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Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It

Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It

Jealousy and uncertainty can wreak havoc on any relationship. These toxic emotions create toxic relationships and can sap you of any chance of living a life you’ve always desired for.

Your life may be abundant of people who are reducing your energy due to an incurable case of jealousy.

Even on social media, you will find lots of people talking about the same topic and sharing quotes about relationships.

Whether it’s a page on Facebook, or any other social network, people do share their emotions and how they deal with it.

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How can you tell if your partner has an extreme case of jealousy?

These are a few ways to tell if your partner has a severe case of jealousy that could weaken you in your relationships.

Signs of excessive jealousy in a relationship

  • Show you how to dress; act, wear your hair, etc.
  • Overly concerned about the venue of your socializing activities;
  • Follow you around (even to the grocery stores!);
  • Intervene your social systems;
  • Call you excessively to know your location;
  • Be too serious about everything;
  • Struggle to communicate openly with you;
  • Do not see the goods in you and do things that make you feel small;
  • Have a negative standpoint and poor self-esteem and lack of confidence;
  • Be proactive in domestic arrangements;
  • Be aggressive and have biased view over some minor details

One of the most difficult thing for women to notice in a man is to confuse attributes like confidence, determination, persistence and ambition with aggressive behavior due to a lack of trust. When a man depicts tenacity due to insecurity and jealousy, it can become a recipe for failure in the relationship step. In the dating stage, this person looks charming and charismatic. Still, once a relationship is established this person begins having some negative thoughts that they will lose their partner following that THEY BELIEVE in and of themselves that they don’t merit to be loved.

Confronting the Jealous Partner

Before you decide to face the jealous partner [1], you must determine whether or not the relationship is salvageable. You may do this some ways, but I will suggest some of the articles here! Myself, I have found that recharging myself and reconnecting with my intentions is a good way to get to the root of me. Once I do that, I can easily distinguish those individuals that care about my goals and dreams.

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Then once I know that I can pull out people that have the latent to support me and those that I can control out. For the right partners have a conversation with them that provides valuable feedback and criticism. This review can reveal in detail how what they say makes you feel.

The Five Steps to Confronting your Partner

1. Slowly walk your partner through the issue

Set the Scene – (Be positive) “Let’s honor, rekindle and reconnect in our relationship, and I would like to be truthful, honest and forthright with you ” I don’t want to start out saying, “You have a problem/You know what your problem is what is wrong with you.”

2. Communicate honestly about how you feel because of his actions

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Explain how you feel – When you do/say, it makes me feel..

3. Ask for possibility of changes of his actions

Ask – Would you be ready to stop saying/acting/doing?

4. Listen to his response, evaluate and plan the next move

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Listen – Listen to their reply and try to detect or determine sincerity. A serious answer will be one that understands your feelings and your guts to say something. If the other person objects, transfers blame to you or pokes fun/examines you, then consider that person a chump and disassociate yourself or remain in a toxic relationship

5. Acknowledge and be grateful to his change OR reaffirm your needs and leave

Review and then reaffirm – Repeat their response and acknowledge you heard them and repeated your concern and outcomes. For instance, “I’m glad you are willing to change your behavior towards me which makes me feel good. OR if they continue destructive behavior say “I’m sorry that we will not be able to come to an understanding. “Since this impacts my feelings and is critical to me and you seem to disagree, I think maintaining this relationship is not supportive and not a development environment for me, and I have to part ways.”

Reference

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Published on November 28, 2018

How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind

How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind

The woman in yoga pants sitting in a lotus position atop a rocky cliff, overlooking a valley draped in fog — this is the glamorized version of meditation you’ll come across as you search. Yet if you’re seeking meditation to calm your mind, a fantastic setting with no distractions is rarely available.

So how to do meditation?

The truth about meditation is it’s an everyday practice for anybody. You could be a mountain climber or you could be an accountant — either way, your home is just as good a place for meditation as any.

Are you seeking to corral your racing thoughts and relieve a sense of unease, awkwardness, or uncertainty? Look to home meditation to cultivate a laid-back, creative, confident, and organized frame of mind. According to extensive scientific research, meditation relieves stress and anxiety, decreases blood pressure, improves sleep, and improves your ability to pay attention. [1]

From start to finish, this article will give you quick, easy steps to follow so that you can meditate at home regularly. You’ll begin by assessing, identifying and altering things that need to change in your home environment. You’ll end by understanding the basics of meditation so that you can let yourself do what you already know how to do deep down in the hidden reality of your mind.

You’re ready to let your mind be, and just be, in your own home — let’s begin.

1. Find the Right Space in Your Home

Where is your right space for meditation at home? Is it in your basement, your bedroom, your living room, or your study?

The right space will be one with the least distractions built in to its purpose. In that case, it may be your bedroom. If you’ve set up your bedroom to be a place for sleep and only sleep, it will lend itself well to meditation.

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The right space will also be a reasonably spacious one. Although comfort is not your goal, you need room to sit. Choose a space that is private, spacious, and quiet. If you don’t have a space in your home like this, create one. Free it from clutter and get it ready for you to meditate there any time.

Ultimately, your right space is one you feel comfortable meditating in, the space you can enter with no other expectations.

2. Improve the Feng Shui in Your Home and Meditation Space

Feng shui means “wind and water.” It’s the ancient Chinese art of placement.[2]

Feng shui improves harmony with nature. Adherents to the principles of feng shui believe all things have energy (chi). The focus of feng shui is to send negative chi (sha) out of the space and attract positive chi (yun).

