Advertising
Advertising

How to Spot a Compulsive Liar Before Starting a Relationship

How to Spot a Compulsive Liar Before Starting a Relationship

Lying is morally wrong but it is also quite normal. Everyone does it. In fact, one researcher said [1] that lying is an unavoidable part of human nature.

How many times have your loved ones asked if you were ok and you said that you were, when in fact you were not? Or have you ever been running late and told your friend that you would be there in five minutes when you knew fully well that it would take at least ten? And what about when toddlers say that they haven’t eaten any chocolates despite having their face smeared with it?

At a certain age, we learn that lying is hurtful and most people will develop a good set of morals to try to hurt other people as little as possible. Pathological lying, however, is very different.

Advertising

What is pathological lying?

I once knew a girl who was charming, sociable and gregarious. Over time, however, I started noticing too many inconsistencies in her stories and claims that were blatant untruths. Whenever she was caught out, instead of confessing like a normal person, her pathological lying continued to the point that she even created further lies.

Scientists have discovered that there are brain abnormalities in pathological liars[2]. The prefrontal cortex at the front of the brain is responsible for remorse and morals. Brain scans revealed that those inclined to pathological lying had much less grey matter in this area.

What signs should you look for?

Contradictions

Their stories are inconsistent and will eventually begin to become undone over time.

Advertising

Attention seekers

They will go to lengths to concoct elaborate, grandiose stories or achievements, in order to get them the attention or admiration they want.

Defensiveness

The goal of pathological lying is to manipulate you. If you question something that may seem inconsistent, they will instinctively get very defensive or possibly even angry.

Master liars

It may take a substantial amount of time before you are able to detect their web of lies because it is an art they have perfected. If they suspect that they may be found out, they will simply make up another lie to cover things up.

Advertising

Asking you to repeat yourself

If they are caught off-guard, they may ask you to repeat what you have said so that they have enough time to fabricate something else for you to believe.

Unafraid of their lies

They lie with no regard or fear of the consequences or how it may impact the other person.

What you should know about dealing with a pathological liar

They spend time studying you

It’s important for them to study you in order to learn what your weaknesses are and to be able to take advantage of you. They will get an understanding of how to sway you and what things you may or may not believe.

Advertising

They lack empathy

It is not possible for them to feel remorse for their actions like a normal person because of how their brain is wired. They lack the ability to be concerned about if they may hurt you or how their lies could impact you. Do not expect them to sympathize with you or see the results of their actions. They are, however, able to feign emotions if it benefits them.

They will use whatever means necessary, whether psychological, emotional or sexual, in order to deceive you into whatever they desire. This sense of “connection” that you will feel towards them causes you to lose your guard and feel a false sense of trust.

There is no cure for pathological lying

In order to get treatment, they would first need to admit they have a problem, which they will rarely do. Furthermore, a lot of psychologists would not agree to treat them, since they are often unable to be truthful in sessions. Lying is second nature to them and simply, they do not know how to exist without doing it.

Reference

[1] BBC: Lying
[2] Livestrong.com: Treatment for a Pathological Liar

More by this author

J.S. von Dacre

Writer at Lifehack

Alert: If You Always Avoid Things You Fear, You May Have This Issue 10 Best Romance Movies That Reflect the Harsh Reality of Relationships Things Parents Do Unconsciously That Make Their Kids Become Codependent If You’re Overly Dependent, Probably It Is Due to the Scars of Childhood 90% of People Confuse Codependency with Intense Love. Are You One of Them?

Trending in Psychology

1 4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting 2 How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing 3 How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy 4 The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected 5 Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 17, 2020

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting

Are you bored at work right now?

Sitting at your desk, wishing you could be anywhere other than here, doing anything else…?

You’re not alone.

Even when you have a job you love, it’s easy to get bored. And if your job isn’t something you’re passionate about, it’s even easier for boredom to creep in.

Did you know it’s actually possible to make any job more interesting?

That’s right.

Whether it’s data entry or shelf stacking, even the most mind-numbing of jobs can be made more fun.

Advertising

Understanding the science behind boredom is the first step to beating it.

Read on to learn the truth about boredom, and what you can do to stop feeling bored at work for good.

VIDEO SUMMARY

I’m bored – as you’re watching the same film over and over again, even though it’s your favorite one

When you experience something new, your brain releases opioids – chemicals which make you feel good. [1]

It’s the feeling you might get when you taste a new food for the first time, watch a cool new film, or meet a new person.

However, the next time you have the same experience, the brain processes it in a different way, without releasing so many feel-good chemicals.

That’s why you won’t get the same thrill when you eat that delicious meal for the tenth time, rewatch that film again, or spend time with the same friend.

So, in a nutshell, we get bored when we aren’t having any new experiences.

Advertising

Now, new experiences don’t have to be huge life changes – they could be as simple as taking a different route to work, or picking a different sandwich shop for lunch.

We’re going to apply this theory to your boring job.

Keep reading find out how to make subtle changes to the way you work to defeat boredom and have more fun.

Your work can be much more interesting if you learn these little tricks.

Ready to learn how to stop feeling so bored at work?

We’ve listed some simple suggestions below – you can start implementing these right now.

Let’s do this.

Make routine tasks more interesting by adding something new

Sometimes one new element is all it takes to turn routine tasks from dull to interesting.

Advertising

Maybe there’s a long drive you have to make every single week. You get so bored, going the same old route to make the same old deliveries.

Why not make it a routine to create a playlist of new music each Sunday, to listen to on your boring drive during the week?

Just like that, something you dread can be turned into the highlight of your day.

For other routine tasks, you could try setting a timer and trying to beat your record, moving to a new location to complete the task, or trying out a new technique for getting the work done – you might even improve your productivity, too.

Combine repetitive tasks to get them out of the way

Certain tasks are difficult to make interesting, no matter how hard you try.

Get these yawn-inducing chores out of the way ASAP by combining them into one quick, focused batch.

For example, if you hate listening to meeting recordings, and dislike tidying your desk, do them both at the same time. You’ll halve the time you spend bored out of your mind, and can move onto more interesting tasks as soon as you’re done.

Advertising

Break large tasks into small pieces and plan breaks between them

Feeling overwhelmed can lead you to procrastinate and get bored. Try breaking up large tasks into lots of small pieces to keep things manageable and fun.

Try breaking up a 10,000 word report into 1000-word sections. Reward yourself at the end of each section, and you’ll get 10 mini mood boosts, instead of just one at the end.

You can also plan short breaks between each section, which will help to prevent boredom and keep you focused.

Give yourself regular rewards, it can be anything that makes you feel good

Make sure you reward yourself for achievements, even if they feel small.

Rewards could include:

  • Eating your favourite snack.
  • Taking a walk in a natural area.
  • Spending a few minutes on a fun online game.
  • Buying yourself a small treat.
  • Visiting a new place.
  • Spending time on a favourite hobby.

Your brain will come to associate work with fun rewards, and you’ll soon feel less bored and more motivated.

Boredom doesn’t have to be a fact of life.

Make your working life feel a thousand times more fun by following the simple tips above.

Reference

[1] Psychology Today: Why People Get Bored

Read Next