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30 Days Without Fear: A Plan That Will Make You Feel So Carefree Like Never Before

30 Days Without Fear: A Plan That Will Make You Feel So Carefree Like Never Before

Fear….The emotion is sparked off each time there is pain, evil or danger in some context or another.

In essence, the emotion is aroused in cases where the impending threat is a reality or even just imagined. You feel afraid whether there is something to fear or in some cases when there is no actual need to be afraid.

Karl Menninger :“Fears are educated into us, and can if we wish, be educated out.”

Fear is a tool for utmost resilience to escape danger. A bounce back survival mechanism. Adrenaline is released into our bloodstream with resulting biological reactions.

Our reflexes and senses are heightened to help us escape real physical danger. We reach the ‘fight or flight’ mode [1]

When you feel fear your brain signals the nervous system, the heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, breathing becomes faster, and stress hormones are released. Blood from the heart flows out in preparation for leg and arms to take action.

So basically the brain shuts down the body down and prepares it for action. The ability to reason and think decreases. Some may even feel like time is slowing down and have tunnel vision, trying to make sense of what is happening. These symptoms make it hard to be logical and stay grounded situations. The response of the body to stress or fear is in itself stressful .

Fear is a useful aid in real danger but not if the danger is self-perceived and unlikely to cause any real harm. Fear can be a drawback.

Fear holds you back if you do not need it. One such example is stage fright when making career moves. We end up making the wrong decisions due to the biological reactions of fear.

We need to be firmly grounded to deal calmly and logically with situations and not be overstimulated

The fact is 99% of times fear that is experience is fear that is non-physical. Fear existing in our minds. We think we are in danger when in actual fact we are not.

Common fears include:

  • Fear of speaking in public
  • Fear of other people and strangers
  • Fear of authority and judgment
  • Fear of losing or failure
  • Fear of change
  • Fear of being humiliated.
  • Fear of aging
  • Fear of loneliness
  • Fear of disappointment

Everybody will definitely relate to one or more of these fears at some life phase or the other, even if it is for a short time or on a subconscious level.

Even the most successful people cannot claim to be fearless. They trained themselves to take action despite fear. Halt judging yourself if you have fear. It is as normal as having the flu.

Do you fear being rejected? Are you afraid that you are not good enough and that people will figure out that you are not clever, perfect or funny enough? Do you fear failure, and what about success, do you fear success?

Fears live inside of you and follow you like shadows. The good news [2] is that you have the power and strength and practice resilience to rise above any fear!

We need to overcome mental fear. We need to analyze the root cause of fear and how to overcome it.

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Why plan to overcome fear?

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds’ Redemption song- Bob Marley

The main reason is that fear limits your potential. Personal growth is about living life the best you can. Fear is a block hat prevents personal progress and growth. David Hawkins in his book ‘Power vs Force’ [3] refers to fear as the 5th lowest level in the consciousness map of seventeen levels.

If you entrench yourself in illusions of fear [4] you cannot rise to higher levels of consciousness like acceptance, courage, love, peace, joy, and enlightenment.

The 30-day plan to overcome fear

Studies (University of Cambridge: Reconditioning the brain to overcome fear))indicate that we can conquer fear by continual exposure to them. Whether it is extreme sports, spiders, snakes or horror movies, our tolerance grows with more exposure. We learn the fear we have been harvesting is not actually harmful.

Make a list of your most significant fears. Do one thing every day that scares you and rewards yourself for completing the challenge to overcome the fear.

Day 1

On the first day make a note to alleviate all words with negative contractions for the next thirty days. Note all the usual sentences with the words like ‘won’t’ or ‘can’t.’ Flip the focus of your sentences and focus on the positive. Change the negative to positive For example, instead of saying ‘I do not want’ say ‘I would rather’. This defaults the negative. Use this day to practice flipping over all negatives that you will practice for the next thirty days. Start your ‘fear journal’ [5]

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

Day 2

Wake up and put on running shoes or head straight to the gym. The goal here is to stop procrastinating. Begin with this as a daily ritual.

