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The Differences Between a Terrible Pick up Line and a Sweet One That Can’t Fail

The Differences Between a Terrible Pick up Line and a Sweet One That Can’t Fail

Picking up an attractive woman is a strong desire for some men, but it can also be quite difficult. You may be wondering what you should say to get the woman interested in you, also avoiding embarrassing yourself or getting yourself arrested? Here is a guide to everything you need to know, from the worst pick up line to what can be said to maximize your success rate:

When Is A Good Pick-up Line Most Needed?

The simple answer is that you should always have a good line ready, because you just don’t know when the perfect woman for you may come along. Most commonly, pick up lines are used in clubs or bars when approaching women. However, you may also want to stir up a conversation on a bus or train [1], while waiting in a dentist’s office, or even with a colleague at work.

How Bad Things Can Go with The Worst Pick-up Line?

Bad pick up lines make everyone cringe, men and women alike. The best case scenario of using a bad pick up line is getting ignored or rejected. Worst case, the person you approach may make fun of you or laugh about you to their friends. They may even take their phone out and start recording videos while making fun of you! Worst of all if you are particularly creepy, a woman may even call security or the police if your bad pick up lines make her especially uncomfortable.

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Worst Pick-up Lines (You Should Really Avoid Them!)

Here are some examples of bad pickup lines from Uncyclopedia [2] that you DON’T want to use:

  • You really remind me of my ex-girlfriend!
  • You have really nice breasts
  • Nice shoes, we should go out
  • The doctor assures me I’m completely disease-free now
  • You’re like a tree stump, I’m falling over you
  • You’re hotter than my sister
  • If I had a dime for every time a girl said yes, I’d still be poor
  • Blink once if you want to go out with me
  • I’m with the FBI, female body inspectors
  • I’m secretly Batman
  • I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bed rock
  • This chocolate bar isn’t the only thing that’s king-sized
  • You’re really beautiful for an overweight person
  • Will you marry me?
  • Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Hopefully, you can immediately see what’s wrong with these bad lines, but if not, here’s a basic rundown of things to avoid when you approach women.

Some Further Taboos in Pick-up Lines

Don’t comment on their body

It doesn’t matter if you have a positive or negative thing to say about it. Women don’t want a shallow guy who is only interested in their physical appearance.

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Don’t be creepy

This should actually be Rule #1. Whenever you’re approaching a woman, you should be observing to see if you are making her uncomfortable, and back off if that’s the case. The most unattractive thing for a woman is a creepy guy who is totally oblivious to how creepy he is.

Don’t be cheesy

No girl is going to want to talk to you if you make her eyes roll herself into another dimension.

Don’t come on too strong

Similar to not being creepy, there is a socially acceptable amount of compliments that you can give to a stranger.

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So, What Makes A Good Pick-up Line?

Be genuine – don’t pretend to be a doctor or lawyer, and don’t act super suave. Just be yourself.

Be respectful – Don’t come on extremely aggressive. Respect personal space. Be polite and move on if she says no. Being approached by a random stranger can be scary and intimidating, so smile and be calm and use open body language to put them at ease.

A great pick up line only works if it is followed by real and engaging conversation. Otherwise it is like giving beautiful paints and a canvas to a man with no creative talent. Good start but no art. Before a guy reaches out to a new girl he should write down at least 5 reasons he would be a great person to get to know. No bull. 5 at least. If he cannot come up with 5 then the best line in the world will get him nowhere.

Matthew Anderson, Relationship Coach and Author of The Resurrection of Romance [3]

Best Pick-up lines (You May Follow or Learn From Them)

Here are a few good pick up lines that should give you a better understanding of what works. If all else fails, these will surely get you a laugh, and that’s a great start.

  • Hey, do you have a few minutes for me to hit on you?
  • Would you like to go out sometime? Just smile for yes, or do a backflip for no.
  • I was trying to have a guys’ night out and you just totally ruined it by being so cute.
  • You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  • If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.
  • Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa Clause what I want for Christmas?
  • Hey did you drop something? (Ummm What?) Your standards, Hi I’m Nick
  • Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • I need to hop over to Facebook for a second to change my status to smitten.

