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How to Negotiate When the Person You’re Talking to Is Stubborn

How to Negotiate When the Person You’re Talking to Is Stubborn

It can be very frustrating when the person you are talking to is stubborn. It can feel like they are not willing to listen to a word that you are saying, which makes you wonder why you are even bothering to make your point in the first place.

However it may be more than just stubbornness that is stopping your friend from changing their mind. According to psychologists, the more one person tries to convince someone else of something they don’t agree with, the more the other person will blindly stand their ground. [1]

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This might make it seem like it is impossible to change their mind, but that isn’t the case. In reality you can use useful negotiation tips to help the other person see your point of view, and this can be beneficial for both of you; it opens your minds up to new ideas and it makes it easier for you to understand each other.

If you want someone to see your point of view, here are four useful negotiation tactics that will help.

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Present Both Sides Of The Argument

It may seem counter intuitive to present the other person’s side of the argument as well as your own, but in reality this will make you seem more rational and reasonable. If you want to change someone’s mind about something you need to make sure that they don’t dig their heels in and start feeling defensive, which will happen if you only present your own side of the argument. They will feel like they have to defend their side, which will quickly disintegrate into a disagreement that can’t be resolved.

If you present both sides of the argument you are giving the other person a reason to try and see your point of view so that you can co-operate with each other.

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Focus On Showing Them The Whole Picture, Rather Than Trying To Prove Them Wrong

It can be tempting to prove the other person wrong as soon as you realise that you disagree with their point, but instead you show present the whole picture. Instead of focusing on the disagreement between the pair of you, focus on the underlying problem that bothers both of you. For instance, maybe your friend has a different political opinion to you, but it is likely that you both want the best for your country in all senses; economically, politically and socially.

Bring the argument around to the points that you can agree on, so that the other person knows that you both have similar interests. This will make it easier for you both to discuss your opinions with a positive mind set.

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Highlight The Negative Parts Of Your Argument

No-one likes to acknowledge that their argument is flawed, but if someone disagrees with you that means they must perceive flaws in your argument. For this reason they will find your points more credible if you highlight the negative parts of your argument. This will make you seem reasonable and rational, and it will make it seem like you have spent a lot of time thinking about both sides of the argument before settling on an opinion. You can even put a positive spin on the negative points to help them see the argument from your perspective!

Point Out That In The End It Is Their Decision

Stubborn people will feel defensive and annoyed if they think that you are forcing your opinions on them or trying to change their mind, so you should remember to take the time to point out that in the end it is their decision. You may be debating with them and providing them with useful facts, but you are not trying to shove your opinion down their throat; they are free to refuse or accept your opinions.

Reference

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on April 1, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we often think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. Many try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as their ultimate goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from them.

But, what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?

It’s a lot like your favorite food. The more often you have it isn’t always better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

Always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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Video Summary

Don’t Assume Others Are Always Happy

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives. So, it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires have their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But, I got through them; and, weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.  Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time now seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop Trying to Be Happy–Just Be

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.

So what can we do?

First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s through experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing similar trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.

It sounds like a paradox. But, what I mean is to accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment, flash back your memory to when you didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But, when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when I hit tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and Sadness Exist Together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments–happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But, your life will also be filled with rain and storms that never seem like they will pass while you’re going through them.

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But, whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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