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How to Give a Relationship Another Chance When It’s on the Rocks

How to Give a Relationship Another Chance When It’s on the Rocks

Here you are, sitting next to your lawyer, across the table being your soon-to-be former spouse and their own lawyer, discussing alimony terms,[1] property classification and other important things of your divorce. Because you are divorcing your partner. It’s not the outcome you expected when you got married and you are probably wondering how it all ended this way.

Well, marriage counseling might prevent the divorce and get your relationship on track once again. According to the numbers, marriage counseling helps 7 in 10 couples[2] find their happiness again. The counselor is not going to tell you what to do and how to do, but they will provide you with all the tools needed to fix your relationship. Marriage counselors simply allow the couple to explore their relationship from a new perspective, giving them the opportunity they needed to sort out their issues.

One of the major benefits of going to couple counseling is that you will improve your communication skills,[3] which allows you to solve any future issues that may arise over time. In a relationship, effective communication is the key, so counseling provides you with the means to support your relationship both in the present and in the future.

With this being said, you have to know there are plenty of choices when it comes to couple counseling. Here are 11 options to choose from.

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1. Nancy Graham

Graham is specialized in relationship issues and she thinks people should focus on the positive things in their lives. She is helping couples find their strengths and improve their communication, so they can save their marriage. Graham is a licensed social worker and therapist.

Call or Email Nancy Graham now – (713) 965-6957

2. Yaji Tramontini and Love Therapy Center

Yaji Tramontini is the founder of the Love Therapy Center, where couples benefit from a holistic approach on their relationship. Tramontini uses a method called EMDR therapy, which helps the spouse deal with the painful experiences in their past, which could be ruining the relationship. The therapy center offers a big diversity of services, all based on the belief that unconditional love is the path towards restoring a relationship.

Call or Text directly: (415) 412-6615

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3. Alison Leigh

Leigh is a licensed therapist who can help you focus on healing, instead of the past mistakes. She has over 20 years of experience and she is specialized in Somatic Psychotherapy, a a method which uses the body to access the unconscious, allowing the couple to experience an instant change, unlike other therapy methods. With Leigh you can focus on finding the solutions for your couple problems. She is also specialized in working with LGBT couples.

4. Fiachra O’Sullivan

With a family of psychotherapists on the back, O’Sullivan took his time to become one himself. He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specialized in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. O’Sullivan sees the relationship of a couple as a force that can heal and restore the power, so he helps his clients use that force and mend their relationship. The typical first session is 80 minutes, followed by 50 minutes sessions.

Call or mail at 415.967.3447 / [email protected]

5. Mark Spurlock MFT

Spurlock is in the field of couple counseling for more than two decades, during which he developed his unique therapy method. His sessions are fun and productive, as he uses creative ways to help couples restore their relationship. In the past, Spurlock worked with drug and alcohol addicts, providing therapy for victims of child abuse and domestic violence, which gives him a broad view upon relationships. Most couples will have 45 minutes sessions, once a week.

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Call him at (619)813-0315

6. Michelle Germain

Germain is another experienced therapist with 25 years of practice under her belt. She is also the author of the The Jill Principle: A Woman’s Guide to Healing Your Spirit After Divorce or Breakup and has a master in social work. If you are not in San Diego area, close to Germain, you can have phone therapy sessions with her. Germain’s focus is to approach the individuals wholly, mind, body and soul, so they can improve their couple relationship.

Call her at 760-290-1047 or email [email protected]

7. Dr. Barbara Cunningham

Cunningham has been helping couples restore their relationship for years and she is specialized in a less common type of therapy: divorce therapy. Because she is committed to her work, she offers a free first session, so you can see if she is the right therapist for you. If things go well, you can schedule the rest of the sessions. Cunningham also works with gay and lesbian couples.

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8. Barbara Neal, LPC

Neal approaches couple therapy with a solution-focused method, using her broad experience in the field. She helps couples develop new skills and improve their communication, so they can reach the perfect balance in their relationship. Neal always follows realistic outcomes with her clients. At her clinic there are several insurance plans accepted: BCBS Texas, Blue Cross and Blue Shield, CIGNA, HUMANA and MultiPlan.

9. Dr. Carl Ward, PHD

Dr. Ward believes relationships are indeed complicated and he understands that couples do have their ups and downs. At his clinic, Dr. Ward provides couple therapy for everyone who needs to improve their relationship. With almost three decades of experience, Dr. Ward has handled hundreds of couples, as well as individuals. His clinic accepts four insurance plans: Coventry Health Care, Blue Cross and Blue Shield, HUMANA and MultiPlan.

10. GRASP Group

GRASP’s mission is to support couples to enjoy a healthy relationship. The center provides 50 minutes therapy sessions that offer an insight on the problems you have inside your relationship and a way to solve these problems via effective communication. The Group works with both same sex couples and hetero couples.

11. Symmetry Counseling

The therapists at Symmetry have a pragmatic approach to couple therapy, aiming to help couples see that positive effect as soon as possible and mend their relationship. The licensed therapists provide a supportive environment for couples. The clinic accepts various insurance plans, among which Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO, Aetna, Cigna, Magellan, and Value Options.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1] Tennessee Divorce: Alimony terms
[2] JMFT: Research on the Treatment of Couple Distress
[3] Psychology Today: 7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success

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Last Updated on April 1, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we often think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. Many try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as their ultimate goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from them.

But, what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?

It’s a lot like your favorite food. The more often you have it isn’t always better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

Always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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Video Summary

Don’t Assume Others Are Always Happy

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives. So, it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires have their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But, I got through them; and, weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.  Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time now seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop Trying to Be Happy–Just Be

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.

So what can we do?

First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s through experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing similar trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.

It sounds like a paradox. But, what I mean is to accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment, flash back your memory to when you didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But, when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when I hit tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and Sadness Exist Together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments–happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But, your life will also be filled with rain and storms that never seem like they will pass while you’re going through them.

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But, whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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