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The Differences Between a Terrible Pick up Line and a Sweet One That Can’t Fail

The Differences Between a Terrible Pick up Line and a Sweet One That Can’t Fail

Picking up an attractive woman is a strong desire for some men, but it can also be quite difficult. You may be wondering what you should say to get the woman interested in you, also avoiding embarrassing yourself or getting yourself arrested? Here is a guide to everything you need to know, from the worst pick up line to what can be said to maximize your success rate:

When Is A Good Pick-up Line Most Needed?

The simple answer is that you should always have a good line ready, because you just don’t know when the perfect woman for you may come along. Most commonly, pick up lines are used in clubs or bars when approaching women. However, you may also want to stir up a conversation on a bus or train [1], while waiting in a dentist’s office, or even with a colleague at work.

How Bad Things Can Go with The Worst Pick-up Line?

Bad pick up lines make everyone cringe, men and women alike. The best case scenario of using a bad pick up line is getting ignored or rejected. Worst case, the person you approach may make fun of you or laugh about you to their friends. They may even take their phone out and start recording videos while making fun of you! Worst of all if you are particularly creepy, a woman may even call security or the police if your bad pick up lines make her especially uncomfortable.

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Worst Pick-up Lines (You Should Really Avoid Them!)

Here are some examples of bad pickup lines from Uncyclopedia [2] that you DON’T want to use:

  • You really remind me of my ex-girlfriend!
  • You have really nice breasts
  • Nice shoes, we should go out
  • The doctor assures me I’m completely disease-free now
  • You’re like a tree stump, I’m falling over you
  • You’re hotter than my sister
  • If I had a dime for every time a girl said yes, I’d still be poor
  • Blink once if you want to go out with me
  • I’m with the FBI, female body inspectors
  • I’m secretly Batman
  • I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bed rock
  • This chocolate bar isn’t the only thing that’s king-sized
  • You’re really beautiful for an overweight person
  • Will you marry me?
  • Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Hopefully, you can immediately see what’s wrong with these bad lines, but if not, here’s a basic rundown of things to avoid when you approach women.

Some Further Taboos in Pick-up Lines

Don’t comment on their body

It doesn’t matter if you have a positive or negative thing to say about it. Women don’t want a shallow guy who is only interested in their physical appearance.

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Don’t be creepy

This should actually be Rule #1. Whenever you’re approaching a woman, you should be observing to see if you are making her uncomfortable, and back off if that’s the case. The most unattractive thing for a woman is a creepy guy who is totally oblivious to how creepy he is.

Don’t be cheesy

No girl is going to want to talk to you if you make her eyes roll herself into another dimension.

Don’t come on too strong

Similar to not being creepy, there is a socially acceptable amount of compliments that you can give to a stranger.

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So, What Makes A Good Pick-up Line?

Be genuine – don’t pretend to be a doctor or lawyer, and don’t act super suave. Just be yourself.

Be respectful – Don’t come on extremely aggressive. Respect personal space. Be polite and move on if she says no. Being approached by a random stranger can be scary and intimidating, so smile and be calm and use open body language to put them at ease.

A great pick up line only works if it is followed by real and engaging conversation. Otherwise it is like giving beautiful paints and a canvas to a man with no creative talent. Good start but no art. Before a guy reaches out to a new girl he should write down at least 5 reasons he would be a great person to get to know. No bull. 5 at least. If he cannot come up with 5 then the best line in the world will get him nowhere.

Matthew Anderson, Relationship Coach and Author of The Resurrection of Romance [3]

Best Pick-up lines (You May Follow or Learn From Them)

Here are a few good pick up lines that should give you a better understanding of what works. If all else fails, these will surely get you a laugh, and that’s a great start.

  • Hey, do you have a few minutes for me to hit on you?
  • Would you like to go out sometime? Just smile for yes, or do a backflip for no.
  • I was trying to have a guys’ night out and you just totally ruined it by being so cute.
  • You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  • If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.
  • Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa Clause what I want for Christmas?
  • Hey did you drop something? (Ummm What?) Your standards, Hi I’m Nick
  • Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • I need to hop over to Facebook for a second to change my status to smitten.

