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The Common Quality Successful People Have: High Self Awareness

The Common Quality Successful People Have: High Self Awareness

Highly successful people in business and in other facets of their lives have many qualities. All of the qualities they possess, such as diligence, dedication, attention to detail, and many others mesh together to make an individual with a lot of potential.

The most common characteristic that successful people [1] have is self-awareness. Self-awareness is having insight of one’s inner-most characteristics, such as beliefs, emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. Individuals who are self-aware not only have the ability perceive their own thoughts and feelings, but have the ability to “read” others and the way they are recognized and perceived by them.

In the business world, self-awareness is even more crucial. Gary Vaynerchuk[2], American serial entrepreneur and New York Times bestselling author, believes that self-awareness is your most important attribute. He advised entrepreneurs to “Accept your shortcomings, and strive to become more conscious of who you really are.

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Self-awareness is about “Knowing Thyself”. Here are some ways you can boost your self-awareness for future success!

Meditate to focus on your innermost mind

Taking a short period of time for yourself to connect with your mind can work wonders for your mental health and to improve your self-awareness [3]. Meditation gives you the opportunity to think of nothing and focus on your innermost mind and body. Practicing meditation daily increases your self-awareness by connecting your physical being with your mental being and helps you better understand your own personality.

Don’t ignore your mental chatter

Meditation and mindfulness seem to go hand in hand. According to Tim Ferriss [4], who had interviewed over 200 successful people including Tony Robbins, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Foxx, Peter Thiel, and Maria Popova, concluded that around 80% of them had “some form of guided mindfulness practice [5].

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Being mindful takes practice, but before you know it, you realize you are doing it every second of every day. We all have that inner voice in our minds, and when we get very busy and even stressed, that mental “chatter” sometimes gets ignored. With mindfulness, you adjust your thinking to include listening to the mental voice in your mind. Mindfulness not only makes you more self-aware; it also helps you identify and embrace your all-knowing intuition.

Always stay focused, even if it’s just a small thing

You can increase your self-awareness by remaining focused [6] on the task at hand, while speaking with others, and all throughout your day. In order to keep your focus, it is important to eat well, drink plenty of water, exercise a bit each day, and get plenty of rest. The ability to remain focused for long periods of time will help you be prosperous in your daily endeavors. The mind depends on you to nourish it, and if nourished it will work for you to help your success each day and in the long term.

Embrace your emotions. You don’t have to be happy all the time

This is very important for self-awareness and for your overall success. Oftentimes, our emotions can get the best of us. It is very easy to speak out before thinking, to give a non-verbal expression too quickly, or to have another type of negative reaction before letting something process.

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Success is what you make of it, and in order to always be on your toes and exhibit professionalism, be aware of your triggers. Self-awareness allows you know understand your innermost being, and to know how to keep your emotions in check when something is about to occur. Learning to trust your emotions will help you succeed in all areas of your life.

Boosting self-awareness happens with a little practice and patience. Before you know it, you will know yourself more than anyone, and you will be more cognizant of others toward you. This characteristic will help you go farther in your professional life than you have ever imagined.

Knowing yourself is important, but being you is even more important. After all, what is the point of knowing yourself but you still try to live someone else’s life?

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Finally, let us be reminded by Steve Jobs once again: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Reference

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Liem Nguyen

Entrepreneur

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

He asks you for your opinion, but only follows his own advice regardless of what you say.She loves to talk about herself, everything about her is just better than you.  When you try to share anything happy about yourself, she seriously doubts it.

If you know someone who acts like these examples, there’s a chance they might be a narcissist.

What is a narcissistic personality?

Narcissism is a spectrum personality disorder which most of us have.

In popular culture, narcissism is interpreted as a person who’s in love with themselves, more accurately, their idealized selves. Narcissists believe that they are too unique to be understood and that they are so good that they demand for admiration from others.

Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that,[1]

the narcissist is someone who has buried his true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) describes narcissistic personality as a personality disorder. It is a spectrum disorder, which means it exists on a continuum ranging from some narcissistic traits to the full-blown personality disorder.[2]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not very common, but the truth is, we all have some of the narcissistic traits.

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Traits of a narcissist:

  • They have a deep need for admiration and validation. They think they’re special and too unique to be understood.
  • They feel they are superior to other. They achieve more and know a lot more than you.
  • They do not show their vulnerabilities. They fear what others think of them and they want to remain superior in all situations.
  • They are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. They want to be the centre of attention and believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
  • They are skilled manipulators and are emotionally abusive. They know how to make use of their charm to take advantage of others to get what they want.

How are narcissists different from others?

Narcissism expert and the author of Narcissism in a Nutshell, Zari Ballard, tried to answer some common questions asked by non-narcissists about what a narcissist thinks and feels from a narcissist’s perspective.[3]

Do narcissists know they are narcissists and are they happy?

