remember that there is nothing wrong with having a different opinion to other people. Just because you disagree, it doesn’t mean that you are wrong! It may not be easy to express your feelings, but it is important if you want to live a happy and genuine life.

How to Find Your Real Purpose of Life

While others can still provide a positive influence in your life, it is important to make sure that no-one is influencing how you think completely. If you feel like you are easily influenced by others, try these tips to solve the problem.

Imagine this: All your loved ones disappear, and no one will comment on what you do. Will you still go for what you’re doing now?

Imagine a world where you can do exactly what you want without jugdgment. Your family and friends won’t comment on your choices, and you will never know if they approve or disapprove of your decisions. Would you still be living the life that you are living right now? What you still be making the same decisions, or would you be a totally different person?

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If you imagine a totally different life, start making moves to change your current life. It may seem scary, but try and be grateful that you realized at an age when you can still change your life.

Communicate with yourself more. You shouldn’t just seek advice

Try to be very aware of your feelings so that you are less likely to just agree with other people. Think about what you care about and what bothers you, and make sure that you can articulate your feelings so that you know what to say if the subject comes up.

Practise saying “no” every day

Lots of people who are easily influenced struggle to say no, as they perceive that the other person will be upset or offended. In reality you should avoid people who get offended by your differing opinion, as it means that they don’t really like you for who you are – they just want you to act like a reflection of themselves, which is cruel and narcissistic.

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Practise saying no in the mirror every day, as this will help to build up your confidence and it will make it easier for you to stand your ground in the future.

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

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20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

Dreams — Mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and sometimes a nightmarish living hell. Dreams are all that and much more.

Here are 20 amazing facts about dreams that you might have never heard about:

Fact #1: You can’t read while dreaming, or tell the time

    If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something. The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams.

    The same goes for clocks: each time you look at a clock it will tell a different time and the hands on the clock won’t appear to be moving as reported by lucid dreamers.

    Fact #2: Lucid dreaming

    There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.

    Want to learn how to control your dreams? You can try these tips:

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    Lucid Dreaming: This Is How You Can Control Your Dreams

    Fact #3: Inventions inspired by dreams

    Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind. A few examples include:

    • The idea for Google -Larry Page
    • Alternating current generator -Tesla
    • DNA’s double helix spiral form -James Watson
    • The sewing machine -Elias Howe
    • Periodic table -Dimitri Mendeleyev

    …and many, many more.

    Fact #4: Premonition dreams

    There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about.

    You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence. The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:

    • Abraham Lincoln dreamt of His Assassination
    • Many of the victims of 9/11 had dreams warning them about the catastrophe
    • Mark Twain’s dream of his brother’s demise
    • 19 verified precognitive dreams about the Titanic catastrophe

    Fact #5: Sleep paralysis

    Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. It’s the stuff of true nightmares. I’ve been a sleep paralysis sufferer as a kid and I can attest to how truly horrible it is.

    Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move (hence paralysis) and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. It doesn’t feel like a dream, but 100% real. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” instinct and the emotions of fear, terror and anxiety. Enough said!

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    Fact #6: REM sleep disorder

    In the state of REM (rapid-eye-movement) stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed. In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down.

    Fact #7: Sexual dreams

    The very scientifically-named “nocturnal penile tumescence” is a very well documented phenomena. In laymen’s term, it simply means that you get a stiffy while you sleep. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream.

    Fact #8: Unbelievable sleepwalkers

      Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. It is an extreme form of REM sleep disorder, and these people don’t just act out their dreams, but go on real adventures at night.

      Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist. Literally. He “sleepdraws” gorgeous portraits, of which he has no recollection afterwards. Strange sleepwalking “adventures” include:

      • A woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking
      • A man who drove 22 miles and killed his cousin while sleepwalking
      • A sleepwalker who walked out of the window from the third floor, and barely survived

      Fact #9: Dream drug

      There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming.

      Fact #10 Dream-catcher

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        The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.

        Fact #11: Increased brain activity

        You would associate sleeping with peace and quiet, but actually our brains are more active during sleep than during the day.

        Fact #12: Creativity and dreams

        As we mentioned before, dreams are responsible for inventions, great artworks and are generally just incredibly interesting. They are also “recharging” our creativity.

        Scientists also say that keeping a dream diary helps with creativity.

        In rare cases of REM disorder, people actually don’t dream at all. These people suffer from significantly decreased creativity and perform badly at tasks requiring creative problem solving.

        Fact #13: Pets dream too

          Our animal companions dream as well. Watch a dog or a cat sleep and you can see that they are moving their paws and making noises like they were chasing something. Go get ’em buddy!

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          Fact #14: You always dream—you just don’t remember it

          Many people claim that they don’t dream at all, but that’s not true: we all dream, but up to 60% of people don’t remember their dreams at all.

          Fact #15: Blind people dream too

          Blind people who were not born blind see images in their dreams but people who were born blind don’t see anything at all. They still dream, and their dreams are just as intense and interesting, but they involve the other senses beside sight.

          Fact #16: In your dreams, you only see faces that you already know

            It is proven that in dreams, we can only see faces that we have seen in real life before. So beware: that scary-looking old lady next to you on the bus might as well be in your next nightmare.

            Fact #17: Dreams tend to be negative

            Surprisingly, dreams are more often negative than positive. The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear.

            Fact #18: Multiple dreams per night

            You can have up to seven different dreams per night depending on how many REM cycles you have. We only dream during the REM period of sleep, and the average person dreams one to two hours every night.

            Fact #19: Gender differences

            Interestingly, 70% of all the characters in a man’s dream are other men, but women’s dream contain an equal amount of women and men. Also men’s dreams contain a lot more aggression. Both women and men dream about sexual themes equally often.

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            Fact #20: Not everyone dreams in color

            As much as 12% of people only dream in black and white.

            Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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