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Why You Shouldn’t Aim at Being an Optimistic Person

Why You Shouldn’t Aim at Being an Optimistic Person

There is no disputing that it is important to be positive. But what most people won’t tell you about is the importance of negative emotions.

I knew a guy who was potentially the most optimistic person anyone could meet. His resilience was like no other. I shall always recall the time when someone we knew had suffered a miscarriage. He said cheerily to her, “That’s not really bad news because it means you can still get pregnant again!”

It seemed as though he was incapable of feeling anything negative. Nothing would upset him–not even tragedies where people died. Then one day, something happened–one small event triggered something within him. Suddenly, all of those years of emotions that he suppressed surfaced all at once. It resulted in him having to take several months off work as he fell into a deep depression.

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Resilience is part of being optimistic, but it doesn’t mean that they are both the same thing. And although trying to be optimistic is good, there are times when it could have an adverse effect.

Studies: one of the biggest contributors to psychological issues is emotional avoidance

It is human instinct to want to abstain from things that make us feel hurt. But repressing emotions such as sorrow leads to long-term issues such as depression or anxiety. For instance, if a loved one passed away, you should not give yourself a time limit to rush through the stages of grief.  [1]

Many studies have proven that one of biggest contributors to psychological issues is emotional avoidance.

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One such study [2] was conducted by Florida State University. Stress responses were measured by the heart rates of people who were alcohol dependent and exposed to alcohol-related cues. Those who restrained their thinking had much higher stress responses to the cues than those who did not suppress their thoughts.

Accepting and addressing bad emotions encourage a different kind of resilience. Some of these feelings have been instrumental in human survival since the dawn of time–whether it was fear (therefore the need to have better protection from danger) or the recognition that something didn’t feel good which motivated change.

How much optimism do we need? [3]

Too much or too little optimism is not healthy

There are good points to having an optimistic outlook as it helps you to identify opportunities and hope within challenging moments.

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At the same time, having no optimism at all would mean that you may be unable to see a way out of problems.

There is also an unrealistic optimism where you may be in a state of denial about negative situations. For instance, someone with a gambling problem may simply keep gambling and tell themselves that they will win eventually (despite losing large sums of money).

Acknowledge some negative emotions are necessary

There are times when negative emotions are important. If a lion ran out in front of you, your fear is what would cause your survival instinct to kick in.

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Remember you can adjust anytime

Not everything is within our control. Sometimes, you need to accept that and move forward in the best way possible–even if it is an option you do not like. You may have bought tickets to the theatre but there is a train strike. It could mean getting a taxi, and it’s ok to not feel happy about having to spend that extra money.

People who get caught in undercurrents while swimming often tend to panic and try to fight against the current, which only causes fatigue and drowning. Doing the opposite and going with the current will mean they can eventually swim back to the shore as the current will eventually weaken. Fighting against emotions that need to surface is the same.

It is ok to not feel happy or positive all the time. If you feel sad or have the need to cry–embrace it. Tears can sometimes be your body’s way of giving you a hug.

Reference

More by this author

J.S. von Dacre

Writer at Lifehack

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Last Updated on March 17, 2020

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

Are you bored at work right now?

Sitting at your desk, wishing you could be anywhere other than here, doing anything else…?

You’re not alone.

Even when you have a job you love, it’s easy to get bored. And if your job isn’t something you’re passionate about, it’s even easier for boredom to creep in.

Did you know it’s actually possible to make any job more interesting?

That’s right.

Whether it’s data entry or shelf stacking, even the most mind-numbing of jobs can be made more fun.

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Understanding the science behind boredom is the first step to beating it.

Read on to learn the truth about boredom, and what you can do to stop feeling bored at work for good.

VIDEO SUMMARY

I’m bored – as you’re watching the same film over and over again, even though it’s your favorite one

When you experience something new, your brain releases opioids – chemicals which make you feel good. [1]

It’s the feeling you might get when you taste a new food for the first time, watch a cool new film, or meet a new person.

However, the next time you have the same experience, the brain processes it in a different way, without releasing so many feel-good chemicals.

That’s why you won’t get the same thrill when you eat that delicious meal for the tenth time, rewatch that film again, or spend time with the same friend.

So, in a nutshell, we get bored when we aren’t having any new experiences.

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Now, new experiences don’t have to be huge life changes – they could be as simple as taking a different route to work, or picking a different sandwich shop for lunch.

We’re going to apply this theory to your boring job.

Keep reading find out how to make subtle changes to the way you work to defeat boredom and have more fun.

Your work can be much more interesting if you learn these little tricks.

Ready to learn how to stop feeling so bored at work?

We’ve listed some simple suggestions below – you can start implementing these right now.

Let’s do this.

Make routine tasks more interesting by adding something new

Sometimes one new element is all it takes to turn routine tasks from dull to interesting.

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Maybe there’s a long drive you have to make every single week. You get so bored, going the same old route to make the same old deliveries.

Why not make it a routine to create a playlist of new music each Sunday, to listen to on your boring drive during the week?

Just like that, something you dread can be turned into the highlight of your day.

For other routine tasks, you could try setting a timer and trying to beat your record, moving to a new location to complete the task, or trying out a new technique for getting the work done – you might even improve your productivity, too.

Combine repetitive tasks to get them out of the way

Certain tasks are difficult to make interesting, no matter how hard you try.

Get these yawn-inducing chores out of the way ASAP by combining them into one quick, focused batch.

For example, if you hate listening to meeting recordings, and dislike tidying your desk, do them both at the same time. You’ll halve the time you spend bored out of your mind, and can move onto more interesting tasks as soon as you’re done.

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Break large tasks into small pieces and plan breaks between them

Feeling overwhelmed can lead you to procrastinate and get bored. Try breaking up large tasks into lots of small pieces to keep things manageable and fun.

Try breaking up a 10,000 word report into 1000-word sections. Reward yourself at the end of each section, and you’ll get 10 mini mood boosts, instead of just one at the end.

You can also plan short breaks between each section, which will help to prevent boredom and keep you focused.

Give yourself regular rewards, it can be anything that makes you feel good

Make sure you reward yourself for achievements, even if they feel small.

Rewards could include:

  • Eating your favourite snack.
  • Taking a walk in a natural area.
  • Spending a few minutes on a fun online game.
  • Buying yourself a small treat.
  • Visiting a new place.
  • Spending time on a favourite hobby.

Your brain will come to associate work with fun rewards, and you’ll soon feel less bored and more motivated.

Boredom doesn’t have to be a fact of life.

Make your working life feel a thousand times more fun by following the simple tips above.

Reference

[1] Psychology Today: Why People Get Bored

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