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10 Best Romance Movies That Reflect the Harsh Reality of Relationships

10 Best Romance Movies That Reflect the Harsh Reality of Relationships

A lot of people love romantic movies. They provide the ultimate escapism and feel-good factor when the forces of love triumphs. Most of the times, the reason why it has such an impact on us is because of the message it brings–a message of hope. Many can relate to sitting in front of a screen with loved ones–whether at home or in the cinema, and feeling teary eyed when that moment comes up which has the power to tug on heartstrings.

The best romantic movies do not just act as entertainment, but in fact, can actually teach us important lessons of life, love and relationships. Here are 10 romantic movies and what they taught us

1. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

    Life is sometimes difficult and we can feel like we are trapped in a situation where there is no escape. But the beauty is its unpredictability as well as the people who can come into our lives when we least expect it.

    Be open to the unexpected happening. Even though you may be struggling with demons of your own, you never know who may wander into your life when you are least expecting it. Stop looking for love and let love find you.

    2. One Day (2011)

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      This is one of those romantic movies that teaches us about the importance of friendship in a relationship. Your significant other should also be your friend. And like any good friend, they should know all your good and bad points but still love you any way.

      Even if you do not end up dating your best friend, be with someone who will ultimately be one of your closest companions and someone you can rely on–no matter what.

      3. Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

        Love sometimes catches us off-guard and we fall in love with the person we may least expect.

        Don’t judge a book by its cover. There are sometimes connections we have with people that we may never have envisioned. Physical chemistry is important, but it is even more important that they can connect with you on other levels.

        4. What’s Your Number? (2011)

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          Stop focusing on the past. There is a reason why people didn’t make to your present. If you are single (and single for a while) you may feel nostalgic and wonder “what if” about failed relationships. But remember, if those relationships were right, they would have worked out. So the fact is, one of you was a wrong match for the other person.

          Open yourself to welcoming new people and opportunities into your life.

          5. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

            Don’t change who you are. If the person is right for you, they will appreciate all those things that make you different–even the things that make you uncool to everyone else.

            The right one will love you just the way you are–and they will love you even more for your flaws and quirky bits.

            6. He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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              Don’t wait around for someone who doesn’t behave like they want to be with you. If you find yourself always making excuses or justifying someone’s absence or lack of attention, the reality is that they are probably just not that into you. It may hurt to accept this, but taking the first step to recognizing this will be the first step to breaking free from that hurt.

              Don’t allow yourself to be nothing more than an option for someone who doesn’t see you as a priority.

              7. Love Actually (2003)

                This is one of those romantic movies that follows the lives of a few people.

                We are reminded that everyone has the same chance of finding love–it doesn’t matter who you are, where you are from or what your circumstances may be. It’s all about being in the right place and the right time. Everyone deserves love and everyone has the possibility to find it.

                8. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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                  If someone is more interested in the other person’s status or money, it’s not real love. This has sadly become far too common with many people more in pursuit of what they can gain from a partner, as opposed to how that person makes them feel.

                  If someone truly loves you for you, the size of your bank balance, who you know or the material things they can benefit from being with you, will not matter.

                  9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

                    There is sometimes no greater pain than a heartbreak, and to some people, it may feel impossible to find a way out of that anguish.

                    Don’t force healing or deny yourself the grieving process. It is important to you give yourself the time that you need. Don’t try to find quick solutions such as partying or finding someone else immediately, as ultimately, these are just misguided ways to numb the pain. Pushing yourself too hard to get over someone often makes things worse. It should not be rushed–take as long as you need.

                    10. The Notebook (2004)

                      True love never forgets and will stand the test of time. And no matter what, it will keep fighting and being loyal till the end, irrespective of the circumstances. There are no obstacles that are too big or small when it comes to real love.

                      If you want to be further inspired by some REAL life love stories to remind you that true love does still exist, check out my other article here.

                      More by this author

                      J.S. von Dacre

                      Writer at Lifehack

                      Alert: If You Always Avoid Things You Fear, You May Have This Issue 10 Best Romance Movies That Reflect the Harsh Reality of Relationships Things Parents Do Unconsciously That Make Their Kids Become Codependent If You’re Overly Dependent, Probably It Is Due to the Scars of Childhood 90% of People Confuse Codependency with Intense Love. Are You One of Them?

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                      Last Updated on August 16, 2018

                      Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

                      Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

                      He asks you for your opinion, but only follows his own advice regardless of what you say.She loves to talk about herself, everything about her is just better than you.  When you try to share anything happy about yourself, she seriously doubts it.

                      If you know someone who acts like these examples, there’s a chance they might be a narcissist.

                      What is a narcissistic personality?

                      Narcissism is a spectrum personality disorder which most of us have.

                      In popular culture, narcissism is interpreted as a person who’s in love with themselves, more accurately, their idealized selves. Narcissists believe that they are too unique to be understood and that they are so good that they demand for admiration from others.

                      Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that,[1]

                      the narcissist is someone who has buried his true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self.

                      The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) describes narcissistic personality as a personality disorder. It is a spectrum disorder, which means it exists on a continuum ranging from some narcissistic traits to the full-blown personality disorder.[2]

                      Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not very common, but the truth is, we all have some of the narcissistic traits.

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                      Traits of a narcissist:

                      • They have a deep need for admiration and validation. They think they’re special and too unique to be understood.
                      • They feel they are superior to other. They achieve more and know a lot more than you.
                      • They do not show their vulnerabilities. They fear what others think of them and they want to remain superior in all situations.
                      • They are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. They want to be the centre of attention and believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
                      • They are skilled manipulators and are emotionally abusive. They know how to make use of their charm to take advantage of others to get what they want.

