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Is It Normal to Feel Jealous of Your Good Friends? Yes but You Can Reduce It by Learning These

Is It Normal to Feel Jealous of Your Good Friends? Yes but You Can Reduce It by Learning These

I could literally feel my friend’s jealousy seething through my Facebook feed.

After posting a status update of myself sipping from a freshly picked coconut on the beach in Fiji I noted how a few “I *really* hate you now”, casual comments on my wall reflected something much deeper.

Intense jealousy.

I have been on the other side of the fence. Having 4 cents and being $70,000 in debt nearly a decade ago I secretly despised the fact that some good buddies of mine were living their dreams.

Feeling jealous of your close friend’s success is normal but you need to keep it in check before it grows into a raging beast that affects your happiness.

Why Does It Feel Hellishly Difficult Not to Be Jealous of Good Friends?

You grew up together. Same circumstances. Same life in most cases.

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If someone seems to break away from the herd to live their wildest dreams or to simply challenge the status quo you are forced to assess why you haven’t made the same bold, freeing moves in your life.

This type of self-analysis is highly uncomfortable because it requires you to dive into your fears.

Feeling jealous of your friend’s success is simply you resisting your deep, intense fear of breaking free from the herd. Most folks respond to their deep fears with a “It’s totally not fair that they have that and I don’t!” type envy versus taking practical, simple steps to dissolve some of this jealousy to be happier and healthier.

Why You Need to Dial Down Jealousy

If you obsess over feeling terribly jealous of good friends you can never have what they have.

But if you reframe this energy you can replace your envy with inspiration.

Christie Aschwanden of the Huffington Post [1] explains how the concept of benign envy can help you be happi er with your own life.

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Stop being jealous of your buddies’ success. Start living your dream life with these practical tips.

Ponder Things You Don’t Envy about Your Friend’s Lives

You may want to squeeze chop sticks under my fingernails after seeing my beach selfies in Bali but are you also jealous of the fact that I’m brainstorming this post at midnight on a Friday night?

Or that I declared bankruptcy and sold nearly everything I owned at the start of my blogging journey?

You will feel less jealous of your friends when you consider “the rest of the story”.

Every successful person you envy had to work long and hard to become successful. These people had to dive into their deepest fears regularly to live their dreams.

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Before you envy someone’s success think about their failures, struggles and all the hard work they put into living their dreams. You won’t feel as jealous of their wins when you understand what they had to do to reach their goals.

You may even turn your jealousy into genuine admiration.

Build a Gratitude List in the Morning

Speak it. Write it. However you dice it, building a gratitude list moves your attention from what you don’t have to what you do have. This helps you feel more whole and complete. How can you feel jealous of your good friends when you feel content with your blessings?

Thinking of things to be grateful for on waking sets a fabulous energetic tone for your day.

Press the Jealousy Rewind Button

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During my lean years I recall feeling hyper jealous of my successful friends. I vividly remember one episode where I couldn’t chip in to buy a pizza because I had no money in my wallet.

My friends said the pizza was on them. I felt like a charity case, shamelessly scarfing down a piece of pie, feeling like a total loser.

I needed to relive this experience in my imagination to clear deeply held jealous feelings I directed towards friends and family. Like any emotion, jealousy vanishes when you are present with the feeling of being intensely jealous. As the feeling vanishes you become less jealous.

Find a quiet room. Relax your body and mind. Press the jealous rewind button by recalling experiences with friends which brought up feelings of envy. Feel the emotions. Grab a pillow to punch or cry into if strong energies arise.

Clearing jealous feelings from the past helps you frame your friend’s success from a healthier, balanced space.

Reference

More by this author

Ryan Biddulph

Blogger and World Traveler at Blogging From Paradise

jealousy Is It Normal to Feel Jealous of Your Good Friends? Yes but You Can Reduce It by Learning These

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

Dreams — Mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and sometimes a nightmarish living hell. Dreams are all that and much more.

Here are 20 amazing facts about dreams that you might have never heard about:

Fact #1: You can’t read while dreaming, or tell the time

    If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something. The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams.

