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The Differences Between a Terrible Pick up Line and a Sweet One That Can’t Fail

The Differences Between a Terrible Pick up Line and a Sweet One That Can’t Fail

Picking up an attractive woman is a strong desire for some men, but it can also be quite difficult. You may be wondering what you should say to get the woman interested in you, also avoiding embarrassing yourself or getting yourself arrested? Here is a guide to everything you need to know, from the worst pick up line to what can be said to maximize your success rate:

When Is A Good Pick-up Line Most Needed?

The simple answer is that you should always have a good line ready, because you just don’t know when the perfect woman for you may come along. Most commonly, pick up lines are used in clubs or bars when approaching women. However, you may also want to stir up a conversation on a bus or train [1], while waiting in a dentist’s office, or even with a colleague at work.

How Bad Things Can Go with The Worst Pick-up Line?

Bad pick up lines make everyone cringe, men and women alike. The best case scenario of using a bad pick up line is getting ignored or rejected. Worst case, the person you approach may make fun of you or laugh about you to their friends. They may even take their phone out and start recording videos while making fun of you! Worst of all if you are particularly creepy, a woman may even call security or the police if your bad pick up lines make her especially uncomfortable.

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Worst Pick-up Lines (You Should Really Avoid Them!)

Here are some examples of bad pickup lines from Uncyclopedia [2] that you DON’T want to use:

  • You really remind me of my ex-girlfriend!
  • You have really nice breasts
  • Nice shoes, we should go out
  • The doctor assures me I’m completely disease-free now
  • You’re like a tree stump, I’m falling over you
  • You’re hotter than my sister
  • If I had a dime for every time a girl said yes, I’d still be poor
  • Blink once if you want to go out with me
  • I’m with the FBI, female body inspectors
  • I’m secretly Batman
  • I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bed rock
  • This chocolate bar isn’t the only thing that’s king-sized
  • You’re really beautiful for an overweight person
  • Will you marry me?
  • Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Hopefully, you can immediately see what’s wrong with these bad lines, but if not, here’s a basic rundown of things to avoid when you approach women.

Some Further Taboos in Pick-up Lines

Don’t comment on their body

It doesn’t matter if you have a positive or negative thing to say about it. Women don’t want a shallow guy who is only interested in their physical appearance.

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Don’t be creepy

This should actually be Rule #1. Whenever you’re approaching a woman, you should be observing to see if you are making her uncomfortable, and back off if that’s the case. The most unattractive thing for a woman is a creepy guy who is totally oblivious to how creepy he is.

Don’t be cheesy

No girl is going to want to talk to you if you make her eyes roll herself into another dimension.

Don’t come on too strong

Similar to not being creepy, there is a socially acceptable amount of compliments that you can give to a stranger.

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So, What Makes A Good Pick-up Line?

Be genuine – don’t pretend to be a doctor or lawyer, and don’t act super suave. Just be yourself.

Be respectful – Don’t come on extremely aggressive. Respect personal space. Be polite and move on if she says no. Being approached by a random stranger can be scary and intimidating, so smile and be calm and use open body language to put them at ease.

A great pick up line only works if it is followed by real and engaging conversation. Otherwise it is like giving beautiful paints and a canvas to a man with no creative talent. Good start but no art. Before a guy reaches out to a new girl he should write down at least 5 reasons he would be a great person to get to know. No bull. 5 at least. If he cannot come up with 5 then the best line in the world will get him nowhere.

Matthew Anderson, Relationship Coach and Author of The Resurrection of Romance [3]

Best Pick-up lines (You May Follow or Learn From Them)

Here are a few good pick up lines that should give you a better understanding of what works. If all else fails, these will surely get you a laugh, and that’s a great start.

  • Hey, do you have a few minutes for me to hit on you?
  • Would you like to go out sometime? Just smile for yes, or do a backflip for no.
  • I was trying to have a guys’ night out and you just totally ruined it by being so cute.
  • You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  • If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.
  • Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa Clause what I want for Christmas?
  • Hey did you drop something? (Ummm What?) Your standards, Hi I’m Nick
  • Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • I need to hop over to Facebook for a second to change my status to smitten.

Prepare For The Worst, Hope For The Best

Just remember to be yourself, and don’t act creepy. Remember not to take it personally if you get turned down a few times; not everyone is going to react favourably when you approach them. But if you try enough times, you’re sure to find the woman of your dreams. If all else fails, just drop the cheesy lines and be honest. A sincere “Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re really beautiful” could be your strongest line of all.

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Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

[1]Older Dating: Non-Creepy Ways to Start a Conversation With a Stranger Today
[2]Uncyclopedia: Worst 100 Pick-Up Lines of All Time
[3]The Resurrection of Romance: Home

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

He asks you for your opinion, but only follows his own advice regardless of what you say.She loves to talk about herself, everything about her is just better than you.  When you try to share anything happy about yourself, she seriously doubts it.

If you know someone who acts like these examples, there’s a chance they might be a narcissist.

What is a narcissistic personality?

Narcissism is a spectrum personality disorder which most of us have.

In popular culture, narcissism is interpreted as a person who’s in love with themselves, more accurately, their idealized selves. Narcissists believe that they are too unique to be understood and that they are so good that they demand for admiration from others.

Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that,[1]

the narcissist is someone who has buried his true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) describes narcissistic personality as a personality disorder. It is a spectrum disorder, which means it exists on a continuum ranging from some narcissistic traits to the full-blown personality disorder.[2]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not very common, but the truth is, we all have some of the narcissistic traits.