                      How are narcissists different from others?

                      Narcissism expert and the author of Narcissism in a Nutshell, Zari Ballard, tried to answer some common questions asked by non-narcissists about what a narcissist thinks and feels from a narcissist’s perspective.[3]

                      Do narcissists know they are narcissists and are they happy?

                      We could really care less about how others feel. We enjoy our so called cold existence. True narcissists don’t want to change. We feel in total control of our lives using this method.

                      Do narcissists know or understand right from wrong?

                      Narcissists know the difference between right and wrong because they understand cause and effect. There is no “guilty conscience” giving them a clue and they are displaying the symptom of being “indifferent to social norms” while most likely presenting as ‘cold-hearted.’

                      Narcissists have a very different thinking mechanism. They see things from a different perspective. Unlike non-narcissists and empaths, they don’t have much sympathy and are reluctant to show emotions to others.

                      Why do people become narcissists?

                      1. Narcissism is vulnerability taken to an extreme.

                      The root of a narcissistic personality is a strong resistance to feeling vulnerable with anyone.[4]

                      Narcissists refuse to put themselves in a position where they feel vulnerable. They fear that others will take advantage of their weaknesses, so they learn to camouflage their weaknesses by acting strong and powerful. The think showing emotions to others is a sign of weakness, so they learn to hide their emotions and act cold-hearted most of the times.

                      Narcissists live in a state of anxiety because they are highly aware of their emotions and how others think of them.

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                      Vulnerability aversion, is the root of a narcissistic personality.

                      2. A narcissistic personality could be a result of a wounded past.

                      Narcissists are desperate to seek validation constantly because they either didn’t feel worthwhile and valued in the past, or were being paid too much attention as the most precious and unique one in the world.

                      Faulty or inadequate parenting, for example a lack of limit setting, is believed to be a major cause, and both permissive and authoritarian styles of parenting have been found to promote narcissistic symptoms.[5]

                      Both parents who fail to see the worth in a child, and parents who spoil and give excessive praise to the child promote narcissism as the child grows. While the former ones make the child feel inferior of others and want to get more attention, the latter ones encourage an idealized-self in the child.

                      How to deal with a narcissist?

                      1. If someone close to you is a narcissist, embrace the differences.

                      There’re different personality types and not everyone will think and act the same as you do. Instead of trying to change others, learn to accept the differences and strike a balance when you really have to communicate with them.

                      2. Don’t try to change them, focus on your own needs.

                      Try to understand that narcissists are resistant to change, it’s more important for you to see who they really are, instead of who you want them to be. Focus on how you feel, and what you want yourself to be.

                      Embrace the fact that there’re different types of personality and the only thing you can control is your attitude and your own actions.

                      3. Recognize what they do only comes from their insecurity.

                      Narcissists are quite vulnerable deep inside, they question others because that’s how they can make themselves feel better.

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                      When you learn that what a narcissist does to you is nothing personal, but something that comes from their insecurity, you know that sometimes they just need a certain amount of reassurance.

                      This is especially important if the narcissist is someone you have to closely work with, or if they’re your family member. The right amount of reassurance can calm them down and get the tasks on hand completed.

                      4. Ask them what would others think instead of what’d others feel.[6]

                      Narcissists don’t feel guilty, but they care about how others think of them deep in their heart.

                      Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein explains:

                      There are just things, like other people’s feelings, that narcissists rarely consider. If you have their ear, don’t tell them how people might react; instead, ask probing questions. Narcissists are much more likely to act on ideas that they think they thought up themselves.

                      If you have to work with a narcissist closely, focus on the facts and ideas, not the emotions.

                      5. Let go of the need of getting a narcissist’s approval.

                      You’re not who a narcissist says you are. Don’t let their blame game undermine your self-esteem, and don’t argue with them just to defend what you believe is right.

                      There is no point arguing with a narcissist just to prove them wrong because they will not give in proving themselves right. It’s more likely that you’ll get more upset when they disagree with you in an unpleasant way.

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                      Know your own worth and detach from a narcissist’s opinion on you.

                      6. If a narcissist is hurting you, stay away from them.

                      Remember, a healthy relationship is two-sided. It’s about mutual respect and it’s based on give and take. But any kind of relationship with a narcissist is likely to be the contrary, it’s about making the narcissist happy and constantly supporting them. A relationship like this will only weigh you down and is unhealthy for your growth.

                      7. Set a boundary and always keep it.

                      If you’re setting a boundary, you have to be willing to keep it. When a narcissist sees that you’re trying to take back control of your life, they will try to test your limits, it’s just their instinct to do it.

                      Be prepared that your boundary will be challenged. Make your boundary clear, have all the actions needed to be taken in your mind.

                      For example, if you have decided to stop communicating with them, they will likely to show up in front of you just to talk to you. Be brave enough to keep your boundary, don’t back down and get close to them again; or else they will not take your boundary seriously any more.

                      8. Learn when to walk away.

                      When a narcissist starts to make you feel uncomfortable and doubt about yourself, it’s time to pick yourself up and give yourself enough respect to just walk away from them.

                      If you’re in love with a narcissist, you should seriously think about ending the relationship and move on for a better life. If the narcissist is your family member, you don’t have to be cruel to them, but it’s better to keep distance from them.

                      Reference

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