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Last Updated on May 29, 2018

We Are Living in a Generation Where Everyone Defines Cheating Differently

We Are Living in a Generation Where Everyone Defines Cheating Differently

According to a research,[1] 60 percent of men and 45 percent of women are cheating on their spouse. These figures are scary and alarming considering that when you fall in love your aspiration is that it never ends.

When Love Goes Wrong, Cheating Arises

Love is only possible when a certain degree of individual development and self confidence has been built. This is as a result of a psychological evolution that is achieved when one has learned to respect oneself and to love oneself.

Falling in love occurs when we believe we have found our ideal someone, who completes and satisfies us. But, behind that quest for perfection lies a demand for the other, fear of unbearable disappointment and cheating when the relationship does not meet our expectations.

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Cheating Is More Than A Betrayal

Over the last years, cheating has increased and this has been a major factor of relationships ending. However, most people in relationships don’t know if they can trust their partners’ loyalty. This has raised many advice articles and more on how to know when a partner is cheating or articles outlining steps to get your ex back.[2]

One question that usually bothers those who are not able to get back on their feet after a cheating experience, is the question if love makes us wiser or rather reveals the real nature of our partners. A good relationship is not based on waiting for our imaginary partner to become real, nor on asking the real partner to match our defined requirements. Cheating usually begins with a long series of grievances over respect, differences and submission.

Most people see cheating as a weakness or an ego booster. I will seek to reveal the intent behind cheating from the perspective of men and woman respectively, the triggers, signals which should not be confused with cheating, and more.

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What Surveys Tell Us About Signs That Someone Is Cheating

Different behaviors and attitudes can be classified as cheating.[3] Basically, most people consider sex and other intimate physical contact to be cheating. But a distinction must be made to reveal that men usually define it physically while women define it emotionally.

A 2013 journal by the University of Michigan[4] asked 456 undergraduates to rate 27 different behaviors (sexual, erotic, and more) on a scale of 1-100, showing how strongly they are considered to be cheating. The higher the number the more clearly it was cheating for the participants.

Below are some of the results.

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  • Accompanying to a formal event—43.3
  • Going out to dinner—41.4
  • Oral sex—96.8
  • Taking a shower together—96.2
  • Kissing on the lips—88.7
  • Kissing on the cheek—36.9
  • Forming a deep emotional bond—52.4
  • Spending lots of time together—52.2
  • Sitting in the other person’s lap—52.2
  • 10. Sharing secrets—36.5
  • 11. Supporting the other person financially—35.8
  • 12. Talking on the phone several times a week—40.1

Other attitudes considered as cheating could be:

  • Become best friends with someone of the opposite sex.
  • Developping a crush for another individual.
  • Sharing your most private thoughts and feelings with someone else.
  • Masturbating.
  • Wearing revealing clothes.
  • Watching Porn.
  • Hugging the opposite sex.
  • Been Cordial With the Opposite Gender.

What Cheating Tells Us About Our Relationship

Everyones desires to have a relationship that will stand the test of time, but most of the times our expectations are caught short. Here are some things cheating implies [5] .

Lack of Acknowledgement

Men and women differ in the way they love, but no matter the gender cheating usually sets in when you refuse to love and aknowledge your partner.

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Sudden Changes

Most people do not realize that changes are healthy, which is why they create tensions. If you realize that you often have mood swings, it is better to let your partner know, because if not, your partner may be shocked by your changed personality and cheat.

Lack of Respect

Love grows when the other person’s freedom is respected. Most times cheating comes into play when you fail to respect your partner.

Lovers Can’t Be Rigid And Stubborn

Cheating[6] signs are visible when a partner is not satisfied. However in a relationship, you must be flexible and accommodate your partner. Honesty will go a long way in all relationship to curb factors triggering cheating.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

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George Olufemi O

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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