Prepare For The Worst, Hope For The Best

Just remember to be yourself, and don’t act creepy. Remember not to take it personally if you get turned down a few times; not everyone is going to react favourably when you approach them. But if you try enough times, you’re sure to find the woman of your dreams. If all else fails, just drop the cheesy lines and be honest. A sincere “Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re really beautiful” could be your strongest line of all.

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Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

[1] Older Dating: Non-Creepy Ways to Start a Conversation With a Stranger Today
[2] Uncyclopedia: Worst 100 Pick-Up Lines of All Time
[3] The Resurrection of Romance: Home

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Last Updated on October 20, 2020

Can People Change When Changing Is So Difficult?

Can People Change When Changing Is So Difficult?

Hope is not a strategy when it comes to change. Commitment is what is needed to make real change happen. Can people change? Absolutely, but exchanging your excuses for commitment is necessary to get started.

Human nature leans toward habits, which can become ingrained over the years, but that doesn’t mean habits can be undone.

The good news is that your personality and behaviors can be changed, but it is up to you. Below are some tips to help you get started with change.

1. Figure out What You Need to Change

If you’re reading this, you’re probably already aware of something you would like to change. That’s great! The first step toward change is acknowledging that you have something you need to change.

Look at the repeated problems in your life, the issues that seem to come up time and time again. Do you keep gravitating toward the wrong relationships, but you blame the people you are choosing, rather than looking at your problem in the selection process?

Do you jump from one job to another, yet blame co-workers and bosses, rather than look at what you may be doing to cause problems and dissatisfaction on the job?

We are creatures of habit, so look at the negative patterns in your life. Then, look inside to see what’s causing these repeated life problems to occur. If you can’t figure it out on your own, consider going to a counselor for better understanding. Once you recognize the area that requires change, you can move to the next step.

2. Believe That Change Is Indeed Possible

There are people out there who believe that personality is unchangeable. When confronted with their problem, such as constant negativity, they lash back with “that’s just who I am.” It may be who you are, but does it need to be?

Change in personality and behaviors is possible. Nobody stays the same from one year to the next, let alone across a decade, so why not move change in the direction that is best for you? Be proactive about the change you want in your life, including the belief that change can occur.

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Look for success stories and people who have changed and done what you so deeply desire to do. Seeing that others have been where you have are and have accomplished the change you desire will help you in your process to accomplish that change.

3. List the Benefits of This Change

In order for people to change, they need to buy into the premise that the change is necessary for their betterment. For example, maybe your goal is to be more productive at work. There are many benefits that could come from this, including:

  • Getting more done in a shorter amount of time.
  • Having more time for your family.
  • Getting a promotion
  • Being liked and appreciated by your boss.
  • Being part of the success of the company.

One of the best ways to help yourself stick to the commitment of change is to make a list of the benefits that the change will bring in your life. Make one list of the benefits for your life and another for your loved ones. Recognizing the full spectrum of benefits, including how your change will affect those closest to you, will help you stick with the process of change.

When you have moments of weakness, or fail on a particular day or time, then getting back on track becomes easier when you review your list on a regular basis. Posting your “benefits of change” list somewhere where you see it often, such as a bathroom mirror, will help you be reminded of why you are doing what you are doing.

4. Make a Real Commitment to Change

Make a commitment to the time frame needed for the change to happen. If you want to lose 50 lbs., then set out a realistic plan of a few pounds per week and a timeline that reflects those goals.

It will take you a lot longer than a month, but setting realistic goals will help you stick to your commitment. Change happens one day at a time. It is not immediate, but over the course of time because of your dedication and commitment to the process.

It also helps if you make your goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.[1]

People can change using SMART goals

    An example of this would be a person who wants to become an active runner so they can tackle a half marathon. The first step would be to research what other people have done for training plans to achieve this goal.

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    Runners World lays out specifics for a beginner to train for a half marathon: “Target the Long Run: Every other week, increase your long run by 1.5 miles until you’re run/walking 13 to 14 miles. On alternate weeks, keep your long run to no longer than three miles. Your longest long run should fall two weeks before your half-marathon. Plan to take about 15 weeks to prepare for the big day.”[2]

    These kinds of specificities will help you create a personalized plan that is achievable and time-bound.

    You can learn more about writing SMART goals here.

