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10 Best Romance Movies That Reflect the Harsh Reality of Relationships

10 Best Romance Movies That Reflect the Harsh Reality of Relationships

A lot of people love romantic movies. They provide the ultimate escapism and feel-good factor when the forces of love triumphs. Most of the times, the reason why it has such an impact on us is because of the message it brings–a message of hope. Many can relate to sitting in front of a screen with loved ones–whether at home or in the cinema, and feeling teary eyed when that moment comes up which has the power to tug on heartstrings.

The best romantic movies do not just act as entertainment, but in fact, can actually teach us important lessons of life, love and relationships. Here are 10 romantic movies and what they taught us

1. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

    Life is sometimes difficult and we can feel like we are trapped in a situation where there is no escape. But the beauty is its unpredictability as well as the people who can come into our lives when we least expect it.

    Be open to the unexpected happening. Even though you may be struggling with demons of your own, you never know who may wander into your life when you are least expecting it. Stop looking for love and let love find you.

    2. One Day (2011)

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      This is one of those romantic movies that teaches us about the importance of friendship in a relationship. Your significant other should also be your friend. And like any good friend, they should know all your good and bad points but still love you any way.

      Even if you do not end up dating your best friend, be with someone who will ultimately be one of your closest companions and someone you can rely on–no matter what.

      3. Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

        Love sometimes catches us off-guard and we fall in love with the person we may least expect.

        Don’t judge a book by its cover. There are sometimes connections we have with people that we may never have envisioned. Physical chemistry is important, but it is even more important that they can connect with you on other levels.

        4. What’s Your Number? (2011)

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          Stop focusing on the past. There is a reason why people didn’t make to your present. If you are single (and single for a while) you may feel nostalgic and wonder “what if” about failed relationships. But remember, if those relationships were right, they would have worked out. So the fact is, one of you was a wrong match for the other person.

          Open yourself to welcoming new people and opportunities into your life.

          5. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

            Don’t change who you are. If the person is right for you, they will appreciate all those things that make you different–even the things that make you uncool to everyone else.

            The right one will love you just the way you are–and they will love you even more for your flaws and quirky bits.

            6. He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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              Don’t wait around for someone who doesn’t behave like they want to be with you. If you find yourself always making excuses or justifying someone’s absence or lack of attention, the reality is that they are probably just not that into you. It may hurt to accept this, but taking the first step to recognizing this will be the first step to breaking free from that hurt.

              Don’t allow yourself to be nothing more than an option for someone who doesn’t see you as a priority.

              7. Love Actually (2003)

                This is one of those romantic movies that follows the lives of a few people.

                We are reminded that everyone has the same chance of finding love–it doesn’t matter who you are, where you are from or what your circumstances may be. It’s all about being in the right place and the right time. Everyone deserves love and everyone has the possibility to find it.

                8. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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                  If someone is more interested in the other person’s status or money, it’s not real love. This has sadly become far too common with many people more in pursuit of what they can gain from a partner, as opposed to how that person makes them feel.

                  If someone truly loves you for you, the size of your bank balance, who you know or the material things they can benefit from being with you, will not matter.

                  9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

                    There is sometimes no greater pain than a heartbreak, and to some people, it may feel impossible to find a way out of that anguish.

                    Don’t force healing or deny yourself the grieving process. It is important to you give yourself the time that you need. Don’t try to find quick solutions such as partying or finding someone else immediately, as ultimately, these are just misguided ways to numb the pain. Pushing yourself too hard to get over someone often makes things worse. It should not be rushed–take as long as you need.

                    10. The Notebook (2004)

                      True love never forgets and will stand the test of time. And no matter what, it will keep fighting and being loyal till the end, irrespective of the circumstances. There are no obstacles that are too big or small when it comes to real love.

                      If you want to be further inspired by some REAL life love stories to remind you that true love does still exist, check out my other article here.

                      More by this author

                      J.S. von Dacre

                      Writer at Lifehack

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                      Last Updated on September 11, 2020

                      Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

                      Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

                      No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

                      People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

                      But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

                      If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

                      Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

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                      Pain Is Our Guardian

                      Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

                      In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

                      Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

                      While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

                      Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

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                      No Pain, No Happiness

                      You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

                      In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

                      In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

                      This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

                      Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

                      Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

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                      This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

                      Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

                      Allow Room for the Inevitable

                      Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

                      Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

                      “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

                      Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

                      The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

                      While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

                      Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

                      Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

                      To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

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                      You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

                      Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

                      Reference

                      [1] University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
                      [2] Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

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