Prepare For The Worst, Hope For The Best

Just remember to be yourself, and don’t act creepy. Remember not to take it personally if you get turned down a few times; not everyone is going to react favourably when you approach them. But if you try enough times, you’re sure to find the woman of your dreams. If all else fails, just drop the cheesy lines and be honest. A sincere “Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re really beautiful” could be your strongest line of all.

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Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

[1]Older Dating: Non-Creepy Ways to Start a Conversation With a Stranger Today
[2]Uncyclopedia: Worst 100 Pick-Up Lines of All Time
[3]The Resurrection of Romance: Home

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Published on November 28, 2018

How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind

How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind

The woman in yoga pants sitting in a lotus position atop a rocky cliff, overlooking a valley draped in fog — this is the glamorized version of meditation you’ll come across as you search. Yet if you’re seeking meditation to calm your mind, a fantastic setting with no distractions is rarely available.

So how to do meditation?

The truth about meditation is it’s an everyday practice for anybody. You could be a mountain climber or you could be an accountant — either way, your home is just as good a place for meditation as any.

Are you seeking to corral your racing thoughts and relieve a sense of unease, awkwardness, or uncertainty? Look to home meditation to cultivate a laid-back, creative, confident, and organized frame of mind. According to extensive scientific research, meditation relieves stress and anxiety, decreases blood pressure, improves sleep, and improves your ability to pay attention. [1]

From start to finish, this article will give you quick, easy steps to follow so that you can meditate at home regularly. You’ll begin by assessing, identifying and altering things that need to change in your home environment. You’ll end by understanding the basics of meditation so that you can let yourself do what you already know how to do deep down in the hidden reality of your mind.

You’re ready to let your mind be, and just be, in your own home — let’s begin.

1. Find the Right Space in Your Home

Where is your right space for meditation at home? Is it in your basement, your bedroom, your living room, or your study?

The right space will be one with the least distractions built in to its purpose. In that case, it may be your bedroom. If you’ve set up your bedroom to be a place for sleep and only sleep, it will lend itself well to meditation.

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The right space will also be a reasonably spacious one. Although comfort is not your goal, you need room to sit. Choose a space that is private, spacious, and quiet. If you don’t have a space in your home like this, create one. Free it from clutter and get it ready for you to meditate there any time.

Ultimately, your right space is one you feel comfortable meditating in, the space you can enter with no other expectations.

2. Improve the Feng Shui in Your Home and Meditation Space

Feng shui means “wind and water.” It’s the ancient Chinese art of placement.[2]

Feng shui improves harmony with nature. Adherents to the principles of feng shui believe all things have energy (chi). The focus of feng shui is to send negative chi (sha) out of the space and attract positive chi (yun).

Here’s the truth about feng shui: it’s not complicated or hard. The following will influence feng shui positively in your home and meditation space:

  • Living things, such as plants
  • Beautiful objects, such as sculptures or even a well-polished piece of driftwood
  • Mirrors in symmetrical placement with the lines in a room
  • Mellifluous sounds, such as trickling water or wind chimes
  • Furniture away from walls
  • A centerpiece, such as a small table with books or an ornate lamp on it
  • Incense or something else that smells good
  • A lack of clutter and an attention to organization that emphasizes the usefulness, purpose, and essential being of each item in your house

Given that feng shui is connected to Taoism and Buddhism, it will complement the meditative atmosphere you want to cultivate in your home.

3. Eliminate Pervasive Distractions That Can Harm Your Wellbeing

In part, meditation is about accepting the existence of distractions. When you meditate, you don’t judge and assign a positive or a negative value to distractions — the ticking of a clock, an itch, the barking of a dog — you let them occur and let them dissipate like waves.

However, in the same way that feng shui removes objects that attract negative chi, there are certain types of distractions that don’t belong in your meditative space. You must remove them.

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In a survey of 1,700 people who visited social media sites at least 30 times per week, 30 percent reported high levels of sleep disturbance and 25 percent presented symptoms of depression. [3]

Those individuals who experience sleep disturbances or mental health issues due to social media are not setting boundaries between themselves and their connected devices.

Part of learning how to meditate at home is learning how and when to set boundaries between yourself and your connected devices and social media accounts. If you need your phone for a timed meditation practice, but you normally receive social media notifications on your phone, set it on Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode during your meditation time.