    5. Create a Plan of Attack

    You need a set of steps outlined to succeed. This is why 12-step programs are so successful. You can’t simply walk into a meeting and be cured and changed. You need to mentally process the change in order for the change to be lasting and effective.

    Create a plan for your change. Be realistic and investigate what other people have done to change.

    For example, if you are dealing with anxiety and want to change that, then seek out therapy methods to address your problem. Stick with the therapy plan until your change process is complete. Simply hoping the anxiety will someday go away is not a plan.

    6. Commit to Action

    It is wonderful to set a goal for change and to write it down, but if you don’t act, then your mental commitment means nothing. There is no actual commitment unless action follows. To best kick start our change, the key is to act now[3].

    For example, if you committed to lose 50lbs, then now is the time to go join a gym, hire a trainer, and walk into a weight loss clinic to get support. We can make up our mind to be determined to change, but if action does not follow soon thereafter, then you will likely fail.

    If you wait until later that week, you will get caught up in doing your daily routine, things for works, taking care of others, or whatever it may be; there will be distractions that will derail you from taking action later. There is no better time to take action than when you make the decision to change.

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    For example, if you decide you want to finally write that book that is in your mind, but you don’t have a working laptop, then go and get a laptop today. Then, set aside an hour each day after work (and on your calendar) so that you can write. Instead of going out with friends after work, you are committing to achieve this goal, and you have time set aside to make that goal happen.

    7. Find a Support System

    When people want to change, finding a support system is key. A great way to find support is through group therapy or support groups. If you have a substance abuse issue, for example, you can find groups that specialize is supporting you through recovery and change.

    If you prefer to find support in the comfort of your own home, then you can look for online support forums and Facebook groups that deal with whatever change you are looking to pursue.

    Your ability to be successful in change is dependent on your ability to dive in; support systems help you with the initial dive and staying committed thereafter. and will help you stay committed to the process. Don’t underestimate the power you have by partnering with others who are seeking the same change.

    8. Get Uncomfortable

    Change should be uncomfortable. You are entering new territory and stepping out of your comfort zone. Your mind and past habits will be resistant to the change, as it is uncomfortable and difficult.

    If you give up because of the discomfort, then you are destined to fail in your pursuit of change. Embrace the discomfort associated with change and recognize that it puts you one step closer to accomplishing your goals.

    9. Stick to the Plan

    When people decide to change, sticking to it is difficult. If you get derailed from your plan, don’t berate yourself. Instead, allow yourself some margin of error and then get back on track.

    You can’t expect to go on a diet without splurging sometimes. The key is “sometimes.” The sooner you get back on track, the more successful you will be in accomplishing your change goals.

    Other researchers on the topic of change believe this process is about dedication and commitment to the change desired in our day to day lives, as Douglas LaBier from the Huffington Post so aptly stated:[4]

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    “Change occurs from awareness of what aspects of our personality we want to develop, and working hard to “practice” them in daily life.”

    Here are some tips on sticking to a plan:

    Engage in Self-Reflection

    Reflect on things that have derailed you in the past and problem solve them before they happen.

    Jot down those things that tend to get you off track. Now, list ways to combat the derailments before they happen. For example, if you are wanting to lose weight but you work late hours, then commit to morning workouts.

    If you know that in the past you would continually hit the snooze button and subsequently miss the workouts, then hire a trainer for early morning workouts. You are less likely to miss your workout if you have real money attached to it and someone counting on you to show up. You could also schedule morning workouts with a friend, so you know there is someone showing up and you don’t want to let them down.

    Brainstorm solutions for your past derailments so that this time around you are ready to stick to the plan and the commitment you have made to change.

    Define Your Commitment

    Commitment is a daily mental and physical plight when it comes to change. If your commitment is to lose weight, then be specific about how you are going to achieve your change. For example, you decide you are going to stick to 1,800 calories a day and a 1-hour workout every day.

    Then, write those goals down and chart your daily progress. Hold yourself accountable.

    Final Thoughts

    Can people change? Hopefully, by now, you believe that they can. If you have a sense of commitment and persistence, change is possible with any life experience.

    Start small, create specific goals, and don’t wait to get started. You’ll be amazed how far change will take you.

    More on How to Make Changes in Your Life

    Featured photo credit: Jurica Koletić via unsplash.com

    Reference

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