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Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It

Signs of Excessive Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Deal with It

Jealousy and uncertainty can wreak havoc on any relationship. These toxic emotions create toxic relationships and can sap you of any chance of living a life you’ve always desired for.

Your life may be abundant of people who are reducing your energy due to an incurable case of jealousy.

Even on social media, you will find lots of people talking about the same topic and sharing quotes about relationships.

Whether it’s a page on Facebook, or any other social network, people do share their emotions and how they deal with it.

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How can you tell if your partner has an extreme case of jealousy?

These are a few ways to tell if your partner has a severe case of jealousy that could weaken you in your relationships.

Signs of excessive jealousy in a relationship

  • Show you how to dress; act, wear your hair, etc.
  • Overly concerned about the venue of your socializing activities;
  • Follow you around (even to the grocery stores!);
  • Intervene your social systems;
  • Call you excessively to know your location;
  • Be too serious about everything;
  • Struggle to communicate openly with you;
  • Do not see the goods in you and do things that make you feel small;
  • Have a negative standpoint and poor self-esteem and lack of confidence;
  • Be proactive in domestic arrangements;
  • Be aggressive and have biased view over some minor details

One of the most difficult thing for women to notice in a man is to confuse attributes like confidence, determination, persistence and ambition with aggressive behavior due to a lack of trust. When a man depicts tenacity due to insecurity and jealousy, it can become a recipe for failure in the relationship step. In the dating stage, this person looks charming and charismatic. Still, once a relationship is established this person begins having some negative thoughts that they will lose their partner following that THEY BELIEVE in and of themselves that they don’t merit to be loved.

Confronting the Jealous Partner

Before you decide to face the jealous partner [1], you must determine whether or not the relationship is salvageable. You may do this some ways, but I will suggest some of the articles here! Myself, I have found that recharging myself and reconnecting with my intentions is a good way to get to the root of me. Once I do that, I can easily distinguish those individuals that care about my goals and dreams.

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Then once I know that I can pull out people that have the latent to support me and those that I can control out. For the right partners have a conversation with them that provides valuable feedback and criticism. This review can reveal in detail how what they say makes you feel.

The Five Steps to Confronting your Partner

1. Slowly walk your partner through the issue

Set the Scene – (Be positive) “Let’s honor, rekindle and reconnect in our relationship, and I would like to be truthful, honest and forthright with you ” I don’t want to start out saying, “You have a problem/You know what your problem is what is wrong with you.”

2. Communicate honestly about how you feel because of his actions

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Explain how you feel – When you do/say, it makes me feel..

3. Ask for possibility of changes of his actions

Ask – Would you be ready to stop saying/acting/doing?

4. Listen to his response, evaluate and plan the next move

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Listen – Listen to their reply and try to detect or determine sincerity. A serious answer will be one that understands your feelings and your guts to say something. If the other person objects, transfers blame to you or pokes fun/examines you, then consider that person a chump and disassociate yourself or remain in a toxic relationship

5. Acknowledge and be grateful to his change OR reaffirm your needs and leave

Review and then reaffirm – Repeat their response and acknowledge you heard them and repeated your concern and outcomes. For instance, “I’m glad you are willing to change your behavior towards me which makes me feel good. OR if they continue destructive behavior say “I’m sorry that we will not be able to come to an understanding. “Since this impacts my feelings and is critical to me and you seem to disagree, I think maintaining this relationship is not supportive and not a development environment for me, and I have to part ways.”

Reference

[1] WikiHow: How to Handle Jealousy

More by this author

Helen Goad

Helen is a financial writer, business consultant, and freelance coach.

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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