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We Are Living in a Generation Where Everyone Defines Cheating Differently

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We Are Living in a Generation Where Everyone Defines Cheating Differently

According to a research,[1] 60 percent of men and 45 percent of women are cheating on their spouse. These figures are scary and alarming considering that when you fall in love your aspiration is that it never ends.

When Love Goes Wrong, Cheating Arises

Love is only possible when a certain degree of individual development and self confidence has been built. This is as a result of a psychological evolution that is achieved when one has learned to respect oneself and to love oneself.

Falling in love occurs when we believe we have found our ideal someone, who completes and satisfies us. But, behind that quest for perfection lies a demand for the other, fear of unbearable disappointment and cheating when the relationship does not meet our expectations.

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Cheating Is More Than A Betrayal

Over the last years, cheating has increased and this has been a major factor of relationships ending. However, most people in relationships don’t know if they can trust their partners’ loyalty. This has raised many advice articles and more on how to know when a partner is cheating or articles outlining steps to get your ex back.[2]

One question that usually bothers those who are not able to get back on their feet after a cheating experience, is the question if love makes us wiser or rather reveals the real nature of our partners. A good relationship is not based on waiting for our imaginary partner to become real, nor on asking the real partner to match our defined requirements. Cheating usually begins with a long series of grievances over respect, differences and submission.

Most people see cheating as a weakness or an ego booster. I will seek to reveal the intent behind cheating from the perspective of men and woman respectively, the triggers, signals which should not be confused with cheating, and more.

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What Surveys Tell Us About Signs That Someone Is Cheating

Different behaviors and attitudes can be classified as cheating.[3] Basically, most people consider sex and other intimate physical contact to be cheating. But a distinction must be made to reveal that men usually define it physically while women define it emotionally.

A 2013 journal by the University of Michigan[4] asked 456 undergraduates to rate 27 different behaviors (sexual, erotic, and more) on a scale of 1-100, showing how strongly they are considered to be cheating. The higher the number the more clearly it was cheating for the participants.

Below are some of the results.

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  • Accompanying to a formal event—43.3
  • Going out to dinner—41.4
  • Oral sex—96.8
  • Taking a shower together—96.2
  • Kissing on the lips—88.7
  • Kissing on the cheek—36.9
  • Forming a deep emotional bond—52.4
  • Spending lots of time together—52.2
  • Sitting in the other person’s lap—52.2
  • 10. Sharing secrets—36.5
  • 11. Supporting the other person financially—35.8
  • 12. Talking on the phone several times a week—40.1

Other attitudes considered as cheating could be:

  • Become best friends with someone of the opposite sex.
  • Developping a crush for another individual.
  • Sharing your most private thoughts and feelings with someone else.
  • Masturbating.
  • Wearing revealing clothes.
  • Watching Porn.
  • Hugging the opposite sex.
  • Been Cordial With the Opposite Gender.

What Cheating Tells Us About Our Relationship

Everyones desires to have a relationship that will stand the test of time, but most of the times our expectations are caught short. Here are some things cheating implies [5] .

Lack of Acknowledgement

Men and women differ in the way they love, but no matter the gender cheating usually sets in when you refuse to love and aknowledge your partner.

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Sudden Changes

Most people do not realize that changes are healthy, which is why they create tensions. If you realize that you often have mood swings, it is better to let your partner know, because if not, your partner may be shocked by your changed personality and cheat.

Lack of Respect

Love grows when the other person’s freedom is respected. Most times cheating comes into play when you fail to respect your partner.

Lovers Can’t Be Rigid And Stubborn

Cheating[6] signs are visible when a partner is not satisfied. However in a relationship, you must be flexible and accommodate your partner. Honesty will go a long way in all relationship to curb factors triggering cheating.

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Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

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George Olufemi O

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

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20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

Dreams — Mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and sometimes a nightmarish living hell. Dreams are all that and much more.

Here are 20 amazing facts about dreams that you might have never heard about:

Fact #1: You can’t read while dreaming, or tell the time

    If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something. The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams.

