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Sorry, These Phrases in Conversations Do Not Make You Funny, but Boring

Sorry, These Phrases in Conversations Do Not Make You Funny, but Boring

Do you feel like every conversation you have is so boring?

Find yourself drifting off mid-sentence?

Struggle to focus on the person you’re speaking to?

It doesn’t mean that you’re boring, but it could mean that you’re inadvertently using common conversation killers.These are phrases that can bring almost any conversation grinding to a halt.

While you might not realize it, you could be the one making your conversations dull.

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Luckily, that’s easy to fix.

Read on to find out more about what kills a conversation, and how you can put some life back into your communication.

Killer Phrase No. 1: “Oh, really?”

A friend shares some exciting news that they’ve been dying to tell you.

How do you respond?

If it’s with, “Oh, really?” then chances are the conversation won’t go much further.

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Your friend will respond with something like, “Yes, really…” or “I know, I couldn’t believe it either!”

There’s no opportunity for them to give you more detail, and you haven’t given much indication that you’re interested in what they have to say – a big conversation killer.

It’s easy to revert to saying, “Oh, really?” when you’re not sure what to say, but it’s not hard to break the habit with a little extra thought.

What you should say instead

Let’s say your friend has just told you about a scholarship they’ve been awarded. Instead of bringing the conversation to a halt with another, “Oh, really?”, try the following strategies:

  • Ask open-ended questions like, “How did you feel when you found out?”
  • Ask about specific details, like, “What did you have to do to apply?”
  • Talk about a similar experience you’ve had, and compare details, like, “I know when I applied for a scholarship it took a lot of work.”

Killer Phrase No. 2: “Awesome”, “Cool” or “Great”

It’s nice to give the person you’re speaking to positive feedback, but one word replies like ‘awesome” and “cool” don’t add much to the conversation.

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If you really like what they have to say, why not make a bit more effort to express that?

Or if you’re just saying “cool” because you’re not sure what else to say, why not ask some questions instead?

What you should say instead

Being positive is great, but it’s important not to reply to everything with just a single word – that just doesn’t take the conversation anywhere.

Here’s what you should try instead:

  • Specify why you think what they’ve said is cool/awesome/great, saying things like, “I love that you’ve decided to go vegetarian because I’ve always been passionate about animal rights.”
  • Ask for more information, saying something like, “Cool, I’ve never heard of that film – can you tell me more?”

Killer Phrase No. 3: “-yeah, I…”

Are you one of those people who just can’t help but interrupt during conversations?

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You’re sure you know exactly what the other person is about to say, so why not finish their sentence for them, or butt in with your reply?

Interrupting the person you’re speaking to can be extremely off-putting for them, and won’t make them keen to carry on the conversation.

Listening is so important when communicating, so don’t become so preoccupied with what you’re going to say that you ignore the other person.

What you should say instead

If you struggle to stop interrupting others, try practicing active listening. [1]

Listening involves five stages:

  1. Receiving. It’s impossible to properly hear what the other person is saying, so keep quiet and focus carefully on their words.
  2. Understanding. Taking a few moments to understand what’s being said allows you to reply in a more informed way. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you’re uncertain – it’s a great way to show that you’re interested.
  3. Evaluating. At this stage, you’ll be forming an opinion about what’s just been said. Don’t be afraid to disagree, as this can lead to some interesting debates.
  4. Responding. Be sure the other person has finished speaking before you respond, and focus on positive body language, like nodding and making eye contact.
  5. Remembering. Trying to remember what’s been said to you helps show that you’re interested, and lets conversation flow better. Avoiding interruption and distractions lets you retain as much info as possible.

A conversation should never end in boredom.

Follow these tips to keep your conversations interesting, engaging, and enjoyable for you and the person you’re speaking to.

Reference

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Eloise Best

Eloise is an everyday health expert and runs My Vegan Supermarket, a vegan blog and database of supermarket products.

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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