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Is It Normal to Feel Jealous of Your Good Friends? Yes but You Can Reduce It by Learning These

Is It Normal to Feel Jealous of Your Good Friends? Yes but You Can Reduce It by Learning These

I could literally feel my friend’s jealousy seething through my Facebook feed.

After posting a status update of myself sipping from a freshly picked coconut on the beach in Fiji I noted how a few “I *really* hate you now”, casual comments on my wall reflected something much deeper.

Intense jealousy.

I have been on the other side of the fence. Having 4 cents and being $70,000 in debt nearly a decade ago I secretly despised the fact that some good buddies of mine were living their dreams.

Feeling jealous of your close friend’s success is normal but you need to keep it in check before it grows into a raging beast that affects your happiness.

Why Does It Feel Hellishly Difficult Not to Be Jealous of Good Friends?

You grew up together. Same circumstances. Same life in most cases.

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If someone seems to break away from the herd to live their wildest dreams or to simply challenge the status quo you are forced to assess why you haven’t made the same bold, freeing moves in your life.

This type of self-analysis is highly uncomfortable because it requires you to dive into your fears.

Feeling jealous of your friend’s success is simply you resisting your deep, intense fear of breaking free from the herd. Most folks respond to their deep fears with a “It’s totally not fair that they have that and I don’t!” type envy versus taking practical, simple steps to dissolve some of this jealousy to be happier and healthier.

Why You Need to Dial Down Jealousy

If you obsess over feeling terribly jealous of good friends you can never have what they have.

But if you reframe this energy you can replace your envy with inspiration.

Christie Aschwanden of the Huffington Post [1] explains how the concept of benign envy can help you be happi er with your own life.

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Stop being jealous of your buddies’ success. Start living your dream life with these practical tips.

Ponder Things You Don’t Envy about Your Friend’s Lives

You may want to squeeze chop sticks under my fingernails after seeing my beach selfies in Bali but are you also jealous of the fact that I’m brainstorming this post at midnight on a Friday night?

Or that I declared bankruptcy and sold nearly everything I owned at the start of my blogging journey?

You will feel less jealous of your friends when you consider “the rest of the story”.

Every successful person you envy had to work long and hard to become successful. These people had to dive into their deepest fears regularly to live their dreams.

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Before you envy someone’s success think about their failures, struggles and all the hard work they put into living their dreams. You won’t feel as jealous of their wins when you understand what they had to do to reach their goals.

You may even turn your jealousy into genuine admiration.

Build a Gratitude List in the Morning

Speak it. Write it. However you dice it, building a gratitude list moves your attention from what you don’t have to what you do have. This helps you feel more whole and complete. How can you feel jealous of your good friends when you feel content with your blessings?

Thinking of things to be grateful for on waking sets a fabulous energetic tone for your day.

Press the Jealousy Rewind Button

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During my lean years I recall feeling hyper jealous of my successful friends. I vividly remember one episode where I couldn’t chip in to buy a pizza because I had no money in my wallet.

My friends said the pizza was on them. I felt like a charity case, shamelessly scarfing down a piece of pie, feeling like a total loser.

I needed to relive this experience in my imagination to clear deeply held jealous feelings I directed towards friends and family. Like any emotion, jealousy vanishes when you are present with the feeling of being intensely jealous. As the feeling vanishes you become less jealous.

Find a quiet room. Relax your body and mind. Press the jealous rewind button by recalling experiences with friends which brought up feelings of envy. Feel the emotions. Grab a pillow to punch or cry into if strong energies arise.

Clearing jealous feelings from the past helps you frame your friend’s success from a healthier, balanced space.

Reference

More by this author

Ryan Biddulph

Blogger and World Traveler at Blogging From Paradise

jealousy Is It Normal to Feel Jealous of Your Good Friends? Yes but You Can Reduce It by Learning These

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Last Updated on March 17, 2020

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

Are you bored at work right now?

Sitting at your desk, wishing you could be anywhere other than here, doing anything else…?

You’re not alone.

Even when you have a job you love, it’s easy to get bored. And if your job isn’t something you’re passionate about, it’s even easier for boredom to creep in.

Did you know it’s actually possible to make any job more interesting?

That’s right.

Whether it’s data entry or shelf stacking, even the most mind-numbing of jobs can be made more fun.

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Understanding the science behind boredom is the first step to beating it.

Read on to learn the truth about boredom, and what you can do to stop feeling bored at work for good.

VIDEO SUMMARY

I’m bored – as you’re watching the same film over and over again, even though it’s your favorite one

When you experience something new, your brain releases opioids – chemicals which make you feel good. [1]

It’s the feeling you might get when you taste a new food for the first time, watch a cool new film, or meet a new person.

However, the next time you have the same experience, the brain processes it in a different way, without releasing so many feel-good chemicals.

That’s why you won’t get the same thrill when you eat that delicious meal for the tenth time, rewatch that film again, or spend time with the same friend.

So, in a nutshell, we get bored when we aren’t having any new experiences.

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Now, new experiences don’t have to be huge life changes – they could be as simple as taking a different route to work, or picking a different sandwich shop for lunch.

We’re going to apply this theory to your boring job.

Keep reading find out how to make subtle changes to the way you work to defeat boredom and have more fun.

Your work can be much more interesting if you learn these little tricks.

Ready to learn how to stop feeling so bored at work?

We’ve listed some simple suggestions below – you can start implementing these right now.

Let’s do this.

Make routine tasks more interesting by adding something new

Sometimes one new element is all it takes to turn routine tasks from dull to interesting.

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Maybe there’s a long drive you have to make every single week. You get so bored, going the same old route to make the same old deliveries.

Why not make it a routine to create a playlist of new music each Sunday, to listen to on your boring drive during the week?

Just like that, something you dread can be turned into the highlight of your day.

For other routine tasks, you could try setting a timer and trying to beat your record, moving to a new location to complete the task, or trying out a new technique for getting the work done – you might even improve your productivity, too.

Combine repetitive tasks to get them out of the way

Certain tasks are difficult to make interesting, no matter how hard you try.

Get these yawn-inducing chores out of the way ASAP by combining them into one quick, focused batch.

For example, if you hate listening to meeting recordings, and dislike tidying your desk, do them both at the same time. You’ll halve the time you spend bored out of your mind, and can move onto more interesting tasks as soon as you’re done.

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Break large tasks into small pieces and plan breaks between them

Feeling overwhelmed can lead you to procrastinate and get bored. Try breaking up large tasks into lots of small pieces to keep things manageable and fun.

Try breaking up a 10,000 word report into 1000-word sections. Reward yourself at the end of each section, and you’ll get 10 mini mood boosts, instead of just one at the end.

You can also plan short breaks between each section, which will help to prevent boredom and keep you focused.

Give yourself regular rewards, it can be anything that makes you feel good

Make sure you reward yourself for achievements, even if they feel small.

Rewards could include:

  • Eating your favourite snack.
  • Taking a walk in a natural area.
  • Spending a few minutes on a fun online game.
  • Buying yourself a small treat.
  • Visiting a new place.
  • Spending time on a favourite hobby.

Your brain will come to associate work with fun rewards, and you’ll soon feel less bored and more motivated.

Boredom doesn’t have to be a fact of life.

Make your working life feel a thousand times more fun by following the simple tips above.

Reference

[1] Psychology Today: Why People Get Bored

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