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The Earlier a Child Starts to Lie, the Smarter They Are

The Earlier a Child Starts to Lie, the Smarter They Are

Lying is bad, and you shouldn’t do it. Right?

It turns out that lying may not actually be as bad as people believe. In our society lying is frowned up, and many people believe that liars are untrustworthy, self-serving people who try to take advantage of the other people around them.

While this can be true sometimes, it isn’t always the case. Of course no-one likes the idea of being lied to, especially if the liar is their partner or friend, but it turns out that liars aren’t necessarily bad people. In fact, they may be smarter and more successful than the people who lie less frequently!

Here is everything you need to know about lying.

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Lying May Be A Sign Of Success

Most parents hate the idea of their child lying to them, but recent research has found that it could be an indicator of success [1]. The research, which was completed at the Institute of Child Study at the University of Toronto, has found that children who can lie effectively may be more successful in later life.

It can be tempting to think that all lies are bad, but when children lie it is an indicator of intelligence. This is because intelligence is required to work out if you should lie or not, so the earlier a child starts to lie, the smarter they are!

Lying also helps children to develop an executive function in their brain, which gives them the ability to know the truth but to keep it in their mind so they can solve the problem in another way.

The study director Dr. Kang Lee said that lying in children could mean that they will one day grow up to be bankers or politicians. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should try to raise a liar, but it is important to be aware that lying isn’t always a bad thing – especially when children do it.

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Lies Are A Normal Part Of Society

Do you think that you are a liar? Most people like to imagine that they are honest and fair, but Bella De Paulo, a PhD professor from the University of Virginia, believes that no-one can go three weeks without lying. [2]

That’s right; no-one! Every year the professor challenges her students to go three weeks without lying, and every year they always fail. But why is this?

DePaulo told Psychology Today that; “Everyday lies are really part of the fabric of social life.” While some lies are self-serving and manipulative, most lies just help to smooth over awkward or unpleasant situations, or they help protect the egos of your loved ones.

Can You Go Three Weeks Without Lying?

It seems that lying is a normal part of society, but it is important to distinguish the difference between different lies. While a little white lie can actually benefit your relationships, choosing to manipulate others for your own gain is something that should generally be avoided.

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However, new research from Ben-Gurion University of the Negev has found that people will often make self-serving decisions in ambiguous situations. [3]

For example, people are more likely to lie and alter numbers if it means that they will be paid more. In one experiment the researchers asked participants to watch a computer screen as it shows the rolls of six different dice. With each role the participants were asked to report the number of the dice that fell closest to a target on the screen. The participants were also told that they would be paid for the number, and the number the number the higher the pay out.

The researchers found that participants were likely to tell small lies to benefit themselves. For instance, many participants reported the wrong dice with a higher number to increase their pay out. This may seem devious, but most people don’t actually view this behaviour as cheating (when they are doing it themselves). This is because the ambiguousness of the situation allows the person to validate their behaviour.

Shaul Shalvi, the study co-author, said; “People will bend the rules to the extent that they can maintain an honest self-view.”

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“The more ambiguous the situation, the more likely people are to view the facts in a way that will serve their self-interest.”

This indicates that lying is an avoidable part of society, and it isn’t all bad. Lying in children is often an indicator of future success, and many adults tell small lies to further their personal success – especially if they are in an ambiguous situation. Of course, everyone should avoid pathological lying!

Reference

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Published on November 28, 2018

How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind

How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind

The woman in yoga pants sitting in a lotus position atop a rocky cliff, overlooking a valley draped in fog — this is the glamorized version of meditation you’ll come across as you search. Yet if you’re seeking meditation to calm your mind, a fantastic setting with no distractions is rarely available.

So how to do meditation?

The truth about meditation is it’s an everyday practice for anybody. You could be a mountain climber or you could be an accountant — either way, your home is just as good a place for meditation as any.

Are you seeking to corral your racing thoughts and relieve a sense of unease, awkwardness, or uncertainty? Look to home meditation to cultivate a laid-back, creative, confident, and organized frame of mind. According to extensive scientific research, meditation relieves stress and anxiety, decreases blood pressure, improves sleep, and improves your ability to pay attention. [1]

From start to finish, this article will give you quick, easy steps to follow so that you can meditate at home regularly. You’ll begin by assessing, identifying and altering things that need to change in your home environment. You’ll end by understanding the basics of meditation so that you can let yourself do what you already know how to do deep down in the hidden reality of your mind.

You’re ready to let your mind be, and just be, in your own home — let’s begin.

1. Find the Right Space in Your Home

Where is your right space for meditation at home? Is it in your basement, your bedroom, your living room, or your study?

The right space will be one with the least distractions built in to its purpose. In that case, it may be your bedroom. If you’ve set up your bedroom to be a place for sleep and only sleep, it will lend itself well to meditation.

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The right space will also be a reasonably spacious one. Although comfort is not your goal, you need room to sit. Choose a space that is private, spacious, and quiet. If you don’t have a space in your home like this, create one. Free it from clutter and get it ready for you to meditate there any time.

Ultimately, your right space is one you feel comfortable meditating in, the space you can enter with no other expectations.

2. Improve the Feng Shui in Your Home and Meditation Space

Feng shui means “wind and water.” It’s the ancient Chinese art of placement.[2]

Feng shui improves harmony with nature. Adherents to the principles of feng shui believe all things have energy (chi). The focus of feng shui is to send negative chi (sha) out of the space and attract positive chi (yun).