    The same goes for clocks: each time you look at a clock it will tell a different time and the hands on the clock won’t appear to be moving as reported by lucid dreamers.

    Fact #2: Lucid dreaming

    There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.

    Want to learn how to control your dreams? You can try these tips:

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    Lucid Dreaming: This Is How You Can Control Your Dreams

    Fact #3: Inventions inspired by dreams

    Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind. A few examples include:

    • The idea for Google -Larry Page
    • Alternating current generator -Tesla
    • DNA’s double helix spiral form -James Watson
    • The sewing machine -Elias Howe
    • Periodic table -Dimitri Mendeleyev

    …and many, many more.

    Fact #4: Premonition dreams

    There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about.

    You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence. The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:

    • Abraham Lincoln dreamt of His Assassination
    • Many of the victims of 9/11 had dreams warning them about the catastrophe
    • Mark Twain’s dream of his brother’s demise
    • 19 verified precognitive dreams about the Titanic catastrophe

    Fact #5: Sleep paralysis

    Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. It’s the stuff of true nightmares. I’ve been a sleep paralysis sufferer as a kid and I can attest to how truly horrible it is.

    Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move (hence paralysis) and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. It doesn’t feel like a dream, but 100% real. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” instinct and the emotions of fear, terror and anxiety. Enough said!

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    Fact #6: REM sleep disorder

    In the state of REM (rapid-eye-movement) stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed. In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down.

    Fact #7: Sexual dreams

    The very scientifically-named “nocturnal penile tumescence” is a very well documented phenomena. In laymen’s term, it simply means that you get a stiffy while you sleep. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream.

    Fact #8: Unbelievable sleepwalkers

      Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. It is an extreme form of REM sleep disorder, and these people don’t just act out their dreams, but go on real adventures at night.

      Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist. Literally. He “sleepdraws” gorgeous portraits, of which he has no recollection afterwards. Strange sleepwalking “adventures” include:

      • A woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking
      • A man who drove 22 miles and killed his cousin while sleepwalking
      • A sleepwalker who walked out of the window from the third floor, and barely survived

      Fact #9: Dream drug

      There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming.

      Fact #10 Dream-catcher

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        The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.

        Fact #11: Increased brain activity

        You would associate sleeping with peace and quiet, but actually our brains are more active during sleep than during the day.

        Fact #12: Creativity and dreams

        As we mentioned before, dreams are responsible for inventions, great artworks and are generally just incredibly interesting. They are also “recharging” our creativity.

        Scientists also say that keeping a dream diary helps with creativity.

        In rare cases of REM disorder, people actually don’t dream at all. These people suffer from significantly decreased creativity and perform badly at tasks requiring creative problem solving.

        Fact #13: Pets dream too

          Our animal companions dream as well. Watch a dog or a cat sleep and you can see that they are moving their paws and making noises like they were chasing something. Go get ’em buddy!

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          Fact #14: You always dream—you just don’t remember it

          Many people claim that they don’t dream at all, but that’s not true: we all dream, but up to 60% of people don’t remember their dreams at all.

          Fact #15: Blind people dream too

          Blind people who were not born blind see images in their dreams but people who were born blind don’t see anything at all. They still dream, and their dreams are just as intense and interesting, but they involve the other senses beside sight.

          Fact #16: In your dreams, you only see faces that you already know

            It is proven that in dreams, we can only see faces that we have seen in real life before. So beware: that scary-looking old lady next to you on the bus might as well be in your next nightmare.

            Fact #17: Dreams tend to be negative

            Surprisingly, dreams are more often negative than positive. The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear.

            Fact #18: Multiple dreams per night

            You can have up to seven different dreams per night depending on how many REM cycles you have. We only dream during the REM period of sleep, and the average person dreams one to two hours every night.

            Fact #19: Gender differences

            Interestingly, 70% of all the characters in a man’s dream are other men, but women’s dream contain an equal amount of women and men. Also men’s dreams contain a lot more aggression. Both women and men dream about sexual themes equally often.

            Fact #20: Not everyone dreams in color

            As much as 12% of people only dream in black and white.

            Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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