Here’s the truth about feng shui: it’s not complicated or hard. The following will influence feng shui positively in your home and meditation space:

  • Living things, such as plants
  • Beautiful objects, such as sculptures or even a well-polished piece of driftwood
  • Mirrors in symmetrical placement with the lines in a room
  • Mellifluous sounds, such as trickling water or wind chimes
  • Furniture away from walls
  • A centerpiece, such as a small table with books or an ornate lamp on it
  • Incense or something else that smells good
  • A lack of clutter and an attention to organization that emphasizes the usefulness, purpose, and essential being of each item in your house

Given that feng shui is connected to Taoism and Buddhism, it will complement the meditative atmosphere you want to cultivate in your home.

3. Eliminate Pervasive Distractions That Can Harm Your Wellbeing

In part, meditation is about accepting the existence of distractions. When you meditate, you don’t judge and assign a positive or a negative value to distractions — the ticking of a clock, an itch, the barking of a dog — you let them occur and let them dissipate like waves.

However, in the same way that feng shui removes objects that attract negative chi, there are certain types of distractions that don’t belong in your meditative space. You must remove them.

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In a survey of 1,700 people who visited social media sites at least 30 times per week, 30 percent reported high levels of sleep disturbance and 25 percent presented symptoms of depression. [3]

Those individuals who experience sleep disturbances or mental health issues due to social media are not setting boundaries between themselves and their connected devices.

Part of learning how to meditate at home is learning how and when to set boundaries between yourself and your connected devices and social media accounts. If you need your phone for a timed meditation practice, but you normally receive social media notifications on your phone, set it on Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode during your meditation time.

4. Flow into Meditation Through Time

Next, set aside a time for meditation each day. It’s right to be structured and disciplined about your meditation time.

Buddhist monks whose lives revolve around meditation are very structured and organized with their tasks each day. Structure provides the balance your being needs. Once you are meditating, your mind has no need for time. Outside of your given meditation time, you are completing tasks essential to the wellbeing of yourself and your home.

Consider meditating as the sun rises. This is a quiet and contemplative time of the day when it is natural to set your day’s balance through meditation.

5. Recognize the Rightness of Doing Nothing

At home, you’re probably used to always doing something. When you do meditation at home, you are being, which is doing something and nothing simultaneously.

Maryville University points out that successful people unplug by doing nothing. [4] Not only this, but they set the right expectations for the time during which they will do nothing.

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We oftentimes look forward to the future by expecting something to happen and by expecting something of ourselves. To meditate from home, look to that time and that space by expecting nothing. You will not do any chores. You will not catch up on work. You will do nothing but meditate for a certain amount of time each day.

This might sound crazy, but in taking on meditation from home, you’re not expecting yourself to improve and become a better person. As Ram Dass put it, you are expecting yourself to be here now.

6. Choose from the Incredible Variety of Meditative Practices

As I outlined in my post on types of meditation, there are many different and not-so-different types of meditation from which to choose.

Many beginners find it right to choose guided meditation, for which there are apps, videos, and audio tapes available.

If you are not necessarily a beginner but are merely moving your meditative practice into the home, you can facilitate a practice such as Nada Yoga — sound meditation — by placing a fountain in your space or listening to ambient alpha wave music.

If you’re used to meditating outside of your home — perhaps you are drawn to the outdoors because of the sounds of nature — a practice like Nada Yoga can help you transition into your home space.

7. Understand You Can Meditate Any Time at Home

What if I told you to throw out all of the tips that came before this? Sounds crazy but that is how radical mindfulness meditation really is. We don’t think of it as radical because it is now ingrained in our popular discourse.

Mindfulness meditation does start as a sitting meditation practice. It goes like this:

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  1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
  2. Focus on breathing. Inhale through your nose slowly and exhale slowly.
  3. As distracting thoughts arise, don’t judge them and don’t hang onto them. Let each thought go as you focus on breathing.
  4. Treat all physical sensations and feelings in the same way you do thoughts: register them, then let them go, returning to breathing.
  5. Extend this practice to everyday activity, remaining “in the moment” of the body’s activity with each new breath.

As you practice mindfulness around your home, note the physical characteristics of the things in themselves. Note physical sensations: sounds, smells, textures, appearances, tastes. Stop now and then and do a body scan from head to toe, noting what each section is doing and how it’s feeling.

Note thoughts that come and the emotions attached to them: let them go. Concentrate on the breath and the physical activities — including the details of the objects with which you’re interacting.

You’ll notice that your home will lend itself to a meditative state when things are in order. This is where true feng shui originates. You will naturally sense how the arrangement of things affects the energy in a room.

Clutter will disappear because mindfulness tells you to dispose of unnecessary things. Plants will bloom. Birds will make their nests in your backyard. Your home will smell pleasing and people will naturally be attracted to it and your presence.

You’ve Reached the Beginning and the End

Once you are able to do mindfulness meditation even as you are attending to the normal and abnormal requirements of your home, the mundane and the unusual, you are at both the beginning and the end.

You are at the beginning because meditation never ends. Continue setting aside time each day to do sitting meditation in the space you’ve set aside. Continue practicing mindfulness as you attend to the energy of your house, your own energy, and the energy of those around you.

You are at the end because you grasped what it means to do meditation at home: it means letting go of cares and concerns and being in your home as you attend to the right tasks. The right tasks are those necessary for being in your home.

As you sit in your home, rise, open the door and you leave, you are calm in your mind because you are home.

Featured photo credit: Simon Rae via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Healthline: 12 Science-Based Benefits of Meditation
[2]Marquette University: Feng Shui: The Wind and Water
[3]Rutgers University: Social Media and Well-Being
[4]Maryville University: How Successful People Unplug

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