Here’s the truth about feng shui: it’s not complicated or hard. The following will influence feng shui positively in your home and meditation space:

  • Living things, such as plants
  • Beautiful objects, such as sculptures or even a well-polished piece of driftwood
  • Mirrors in symmetrical placement with the lines in a room
  • Mellifluous sounds, such as trickling water or wind chimes
  • Furniture away from walls
  • A centerpiece, such as a small table with books or an ornate lamp on it
  • Incense or something else that smells good
  • A lack of clutter and an attention to organization that emphasizes the usefulness, purpose, and essential being of each item in your house

Given that feng shui is connected to Taoism and Buddhism, it will complement the meditative atmosphere you want to cultivate in your home.

3. Eliminate Pervasive Distractions That Can Harm Your Wellbeing

In part, meditation is about accepting the existence of distractions. When you meditate, you don’t judge and assign a positive or a negative value to distractions — the ticking of a clock, an itch, the barking of a dog — you let them occur and let them dissipate like waves.

However, in the same way that feng shui removes objects that attract negative chi, there are certain types of distractions that don’t belong in your meditative space. You must remove them.

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In a survey of 1,700 people who visited social media sites at least 30 times per week, 30 percent reported high levels of sleep disturbance and 25 percent presented symptoms of depression. [3]

Those individuals who experience sleep disturbances or mental health issues due to social media are not setting boundaries between themselves and their connected devices.

Part of learning how to meditate at home is learning how and when to set boundaries between yourself and your connected devices and social media accounts. If you need your phone for a timed meditation practice, but you normally receive social media notifications on your phone, set it on Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode during your meditation time.

4. Flow into Meditation Through Time

Next, set aside a time for meditation each day. It’s right to be structured and disciplined about your meditation time.

Buddhist monks whose lives revolve around meditation are very structured and organized with their tasks each day. Structure provides the balance your being needs. Once you are meditating, your mind has no need for time. Outside of your given meditation time, you are completing tasks essential to the wellbeing of yourself and your home.

Consider meditating as the sun rises. This is a quiet and contemplative time of the day when it is natural to set your day’s balance through meditation.

5. Recognize the Rightness of Doing Nothing

At home, you’re probably used to always doing something. When you do meditation at home, you are being, which is doing something and nothing simultaneously.

Maryville University points out that successful people unplug by doing nothing. [4] Not only this, but they set the right expectations for the time during which they will do nothing.

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We oftentimes look forward to the future by expecting something to happen and by expecting something of ourselves. To meditate from home, look to that time and that space by expecting nothing. You will not do any chores. You will not catch up on work. You will do nothing but meditate for a certain amount of time each day.

This might sound crazy, but in taking on meditation from home, you’re not expecting yourself to improve and become a better person. As Ram Dass put it, you are expecting yourself to be here now.

6. Choose from the Incredible Variety of Meditative Practices

As I outlined in my post on types of meditation, there are many different and not-so-different types of meditation from which to choose.

Many beginners find it right to choose guided meditation, for which there are apps, videos, and audio tapes available.

If you are not necessarily a beginner but are merely moving your meditative practice into the home, you can facilitate a practice such as Nada Yoga — sound meditation — by placing a fountain in your space or listening to ambient alpha wave music.

If you’re used to meditating outside of your home — perhaps you are drawn to the outdoors because of the sounds of nature — a practice like Nada Yoga can help you transition into your home space.

7. Understand You Can Meditate Any Time at Home

What if I told you to throw out all of the tips that came before this? Sounds crazy but that is how radical mindfulness meditation really is. We don’t think of it as radical because it is now ingrained in our popular discourse.

Mindfulness meditation does start as a sitting meditation practice. It goes like this:

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  1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
  2. Focus on breathing. Inhale through your nose slowly and exhale slowly.
  3. As distracting thoughts arise, don’t judge them and don’t hang onto them. Let each thought go as you focus on breathing.
  4. Treat all physical sensations and feelings in the same way you do thoughts: register them, then let them go, returning to breathing.
  5. Extend this practice to everyday activity, remaining “in the moment” of the body’s activity with each new breath.

As you practice mindfulness around your home, note the physical characteristics of the things in themselves. Note physical sensations: sounds, smells, textures, appearances, tastes. Stop now and then and do a body scan from head to toe, noting what each section is doing and how it’s feeling.

Note thoughts that come and the emotions attached to them: let them go. Concentrate on the breath and the physical activities — including the details of the objects with which you’re interacting.

You’ll notice that your home will lend itself to a meditative state when things are in order. This is where true feng shui originates. You will naturally sense how the arrangement of things affects the energy in a room.

Clutter will disappear because mindfulness tells you to dispose of unnecessary things. Plants will bloom. Birds will make their nests in your backyard. Your home will smell pleasing and people will naturally be attracted to it and your presence.

You’ve Reached the Beginning and the End

Once you are able to do mindfulness meditation even as you are attending to the normal and abnormal requirements of your home, the mundane and the unusual, you are at both the beginning and the end.

You are at the beginning because meditation never ends. Continue setting aside time each day to do sitting meditation in the space you’ve set aside. Continue practicing mindfulness as you attend to the energy of your house, your own energy, and the energy of those around you.

You are at the end because you grasped what it means to do meditation at home: it means letting go of cares and concerns and being in your home as you attend to the right tasks. The right tasks are those necessary for being in your home.

As you sit in your home, rise, open the door and you leave, you are calm in your mind because you are home.

Featured photo credit: Simon Rae via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Healthline: 12 Science-Based Benefits of Meditation
[2]Marquette University: Feng Shui: The Wind and Water
[3]Rutgers University: Social Media and Well-Being
[4]Maryville University: How Successful People Unplug

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