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How to Give a Relationship Another Chance When It’s on the Rocks

How to Give a Relationship Another Chance When It’s on the Rocks

Here you are, sitting next to your lawyer, across the table being your soon-to-be former spouse and their own lawyer, discussing alimony terms,[1] property classification and other important things of your divorce. Because you are divorcing your partner. It’s not the outcome you expected when you got married and you are probably wondering how it all ended this way.

Well, marriage counseling might prevent the divorce and get your relationship on track once again. According to the numbers, marriage counseling helps 7 in 10 couples[2] find their happiness again. The counselor is not going to tell you what to do and how to do, but they will provide you with all the tools needed to fix your relationship. Marriage counselors simply allow the couple to explore their relationship from a new perspective, giving them the opportunity they needed to sort out their issues.

One of the major benefits of going to couple counseling is that you will improve your communication skills,[3] which allows you to solve any future issues that may arise over time. In a relationship, effective communication is the key, so counseling provides you with the means to support your relationship both in the present and in the future.

With this being said, you have to know there are plenty of choices when it comes to couple counseling. Here are 11 options to choose from.

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1. Nancy Graham

Graham is specialized in relationship issues and she thinks people should focus on the positive things in their lives. She is helping couples find their strengths and improve their communication, so they can save their marriage. Graham is a licensed social worker and therapist.

Call or Email Nancy Graham now – (713) 965-6957

2. Yaji Tramontini and Love Therapy Center

Yaji Tramontini is the founder of the Love Therapy Center, where couples benefit from a holistic approach on their relationship. Tramontini uses a method called EMDR therapy, which helps the spouse deal with the painful experiences in their past, which could be ruining the relationship. The therapy center offers a big diversity of services, all based on the belief that unconditional love is the path towards restoring a relationship.

Call or Text directly: (415) 412-6615

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3. Alison Leigh

Leigh is a licensed therapist who can help you focus on healing, instead of the past mistakes. She has over 20 years of experience and she is specialized in Somatic Psychotherapy, a a method which uses the body to access the unconscious, allowing the couple to experience an instant change, unlike other therapy methods. With Leigh you can focus on finding the solutions for your couple problems. She is also specialized in working with LGBT couples.

4. Fiachra O’Sullivan

With a family of psychotherapists on the back, O’Sullivan took his time to become one himself. He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specialized in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. O’Sullivan sees the relationship of a couple as a force that can heal and restore the power, so he helps his clients use that force and mend their relationship. The typical first session is 80 minutes, followed by 50 minutes sessions.

Call or mail at 415.967.3447 / [email protected]

5. Mark Spurlock MFT

Spurlock is in the field of couple counseling for more than two decades, during which he developed his unique therapy method. His sessions are fun and productive, as he uses creative ways to help couples restore their relationship. In the past, Spurlock worked with drug and alcohol addicts, providing therapy for victims of child abuse and domestic violence, which gives him a broad view upon relationships. Most couples will have 45 minutes sessions, once a week.

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Call him at (619)813-0315

6. Michelle Germain

Germain is another experienced therapist with 25 years of practice under her belt. She is also the author of the The Jill Principle: A Woman’s Guide to Healing Your Spirit After Divorce or Breakup and has a master in social work. If you are not in San Diego area, close to Germain, you can have phone therapy sessions with her. Germain’s focus is to approach the individuals wholly, mind, body and soul, so they can improve their couple relationship.

Call her at 760-290-1047 or email [email protected]

7. Dr. Barbara Cunningham

Cunningham has been helping couples restore their relationship for years and she is specialized in a less common type of therapy: divorce therapy. Because she is committed to her work, she offers a free first session, so you can see if she is the right therapist for you. If things go well, you can schedule the rest of the sessions. Cunningham also works with gay and lesbian couples.

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8. Barbara Neal, LPC

Neal approaches couple therapy with a solution-focused method, using her broad experience in the field. She helps couples develop new skills and improve their communication, so they can reach the perfect balance in their relationship. Neal always follows realistic outcomes with her clients. At her clinic there are several insurance plans accepted: BCBS Texas, Blue Cross and Blue Shield, CIGNA, HUMANA and MultiPlan.

9. Dr. Carl Ward, PHD

Dr. Ward believes relationships are indeed complicated and he understands that couples do have their ups and downs. At his clinic, Dr. Ward provides couple therapy for everyone who needs to improve their relationship. With almost three decades of experience, Dr. Ward has handled hundreds of couples, as well as individuals. His clinic accepts four insurance plans: Coventry Health Care, Blue Cross and Blue Shield, HUMANA and MultiPlan.

10. GRASP Group

GRASP’s mission is to support couples to enjoy a healthy relationship. The center provides 50 minutes therapy sessions that offer an insight on the problems you have inside your relationship and a way to solve these problems via effective communication. The Group works with both same sex couples and hetero couples.

11. Symmetry Counseling

The therapists at Symmetry have a pragmatic approach to couple therapy, aiming to help couples see that positive effect as soon as possible and mend their relationship. The licensed therapists provide a supportive environment for couples. The clinic accepts various insurance plans, among which Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO, Aetna, Cigna, Magellan, and Value Options.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1] Tennessee Divorce: Alimony terms
[2] JMFT: Research on the Treatment of Couple Distress
[3] Psychology Today: 7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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