Advertising
Advertising

How to Spot out True Friends in a World Full of Fake People

How to Spot out True Friends in a World Full of Fake People

We face tons of responsibility in life. Study. Work. Family. In face of the stress from life, a good friend is like a refuge during a storm. However, not all friends are reliable, only the TRUE ones deserve our trust.

This article defines what a true friendship means, and how a fake friendship can destroy a person. It will help you reflect on your current friend circle, and help you squeeze the juice out of friendship.

Advertising

What True Friendship Means

How REAL Friends Are Different From FAKE Friends

It can be hard to distinguish good friends from bad friends. This article will help you figure out if your friends are real or fake ones.

Things True Friends Never Do

It is hard to stay clear-minded in any relationship, friendship included. Even when our friends do wrong to us, we find excuses for them. But after all, we ought to be honest to ourselves, and ask “Do my friends really value our friendship?”

Advertising

The Love Embedded in Every True Friendship

The famous writer, Elbert Hubbard, once said: “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” Are you feeling love from your friends? This article reveals the relationship between love and friendship.

How to Recognize Friends Who Help You Grow

The Friends You Need to Keep You Growing

Science does say that people without friends die sooner, while people who acquire meaningful friendship do get healthier. This article displays 8 types of people that are going to help you “stay away from the doctor”.

Advertising

The Only 4 Types of Friends that Make Your Life Meaningful

You’re the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. This article provides a helpful benchmark to check if a friendship is fruitful or not.

How to Avoid Friendships that Harm You

Warning Signs of a Toxic Friend

Do your friends find you only when they need you, or lose temper easily? These are signs of a harmful friendship. This article displays the red flags of a harmful friendship through gorgeous illustrations.

Advertising

10 Types of Toxic Friends Everyone Should be Careful Of

The liars. The gossipers. We all know these people are dangerous. But there are other types of people we should be careful of. This article tells you about the 10 types of toxic friends we ought to keep an eye on.

Hidden Damages That Hurtful Friendships Do to You

Sometimes, we may not be aware of the damages bad friendships are doing to us. But a harmful friendship does undermine our value. This article tells how hurtful friendships can slowly destroy you.

More by this author

Chris Cheung

Editorial Intern, Lifehack

How to Answer Behavioral Based Interview Questions Smartly How to Spot out True Friends in a World Full of Fake People What Are 4 Core Leadership Theories And How To Apply At Work Why You’re Not Incapable, You’re Just Burning Out How To Negotiate Salary Skilfully Without Being Pushy

Trending in Psychology

1 Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering 2 How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful 3 How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind 4 How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected 5 8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 19, 2019

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

Advertising

Pain Is Our Guardian

Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

Advertising

No Pain, No Happiness

You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

Advertising

This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

Allow Room for the Inevitable

Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

Advertising

You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1] University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
[2] Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

Read Next