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The One Trick That Will Make You Become More Confident When Facing Challenges

The One Trick That Will Make You Become More Confident When Facing Challenges

You desperately want to be promoted at work, but there’s a problem… you lack the self confidence to push yourself ahead.

Year after year you watch your colleagues move up the ladder, while you languish at the bottom. It’s not that chances don’t come your way – it’s just that you never take them when they do. Sadly, as time goes by, your self-confidence plummets to new lows, and your original career dreams lay dead in the water.

If this (or something similar) has happened to you, then it’s time to realize that…

Self Confidence – The Basis of Success

If you take an impartial look at your colleagues, friends and family members, you’ll discover that the most successful people are not always the most intelligent!

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That’s right. Intelligence is certainly a component of success, but it’s not the be all and end all. In fact, it’s fair to say that confidence is more vital to success than intelligence or skill.

If you don’t believe this, then spend some time studying TV and film actors. Sure, there are many talented actors who are at the top of their game. You see them in all the latest blockbusters. But look a little further at the supporting actors. Some of these are good – but some are (quite frankly) pitiful! I used to wonder how these second-rate actors got regular work, until I realized that they may not be great actors, but they do possess an abundance of self-confidence. In many cases, this self-confidence appears to have landed roles to these inferior actors – while leaving more talented actors in the wings.

Success and confidence go hand in hand. One of the reasons for this, is that confident people are not easily defeated by challenges and obstacles. Instead of falling at the first hurdle, they seek ways to overcome problems.

Would you like to have more success in your life? I’m sure you do. So, let’s turn now to a practical way of boosting your self-confidence.

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The Internal Confidence Boost That You Can Do Anytime Anywhere

From your home to the global arena, challenges are everywhere. You must be resilient and resourceful if you want to overcome these relentless challenges.

One way to do this, is to take some time to study a major personal challenge. Specifically, write down all the possible excuses you may have now (or in the future) of why you cannot defeat this challenge. Once you have this list, the next step is to write down a counter argument to each point. The second stage will be the part you primarily focus on, as you build your self-confidence to overcome the challenge.

Putting The Confidence Boost in Practice

To understand this further, I’m going to give you an entertaining example.

The challenge is this: You want to ask a potential partner to go out with you on a first date. Whatever your age and experience, asking someone out on a date is bound to be stressful and nerve-racking. In your head, you’re likely to have these questions going around and around… “Do they like me?” “Will they turn me down?” “Will they laugh at me?!”

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If you allow your mind to have a constant repetition of negative thoughts, it’s likely that you’ll lose your confidence and willingness to ask the person out on a date. Don’t let this happen. Instead, make a list of reasons why you don’t feel up to asking the question.

These could be things like:

  • He/she may already have a partner.
  • They probably don’t fancy me.
  • I doubt I’m in their league!

Now, create your counter argument list:

  • They may be single and open to a relationship.
  • They have been flirting with you, so there’s a decent chance they find you attractive.
  • They may be thinking the same thing as you… “Am I out of their league?!”

The above scenario can easily reach a conclusion if you’re willing to build up enough confidence to ask the other person out. If they say no, then you’ll be no worse off than if you didn’t ask them. And if they say yes – then enjoy your date!

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It Applies to All Scenarios, Not Limited to Interpersonal Interaction

Another significant challenge many people face, is financial worries. You may have credit card debts, or you’re behind with your mortgage (or both!). Again, make a list of what’s stopping you tackling the problem, and then write a supplementary list with reasons why you should and will take control of the situation.

Once you’ve got negativity and inaction out the way, take decisive steps to overcome your challenges. The more times you find yourself on the winning side, the more your self-confidence will be boosted. And remember, self-confidence is an essential component of success.

More by this author

Craig J Todd

UK Writer who loves to use the power of words to inspire and motivate.

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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