    The same goes for clocks: each time you look at a clock it will tell a different time and the hands on the clock won’t appear to be moving as reported by lucid dreamers.

    Fact #2: Lucid dreaming

    There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.

    Want to learn how to control your dreams? You can try these tips:

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    Lucid Dreaming: This Is How You Can Control Your Dreams

    Fact #3: Inventions inspired by dreams

    Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind. A few examples include:

    • The idea for Google -Larry Page
    • Alternating current generator -Tesla
    • DNA’s double helix spiral form -James Watson
    • The sewing machine -Elias Howe
    • Periodic table -Dimitri Mendeleyev

    …and many, many more.

    Fact #4: Premonition dreams

    There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about.

    You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence. The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:

    • Abraham Lincoln dreamt of His Assassination
    • Many of the victims of 9/11 had dreams warning them about the catastrophe
    • Mark Twain’s dream of his brother’s demise
    • 19 verified precognitive dreams about the Titanic catastrophe

    Fact #5: Sleep paralysis

    Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. It’s the stuff of true nightmares. I’ve been a sleep paralysis sufferer as a kid and I can attest to how truly horrible it is.

    Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move (hence paralysis) and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. It doesn’t feel like a dream, but 100% real. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” instinct and the emotions of fear, terror and anxiety. Enough said!

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    Fact #6: REM sleep disorder

    In the state of REM (rapid-eye-movement) stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed. In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down.

    Fact #7: Sexual dreams

    The very scientifically-named “nocturnal penile tumescence” is a very well documented phenomena. In laymen’s term, it simply means that you get a stiffy while you sleep. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream.

    Fact #8: Unbelievable sleepwalkers

      Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. It is an extreme form of REM sleep disorder, and these people don’t just act out their dreams, but go on real adventures at night.

      Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist. Literally. He “sleepdraws” gorgeous portraits, of which he has no recollection afterwards. Strange sleepwalking “adventures” include:

      • A woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking
      • A man who drove 22 miles and killed his cousin while sleepwalking
      • A sleepwalker who walked out of the window from the third floor, and barely survived

      Fact #9: Dream drug

      There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming.

      Fact #10 Dream-catcher

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        The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.

        Fact #11: Increased brain activity

        You would associate sleeping with peace and quiet, but actually our brains are more active during sleep than during the day.

        Fact #12: Creativity and dreams

        As we mentioned before, dreams are responsible for inventions, great artworks and are generally just incredibly interesting. They are also “recharging” our creativity.

        Scientists also say that keeping a dream diary helps with creativity.

        In rare cases of REM disorder, people actually don’t dream at all. These people suffer from significantly decreased creativity and perform badly at tasks requiring creative problem solving.

        Fact #13: Pets dream too

          Our animal companions dream as well. Watch a dog or a cat sleep and you can see that they are moving their paws and making noises like they were chasing something. Go get ’em buddy!

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          Fact #14: You always dream—you just don’t remember it

          Many people claim that they don’t dream at all, but that’s not true: we all dream, but up to 60% of people don’t remember their dreams at all.

          Fact #15: Blind people dream too

          Blind people who were not born blind see images in their dreams but people who were born blind don’t see anything at all. They still dream, and their dreams are just as intense and interesting, but they involve the other senses beside sight.

          Fact #16: In your dreams, you only see faces that you already know

            It is proven that in dreams, we can only see faces that we have seen in real life before. So beware: that scary-looking old lady next to you on the bus might as well be in your next nightmare.

            Fact #17: Dreams tend to be negative

            Surprisingly, dreams are more often negative than positive. The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear.

            Fact #18: Multiple dreams per night

            You can have up to seven different dreams per night depending on how many REM cycles you have. We only dream during the REM period of sleep, and the average person dreams one to two hours every night.

            Fact #19: Gender differences

            Interestingly, 70% of all the characters in a man’s dream are other men, but women’s dream contain an equal amount of women and men. Also men’s dreams contain a lot more aggression. Both women and men dream about sexual themes equally often.

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            Fact #20: Not everyone dreams in color

            As much as 12% of people only dream in black and white.

            Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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