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To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work, the First Thing Is to Overcome Jealousy

To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work, the First Thing Is to Overcome Jealousy

There’s that moment—that flash of jealousy you can’t control when you hear that your significant other (SO) has been spending time with someone else—and you’re hundreds or thousands of miles away. It’s a totally normal feeling, but it can ruin meaningful relationships if it gets out of hand.

When you’re dealing with jealousy in a long distance relationship (LDR), it doesn’t just negatively impact your relationship, it can also affect your everyday life. You may start to feel resentful of your partner, angry at the people around them who get to spend time with them, and you’ll be focusing on those emotions instead of work, school, or your other relationships.

Jealously in a LDR can be difficult to solve, because there are communication barriers involved, and you can’t see what’s really happening or feel any sense of control over the situation.

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Even though it may be a challenge to overcome jealousy in a LDR, it’s essential to do so if the relationship is going to last until you can be together again. Being consistently jealous isn’t good for your emotional or physical well-being, and jealousy can erode trust between you and your partner.

The good news? There are some strategies you can use to help overcome jealousy and maintain a fulfilling long distance relationship. Here are a few ways to get started on your path to a healthier, happier LDR[1] and let go of jealousy.

Comparison is always toxic

When jealousy does come up, stop reading into every little thing. Don’t compare yourself[2]to other people who may be involved in the situation. Instead, consider why these feelings are coming up.

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Is there a trust issue in the relationship? Has your partner repeatedly engaged in behavior that makes you uncomfortable?

When you start feeling jealous, it’s important to take a step back and think about the real problem. In some cases, it may just be your tendency to experience jealousy, which is something you’ll want to work on—use it to challenge yourself and make positive changes. In other cases, it may be a sign that something isn’t quite right in the relationship.

Remember both of you are imperfect and are going to have bad days

You’re not perfect, and neither is your SO. You’re both going to have bad days, and it’s not realistic to think that you can get rid of jealousy altogether. Forgive yourself for those feelings, and then work on them.

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Use some of the strategies you’ve learned, and examine why you’re feeling jealous—and how you can react in a healthy way. Success isn’t about always controlling your emotions—it’s sometimes about controlling your reactions so you don’t make the situation worse.

Schedule Time for Deep Connection

We all have busy lives, and it’s much easier to make time for our partners when they’re nearby. In LDRs, it’s all too common to have conflicting schedules and not make the time to fully communicate.

However, strong relationships need nurturing, whether that’s through phone calls, Skype dates, or in-person visits. With the ongoing progress in virtual reality[3], you may even be able to be (virtually) in the same room one day! Overcoming jealousy involves at lot of work on both your part and your partner’s, but new technology tools make it easier than ever to make time for one another—you can even go on a walk[4] together with FaceTime!

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Ongoing virtual communication and attention is important, but it’s also important to make a schedule for in-person visits (or at least some ground rules). That gives you both something to look forward to, and makes being apart a little easier.

Do the Things That Help You Keep Calm and Relaxed

When it comes to overcoming jealous feelings, anxiety can really sabotage your progress. Remaining calm is a great way to help overcome jealousy—and it will improve your overall well-being as well! Staying calm is easier said than done, so you’ll need to make use of both long term and short term methods to achieve a relaxed and calm attitude.

You can start off with simple methods like deep breathing and stress balls, but you’ll also want to incorporate other methods into your life. Yoga and other forms of exercise will improve your mood and give you a self-confidence boost, while meditation and acupuncture[5] can help you calm down and look at the world with more gratitude and relaxation.

Overcoming jealousy in an LDR is always a work in progress, but it can help you develop a deep and lasting relationship with your SO!

Reference

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Last Updated on February 1, 2019

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

Self awareness can be defined as having a clear understanding of your personality, including your beliefs, emotions, motivation, strengths and weaknesses.

A 2010 study by Green Peak Partners and Cornell’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations found that self awareness is a key and common characteristic of successful leaders. [1]

And research[2] by the Driehaus College of Business at De Paul University has also demonstrated that high self awareness leads to improved team performance.

Self Awareness Makes You Improve Much Faster Than the Others

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.” – Ralicoph Waldo Emerson

Self awareness allows us to understand who we are, and how others see us. From this, we can determine how similar or different we are to other people.

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Individuals with high self awareness tend to live happier and more fulfilling lives. That’s because being self aware brings several powerful benefits, including:

  • Finding and expressing your authentic self.
  • Being proactive, instead of reactive.
  • Enjoying positive and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
  • Having deeper thoughts.
  • Revealing your true purpose.

One secret behind the magic of self awareness, is the fact that being self aware allows you to see your weaknesses. Once you know what they are, you can then act accordingly to fix them (where possible).

As an example, think back to a time when you achieved a major success in your life. Your confidence jumped off the scale, and suddenly, everything in your life began to look rosy. However, success was fleeting, and before long you were not only back where you started – but had lost your initial faith and confidence too.

Instead of seeing this as bad luck or personal failure, the better response would be to analyze exactly what happened.

What caused your success? What caused your failure? And what could you have done differently?

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By answering these questions, you’ll gain insight into your decision making and personality traits. Most importantly, you’ll be able to discover where you went wrong, and how you could avoid this next time around. This is how self awareness becomes a crucial partner in reaching your dreams and goals.

How to Increase Your Self Awareness

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” – Lao-Tze

Okay, you’ve now seen some of the ways that self awareness can boost your success in life. (And we’ve only scratched the surface of potential benefits.)

It’s now time to reveal several tips and techniques that will increase your self awareness.

Take a psychometric test: You’ll understand more about yourself

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Psychometric tests are ideal for raising your self awareness. The tests force you to think deeply about yourself, and how your react to different situations. Self reflection = Self awareness. Try this free, 100-question psychometric test offered by the University of Cambridge.

Keep a personal journal: It can reduce anxiety and depression at the same time

Writing a daily journal can be a great tool for increasing your self awareness. If your writing is honest and open, you’ll quickly discover things about yourself that you’d never previously realised. You’ll also begin to see how habits create your conditions. For self awareness purposes, your daily journal should (at the very least) list your biggest failures and greatest successes of the day. Science supports the effectiveness of journalism, with a recent Psychotherapy Research study[3] showing that writing a daily journal reduced anxiety and depression.

Learn to meditate: To clear your thoughts

If you’ve never tried meditating before, then you should definitely consider trying it, if you want to boost your self awareness. Meditation can help you to delve below the incessant chatter of your conscious mind, and instead, let you tap into the depths of your subconscious mind. As well as boosting your well-being and health, meditation can clear your thoughts, and help you to become more creative.[4]

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How to get started? There are plenty of books and videos that can teach you the basics of meditation. Alternatively, you’ll be sure to find mediation classes in your local area.

Ask for feedback: You’ll be amazed

Choose a close family member or friend who knows you well. Ask then to give you an honest appraisal of your actions, beliefs and motivations. You’ll be amazed (and possibly shocked!) at what you hear. In fact, it’s likely that you’ll gain a completely new perspective on yourself. Use this new knowledge to make positive changes that could increase your effectiveness and success in life.

Through boosting your self awareness, you’ll begin to see new, exciting opportunities for growth and success. You’ll also learn how others see you. This will help your interpersonal relationships – as well as your ability to read others.

Self awareness can help you predict the success of others. It can also help you predict your own success.

So, choose to follow in the footsteps of the highly-successful, and start developing your self awareness today.

Reference

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