If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. Dale Carnegie

Day 3

Create a space in your daily calendar. What would you do if you have a free hour set out for yourself every day? Read, Exercise, or play with the kids? That single hour needs to impact on life for the better. Set out priorities and make ‘me’ time an hour a day. You will be surprised how much more gets accomplished in a day

Day 4

Afraid of speaking in a public forum? Get on stage. Get involved in community forums. Go to an event in your neighborhood, raise your hand, affirm your opinion and take the stage!

The action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all. Norman Vincent Peale

Day 5

Your birthday arrives and instead of celebrating you are shuddering to look at the fact that it may take a long time to count the birthday candles? Are you afraid of aging?

Do yourself a favor. Hire a makeup artist, find an aging character image and play the part, be old for the day. Observe reactions around you. You will most likely lose the fear of aging.

I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott

Day 6

Afraid of being stung by bees? Contact the nearest beekeeper association in your district and venture to be a beekeeper for the day!

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Boldness is a mask for fear, however great. John Dryden

Day 7

Are you afraid of authority? Maybe your supervisor? Take a day to set a meeting to let it out. If not ready to directly approach the person in question, it can be with someone you trust or a professional as well. Talking to others relieves stress and you gain a brand new perspective.

Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear. Albert Camus

Day 8

Rule out expectations. Examine what expectations you have of others and yourself. What constraints does it have on your relationships with others if you did not have expectations of them?

Our expectations are formed based on life experiences, culture, upbringing, and religion. Suspend judgment and open your mind to brand new possibilities.

Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering. Dalai Lama

Day 9

Do you share similar fears with others? How about setting up a group session and learning from each other?

Day 10

Afraid of public spaces and judgments. Set the day. Go to a local celebration and dance the night away like you are in front of your own mirror and no one is watching you!

Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear. Dan Millman

Day 11

Go to an amusements park. Get some shivers with half a mile and half a mile back. Take a roller coaster ride.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. Nelson Mandela

Day 12

Always worried about your image and how people will perceive you? Quit spending that morning hour in from of the mirror. Spend the day outside in your pajamas.

The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate, to tell the truth, that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls. Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Day 13

Stayed away from certain kinds of foods? Spend a full day on a meal plan with dishes you never tried before.

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. James Stephens

Day 14

Get out in the world. Explore the unexplored. Plan a cultural tour of an existing ethnic tribe.

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The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. H. P. Lovecraft

Day 15

If you are afraid of losing people close to you, take an initiative to write letters expressing gratitude to loved ones and close family.

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton

Day 16

If you are afraid of solitude, spend a full day alone with no mobile devices and interaction for a full day.

He who is overly attached to other experiences fear and sorrow, for the root of all grief is attachment. Thus one should discard attachment to be happy. Chanakya

Day 17

Make contact with role models you wish to meet one day but never had the courage to approach.

Day 18

If you fear getting lost. Take a different route home. Explore and change direction

Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.Virgil Thomson

Day 19

Launch the project that you have been procrastinating. Break open the padlock of fear that resulted in procrastination until now.

The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one. John C. Maxwell

Day 20

Have you been in constant disagreements with a family member, friend or colleague and cut off ties for some time? Be resilient, take the initiative to set up a meeting of to resolve the issue and maybe reconcile.

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.Eric Hoffer

Day 21

A work related fear? We all have some kind of fear when it comes to our tasks. What are yours? Confront that fear and put it in perspective. Resolve the issue at hand

Day 22

Do you have social anxiety? Go out there and accept that invitation. This time does not recluse in a corner. In fact leave your smartphone at home that day, or keep it inside your bag.

Day 23

Has it been a while and you keep wondering why you are snoozing off and feeling tired or your appetite has kept you munching all day? Book and appointment with your doctor and get a full health check up.

Day 24

Do you maybe you felt like crouching in a corner waiting for the end of the world? Are you down and out, grouchy or feeling lousy? Book an appointment with a therapist.

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Day 25

Afraid of heights. Challenge yourself to do the next mountain climbing expedition. The start of by taking an escalator to the top in the tallest high building in your region and look down!

“Step by step we get ahead, not necessarily in fast spurts. But you build discipline by preparing for the fast spurts.” – Charlie Munger

Day 26

Holding back to ask a special someone to accompany you on an outing? Take the plunge and make the date.

If fear is the great enemy of intimacy, love is its true friend. Henri Nouwen

Day 27

Plan those special journeys. See places. Do things you always wanted to.