4. Flow into Meditation Through Time

Next, set aside a time for meditation each day. It’s right to be structured and disciplined about your meditation time.

Buddhist monks whose lives revolve around meditation are very structured and organized with their tasks each day. Structure provides the balance your being needs. Once you are meditating, your mind has no need for time. Outside of your given meditation time, you are completing tasks essential to the wellbeing of yourself and your home.

Consider meditating as the sun rises. This is a quiet and contemplative time of the day when it is natural to set your day’s balance through meditation.

5. Recognize the Rightness of Doing Nothing

At home, you’re probably used to always doing something. When you do meditation at home, you are being, which is doing something and nothing simultaneously.

Maryville University points out that successful people unplug by doing nothing. [4] Not only this, but they set the right expectations for the time during which they will do nothing.

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We oftentimes look forward to the future by expecting something to happen and by expecting something of ourselves. To meditate from home, look to that time and that space by expecting nothing. You will not do any chores. You will not catch up on work. You will do nothing but meditate for a certain amount of time each day.

This might sound crazy, but in taking on meditation from home, you’re not expecting yourself to improve and become a better person. As Ram Dass put it, you are expecting yourself to be here now.

6. Choose from the Incredible Variety of Meditative Practices

As I outlined in my post on types of meditation, there are many different and not-so-different types of meditation from which to choose.

Many beginners find it right to choose guided meditation, for which there are apps, videos, and audio tapes available.

If you are not necessarily a beginner but are merely moving your meditative practice into the home, you can facilitate a practice such as Nada Yoga — sound meditation — by placing a fountain in your space or listening to ambient alpha wave music.

If you’re used to meditating outside of your home — perhaps you are drawn to the outdoors because of the sounds of nature — a practice like Nada Yoga can help you transition into your home space.

7. Understand You Can Meditate Any Time at Home

What if I told you to throw out all of the tips that came before this? Sounds crazy but that is how radical mindfulness meditation really is. We don’t think of it as radical because it is now ingrained in our popular discourse.

Mindfulness meditation does start as a sitting meditation practice. It goes like this:

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  1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
  2. Focus on breathing. Inhale through your nose slowly and exhale slowly.
  3. As distracting thoughts arise, don’t judge them and don’t hang onto them. Let each thought go as you focus on breathing.
  4. Treat all physical sensations and feelings in the same way you do thoughts: register them, then let them go, returning to breathing.
  5. Extend this practice to everyday activity, remaining “in the moment” of the body’s activity with each new breath.

As you practice mindfulness around your home, note the physical characteristics of the things in themselves. Note physical sensations: sounds, smells, textures, appearances, tastes. Stop now and then and do a body scan from head to toe, noting what each section is doing and how it’s feeling.

Note thoughts that come and the emotions attached to them: let them go. Concentrate on the breath and the physical activities — including the details of the objects with which you’re interacting.

You’ll notice that your home will lend itself to a meditative state when things are in order. This is where true feng shui originates. You will naturally sense how the arrangement of things affects the energy in a room.

Clutter will disappear because mindfulness tells you to dispose of unnecessary things. Plants will bloom. Birds will make their nests in your backyard. Your home will smell pleasing and people will naturally be attracted to it and your presence.

You’ve Reached the Beginning and the End

Once you are able to do mindfulness meditation even as you are attending to the normal and abnormal requirements of your home, the mundane and the unusual, you are at both the beginning and the end.

You are at the beginning because meditation never ends. Continue setting aside time each day to do sitting meditation in the space you’ve set aside. Continue practicing mindfulness as you attend to the energy of your house, your own energy, and the energy of those around you.

You are at the end because you grasped what it means to do meditation at home: it means letting go of cares and concerns and being in your home as you attend to the right tasks. The right tasks are those necessary for being in your home.

As you sit in your home, rise, open the door and you leave, you are calm in your mind because you are home.

Featured photo credit: Simon Rae via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Healthline: 12 Science-Based Benefits of Meditation
[2]Marquette University: Feng Shui: The Wind and Water
[3]Rutgers University: Social Media and Well-Being
[4]Maryville University: How Successful People Unplug

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