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Traits of a narcissist:

  • They have a deep need for admiration and validation. They think they’re special and too unique to be understood.
  • They feel they are superior to other. They achieve more and know a lot more than you.
  • They do not show their vulnerabilities. They fear what others think of them and they want to remain superior in all situations.
  • They are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. They want to be the centre of attention and believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
  • They are skilled manipulators and are emotionally abusive. They know how to make use of their charm to take advantage of others to get what they want.

How are narcissists different from others?

Narcissism expert and the author of Narcissism in a Nutshell, Zari Ballard, tried to answer some common questions asked by non-narcissists about what a narcissist thinks and feels from a narcissist’s perspective.[3]

Do narcissists know they are narcissists and are they happy?

We could really care less about how others feel. We enjoy our so called cold existence. True narcissists don’t want to change. We feel in total control of our lives using this method.

Do narcissists know or understand right from wrong?

Narcissists know the difference between right and wrong because they understand cause and effect. There is no “guilty conscience” giving them a clue and they are displaying the symptom of being “indifferent to social norms” while most likely presenting as ‘cold-hearted.’

Narcissists have a very different thinking mechanism. They see things from a different perspective. Unlike non-narcissists and empaths, they don’t have much sympathy and are reluctant to show emotions to others.

Why do people become narcissists?

1. Narcissism is vulnerability taken to an extreme.

The root of a narcissistic personality is a strong resistance to feeling vulnerable with anyone.[4]

Narcissists refuse to put themselves in a position where they feel vulnerable. They fear that others will take advantage of their weaknesses, so they learn to camouflage their weaknesses by acting strong and powerful. The think showing emotions to others is a sign of weakness, so they learn to hide their emotions and act cold-hearted most of the times.

Narcissists live in a state of anxiety because they are highly aware of their emotions and how others think of them.

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Vulnerability aversion, is the root of a narcissistic personality.

2. A narcissistic personality could be a result of a wounded past.

Narcissists are desperate to seek validation constantly because they either didn’t feel worthwhile and valued in the past, or were being paid too much attention as the most precious and unique one in the world.

Faulty or inadequate parenting, for example a lack of limit setting, is believed to be a major cause, and both permissive and authoritarian styles of parenting have been found to promote narcissistic symptoms.[5]

Both parents who fail to see the worth in a child, and parents who spoil and give excessive praise to the child promote narcissism as the child grows. While the former ones make the child feel inferior of others and want to get more attention, the latter ones encourage an idealized-self in the child.

How to deal with a narcissist?

1. If someone close to you is a narcissist, embrace the differences.

There’re different personality types and not everyone will think and act the same as you do. Instead of trying to change others, learn to accept the differences and strike a balance when you really have to communicate with them.

2. Don’t try to change them, focus on your own needs.

Try to understand that narcissists are resistant to change, it’s more important for you to see who they really are, instead of who you want them to be. Focus on how you feel, and what you want yourself to be.

Embrace the fact that there’re different types of personality and the only thing you can control is your attitude and your own actions.

3. Recognize what they do only comes from their insecurity.

Narcissists are quite vulnerable deep inside, they question others because that’s how they can make themselves feel better.

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When you learn that what a narcissist does to you is nothing personal, but something that comes from their insecurity, you know that sometimes they just need a certain amount of reassurance.

This is especially important if the narcissist is someone you have to closely work with, or if they’re your family member. The right amount of reassurance can calm them down and get the tasks on hand completed.

4. Ask them what would others think instead of what’d others feel.[6]

Narcissists don’t feel guilty, but they care about how others think of them deep in their heart.

Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein explains:

There are just things, like other people’s feelings, that narcissists rarely consider. If you have their ear, don’t tell them how people might react; instead, ask probing questions. Narcissists are much more likely to act on ideas that they think they thought up themselves.

If you have to work with a narcissist closely, focus on the facts and ideas, not the emotions.

5. Let go of the need of getting a narcissist’s approval.

You’re not who a narcissist says you are. Don’t let their blame game undermine your self-esteem, and don’t argue with them just to defend what you believe is right.

There is no point arguing with a narcissist just to prove them wrong because they will not give in proving themselves right. It’s more likely that you’ll get more upset when they disagree with you in an unpleasant way.

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Know your own worth and detach from a narcissist’s opinion on you.

6. If a narcissist is hurting you, stay away from them.

Remember, a healthy relationship is two-sided. It’s about mutual respect and it’s based on give and take. But any kind of relationship with a narcissist is likely to be the contrary, it’s about making the narcissist happy and constantly supporting them. A relationship like this will only weigh you down and is unhealthy for your growth.

7. Set a boundary and always keep it.

If you’re setting a boundary, you have to be willing to keep it. When a narcissist sees that you’re trying to take back control of your life, they will try to test your limits, it’s just their instinct to do it.

Be prepared that your boundary will be challenged. Make your boundary clear, have all the actions needed to be taken in your mind.

For example, if you have decided to stop communicating with them, they will likely to show up in front of you just to talk to you. Be brave enough to keep your boundary, don’t back down and get close to them again; or else they will not take your boundary seriously any more.

8. Learn when to walk away.

When a narcissist starts to make you feel uncomfortable and doubt about yourself, it’s time to pick yourself up and give yourself enough respect to just walk away from them.

If you’re in love with a narcissist, you should seriously think about ending the relationship and move on for a better life. If the narcissist is your family member, you don’t have to be cruel to them, but it’s better to keep distance from them.

Reference

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