Advertising
Advertising

Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It

Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It

Jealousy and uncertainty can wreak havoc on any relationship. These toxic emotions create toxic relationships and can sap you of any chance of living a life you’ve always desired for.

Your life may be abundant of people who are reducing your energy due to an incurable case of jealousy.

Even on social media, you will find lots of people talking about the same topic and sharing quotes about relationships.

Whether it’s a page on Facebook, or any other social network, people do share their emotions and how they deal with it.

Advertising

How can you tell if your partner has an extreme case of jealousy?

These are a few ways to tell if your partner has a severe case of jealousy that could weaken you in your relationships.

Signs of excessive jealousy in a relationship

  • Show you how to dress; act, wear your hair, etc.
  • Overly concerned about the venue of your socializing activities;
  • Follow you around (even to the grocery stores!);
  • Intervene your social systems;
  • Call you excessively to know your location;
  • Be too serious about everything;
  • Struggle to communicate openly with you;
  • Do not see the goods in you and do things that make you feel small;
  • Have a negative standpoint and poor self-esteem and lack of confidence;
  • Be proactive in domestic arrangements;
  • Be aggressive and have biased view over some minor details

One of the most difficult thing for women to notice in a man is to confuse attributes like confidence, determination, persistence and ambition with aggressive behavior due to a lack of trust. When a man depicts tenacity due to insecurity and jealousy, it can become a recipe for failure in the relationship step. In the dating stage, this person looks charming and charismatic. Still, once a relationship is established this person begins having some negative thoughts that they will lose their partner following that THEY BELIEVE in and of themselves that they don’t merit to be loved.

Confronting the Jealous Partner

Before you decide to face the jealous partner [1], you must determine whether or not the relationship is salvageable. You may do this some ways, but I will suggest some of the articles here! Myself, I have found that recharging myself and reconnecting with my intentions is a good way to get to the root of me. Once I do that, I can easily distinguish those individuals that care about my goals and dreams.

Advertising

Then once I know that I can pull out people that have the latent to support me and those that I can control out. For the right partners have a conversation with them that provides valuable feedback and criticism. This review can reveal in detail how what they say makes you feel.

The Five Steps to Confronting your Partner

1. Slowly walk your partner through the issue

Set the Scene – (Be positive) “Let’s honor, rekindle and reconnect in our relationship, and I would like to be truthful, honest and forthright with you ” I don’t want to start out saying, “You have a problem/You know what your problem is what is wrong with you.”

2. Communicate honestly about how you feel because of his actions

Advertising

Explain how you feel – When you do/say, it makes me feel..

3. Ask for possibility of changes of his actions

Ask – Would you be ready to stop saying/acting/doing?

4. Listen to his response, evaluate and plan the next move

Advertising

Listen – Listen to their reply and try to detect or determine sincerity. A serious answer will be one that understands your feelings and your guts to say something. If the other person objects, transfers blame to you or pokes fun/examines you, then consider that person a chump and disassociate yourself or remain in a toxic relationship

5. Acknowledge and be grateful to his change OR reaffirm your needs and leave

Review and then reaffirm – Repeat their response and acknowledge you heard them and repeated your concern and outcomes. For instance, “I’m glad you are willing to change your behavior towards me which makes me feel good. OR if they continue destructive behavior say “I’m sorry that we will not be able to come to an understanding. “Since this impacts my feelings and is critical to me and you seem to disagree, I think maintaining this relationship is not supportive and not a development environment for me, and I have to part ways.”

Reference

More by this author

Hardt Article

Freelance Writer

Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It Defense Mechanism: How Does Your Body React To Things That Do Not Happen As You Wish Advantages Of Electric Toothbrushes 5 Benefits Of Hiring An SEO Expert All you need to know about climate-controlled storage units

Trending in Psychology

1 Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering 2 How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind 3 How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected 4 8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies 5 20 Things Only Parents Of Children With Dyslexia Would Understand

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 6, 2019

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

Advertising

Pain Is Our Guardian

Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

Advertising

No Pain, No Happiness

You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

Advertising

This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

Allow Room for the Inevitable

Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

Advertising

You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
[2]Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

Read Next