We could really care less about how others feel. We enjoy our so called cold existence. True narcissists don’t want to change. We feel in total control of our lives using this method.

Do narcissists know or understand right from wrong?

Narcissists know the difference between right and wrong because they understand cause and effect. There is no “guilty conscience” giving them a clue and they are displaying the symptom of being “indifferent to social norms” while most likely presenting as ‘cold-hearted.’

Narcissists have a very different thinking mechanism. They see things from a different perspective. Unlike non-narcissists and empaths, they don’t have much sympathy and are reluctant to show emotions to others.

Why do people become narcissists?

1. Narcissism is vulnerability taken to an extreme.

The root of a narcissistic personality is a strong resistance to feeling vulnerable with anyone.[4]

Narcissists refuse to put themselves in a position where they feel vulnerable. They fear that others will take advantage of their weaknesses, so they learn to camouflage their weaknesses by acting strong and powerful. The think showing emotions to others is a sign of weakness, so they learn to hide their emotions and act cold-hearted most of the times.

Narcissists live in a state of anxiety because they are highly aware of their emotions and how others think of them.

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Vulnerability aversion, is the root of a narcissistic personality.

2. A narcissistic personality could be a result of a wounded past.

Narcissists are desperate to seek validation constantly because they either didn’t feel worthwhile and valued in the past, or were being paid too much attention as the most precious and unique one in the world.

Faulty or inadequate parenting, for example a lack of limit setting, is believed to be a major cause, and both permissive and authoritarian styles of parenting have been found to promote narcissistic symptoms.[5]

Both parents who fail to see the worth in a child, and parents who spoil and give excessive praise to the child promote narcissism as the child grows. While the former ones make the child feel inferior of others and want to get more attention, the latter ones encourage an idealized-self in the child.

How to deal with a narcissist?

1. If someone close to you is a narcissist, embrace the differences.

There’re different personality types and not everyone will think and act the same as you do. Instead of trying to change others, learn to accept the differences and strike a balance when you really have to communicate with them.

2. Don’t try to change them, focus on your own needs.

Try to understand that narcissists are resistant to change, it’s more important for you to see who they really are, instead of who you want them to be. Focus on how you feel, and what you want yourself to be.

Embrace the fact that there’re different types of personality and the only thing you can control is your attitude and your own actions.

3. Recognize what they do only comes from their insecurity.

Narcissists are quite vulnerable deep inside, they question others because that’s how they can make themselves feel better.

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When you learn that what a narcissist does to you is nothing personal, but something that comes from their insecurity, you know that sometimes they just need a certain amount of reassurance.

This is especially important if the narcissist is someone you have to closely work with, or if they’re your family member. The right amount of reassurance can calm them down and get the tasks on hand completed.

4. Ask them what would others think instead of what’d others feel.[6]

Narcissists don’t feel guilty, but they care about how others think of them deep in their heart.

Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein explains:

There are just things, like other people’s feelings, that narcissists rarely consider. If you have their ear, don’t tell them how people might react; instead, ask probing questions. Narcissists are much more likely to act on ideas that they think they thought up themselves.

If you have to work with a narcissist closely, focus on the facts and ideas, not the emotions.

5. Let go of the need of getting a narcissist’s approval.

You’re not who a narcissist says you are. Don’t let their blame game undermine your self-esteem, and don’t argue with them just to defend what you believe is right.

There is no point arguing with a narcissist just to prove them wrong because they will not give in proving themselves right. It’s more likely that you’ll get more upset when they disagree with you in an unpleasant way.

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Know your own worth and detach from a narcissist’s opinion on you.

6. If a narcissist is hurting you, stay away from them.

Remember, a healthy relationship is two-sided. It’s about mutual respect and it’s based on give and take. But any kind of relationship with a narcissist is likely to be the contrary, it’s about making the narcissist happy and constantly supporting them. A relationship like this will only weigh you down and is unhealthy for your growth.

7. Set a boundary and always keep it.

If you’re setting a boundary, you have to be willing to keep it. When a narcissist sees that you’re trying to take back control of your life, they will try to test your limits, it’s just their instinct to do it.

Be prepared that your boundary will be challenged. Make your boundary clear, have all the actions needed to be taken in your mind.

For example, if you have decided to stop communicating with them, they will likely to show up in front of you just to talk to you. Be brave enough to keep your boundary, don’t back down and get close to them again; or else they will not take your boundary seriously any more.

8. Learn when to walk away.

When a narcissist starts to make you feel uncomfortable and doubt about yourself, it’s time to pick yourself up and give yourself enough respect to just walk away from them.

If you’re in love with a narcissist, you should seriously think about ending the relationship and move on for a better life. If the narcissist is your family member, you don’t have to be cruel to them, but it’s better to keep distance from them.

Reference

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