There’s no fear when you’re having fun. Will Thomas

Day 28

Make a list of all you wish to complete and all the mistakes you fear. Remember do not be afraid of perfection as you will never be perfect. Mistakes are life lessons.

The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one. John C. Maxwell

Day 29

Celebrate a love for life. Release brakes and be free, let go. Release hurt. Release fear. Stop entertaining past pain. The energy that is consumed by hanging on to past trials is halting innovation into a new life. Take this day to journal one thing you let go of.

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness, of hatred, of jealousy, and, most easily of all, the gate of fear. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Day 30

Reflect on every challenge you have accomplished and start afresh. Follow the master plan and alleviate all fears harvested and all those that will sprout.

Breathe. Meditate. Meditation and deep breathing regulate emotions.

Bloom out in a new spread of life.

At the end of the day, we must go forward with hope and not backward by fear and division. Jesse Jackson

Challenging your fears is taking time for a soul reflection. Every one of us has fears limiting life paths. We can transform our resistance and fear by shining light on them. Some release early, some can take time. By taking on the challenge to strengthen resilience and counteract fears we move in a wavelength of an authentic realm.

Reference

[1]Laboratory News: The science of Fear
[2]University of Cambridge: Reconditioning the brain to overcome fear
[3]Personality-development.org: David Hawkins
[4]SpiritualBuzz: David R. Hawkins – All Fears Are Illusions
[5]Lifehack: Master Your Fear With These 6 Tips

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

You’ve finally reached that comfortable spot in your relationship. You finish each other’s sentences and know before they order what the other one will have for lunch at your favorite restaurant. But, it’s starting to feel like boredom to you.

Video Summary

Security Can Lead to Boredom

It is normal to reach this level of security in a relationship. The longer you’re with somebody, the more you get to know them and what to expect from them. This level of familiarity is the cause of relationship boredom.

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Although security is definitely something you want with your significant other, what you don’t want is the boredom. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is believing that their predictability makes up for the loss of intimacy or excitement they used to feel together.[1] Why? Because this boredom increases your chances of losing the love between you.

When a couple starts to settle for feeling safe and secure, they believe nothing in the world can tear them apart. And this sense of confidence means they often stop putting effort into their relationship. Instead, their shared life becomes automatic, occurring without too much thought or investment and becoming indifferent. The last thing you want is to be in an indifferent romantic relationship. With indifference comes a whole slew of other feelings like annoyance and irritation, which in turn, prompts arguments.[2]

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Don’t allow this to happen to you and your significant other.

How to Prevent Boredom in Your Relationship

So, what can you do to avoid boredom in your relationship? Here are some great ideas to spark the passion and excitement:

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Try Something New Together

There’s nothing better for breaking up monotony than doing something new together. Do you two love taking pictures? Take a photography class together. Do you usually go hiking on the weekends? Throw a zipline or paragliding session into the mix. Research indicates that trying new activities is a great way to beat boredom.

Make a Plan for the Future

No, you don’t have to plan where you’ll buy your house or how many kids you’ll have if you’re not ready for that sort of conversation. You can, however, plan a weekend getaway or a vacation for a few months down the road. Making a plan gives you something to look forward to, which helps fight boredom. According to life coach Kelly Rogers, making plans for the future gives your relationship a little adrenaline rush, making you feel a sense of appreciation for each other.[3]

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Establish a Date Night

In your everyday, mundane life together, it can be easy to forget to make the two of you a priority. Establishing a mandatory date night is a wonderful way to bring you and your significant other together for some quality time. Melanie Schilling, a relationship psychologist, claims that date nights are actually critical to relationship health.[4] Set something specific to do together as often as your schedule allows. It doesn’t have to be dinner at an expensive restaurant either. You can plan a “no cell phone” night, a walk at the park, or even try to recreate one of your first dates together.

Remember to Say “I Love You”

Don’t forget to remind your partner why you are together, especially when boredom creeps its head between you two. Simple things like saying, “I love you” or letting them know how much you appreciate them can help you keep the romance alive in your relationship. Try to think about the happy memories the two of you have shared; it can be far too easy to dwell on the problems. Remembering why and how much you love your significant other is a great way to forget about any boredom you thought you were feeling.

Reference

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