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30 Beautiful Ways to Say I Love You to the One You Care

30 Beautiful Ways to Say I Love You to the One You Care

Did you know that in ancient cultures, May was the month that many celebrated love and getting married? It’s an old May Day tradition, from Germany, that included the Maypole Dance for eligible young women. So it’s no coincidence that we are talking about love in a month that was originally all about love!

Speak Those Magic Words!

Saying “I love you” for the first time can be one of the most scariest endeavors in a person’s life. It’s a vulnerable moment and you aren’t quite sure if the person you love feels the same way. While we don’t always get the same validation, we certainly want it! When to say I love you is often the other hurdle to overcome. Not everyone wants to have a cliche movie moment standing in the rain declaring love after a little argument. And yet, some people do want a very dramatic way of saying those three little words.

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Avoid the Autopilot

Some of you out there may have already said it but now it feels like you are on autopilot. My sweetheart and I tell each other every morning and every evening we love each other. While it’s comforting, it can also easily lose it’s meaning without expressing it in other ways. It is important to express it in more than just words because our actions show more about how we truly feel for someone.

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Remember, Not All Love Needs to Be Romantic

Let’s also acknowledge that not all love is romantic in nature. We have familial love for our children, parents, and extended family. We have platonic love for our friends and even close acquaintances. We may say “I love you” to a lot of people in the course of our lifetime, all of which enjoy hearing those words but can benefit from various forms of expression as well. I am going to provide a few ways to express love to different types of relationships. I challenge you to try them over the next 30 days and see how it affects your relationships and your every day life!

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Express love to your partner (or your friends and family!)

  1. Create a music playlist of love songs for them to listen to when you are away.
  2. Create a power point on why you love them.
  3. Cook one of their favorite dishes.
  4. Dance together, even if you don’t know how!
  5. Plan a romantic getaway for the weekend and surprise them.
  6. Give them a hug and then hold tight and prolong it.
  7. Picnic at the park at sunset so you can watch it together.
  8. Kiss them and kiss them often.
  9. Talk about that first time you met and why you were so attracted to them.
  10. Save cards, event tickets, and dried flowers.
  11. Write them love letters. Leave them where they can find them or mail them.
  12. Take selfies often!
  13. When they do something sweet, make you laugh, or just talk about something they are passionate about, remind them that it’s why you love them.
  14. Buy them a cup of their favorite coffee or tea.
  15. When they do something special, remind them that it’s why you are together.
  16. Bring them ice cream when they are sad.
  17. Call them up and just ask them what’s going on in their lives.
  18. Have a “friends date” once a month.
  19. Be available when they are having a hard time.
  20. Be available when they are experiencing immense joy.
  21. Buy them that book they haven’t bought for themselves.
  22. Throw them a birthday party.
  23. Send them a card in the mail letting them know they are special, for no reason!
  24. When they talk about something personal, listen first. Don’t hurry to offer advice.
  25. Leave a random note on the car windshield that says “I appreciate you”.
  26. Take them to a movie that you know they love and you would never see on your own.
  27. Go to networking events with them. Let them know their success matters!
  28. When tragedy strikes, hold one another.
  29. When joy occurs, laugh and smile with one another.
  30. Tell them why you appreciate them.

There are so many ways to express love without sticking to the three magical words. What is your favorite way to express love?

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

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Angela Kunschmann

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Last Updated on February 19, 2019

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

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Pain Is Our Guardian

Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

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No Pain, No Happiness

You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

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This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

Allow Room for the Inevitable

Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

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You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1] University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
[2] Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

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