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Can Time Really Heal Us or Not?

Can Time Really Heal Us or Not?

It is very hard to experience heartbreak. It feels like the pain will never end, even though everyone around you is telling you that you will move on.

Break-ups are difficult for everyone involved, whether it was a mutual breakup or a one-sided break-up. The pain can feel almost physical, and the idea of living a normal day-to-day life can feel impossible. Your instincts may be telling you to hide from the pain with a distraction, but in reality, it is best to experience the roller-coaster of emotions that your body is feeling.

At the time the pain will seem intense, and many people will tell you that time is the best healer. But is this actually true? Will time heal your pain?

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The truth is that time will heal your broken heart, but how long this will take varies between people. Everyone has their own individual reaction to rejection and heartbreak, and these reactions will also be shaped by the length of the relationship, your age, and how emotionally involved you were with the other person.

So time will heal you, but in the meantime, you can also do some things to help heal yourself.

Here are seven ways to heal yourself quickly so that you can start letting go.

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Be In A Relationship With Your Best Friends

Your best friends love and care for you in a way that is similar to a romantic relationship – just without the romance! This is why you should spend as much time as you can focusing on the positive, loving relationships you have with your best friends, instead of thinking about your negative previous romantic relationship.

Remember that your friends fulfill you in a way that a partner never will. Travel with your friends, invite them out for dinner dates and spend the night on the couch with them watching TV – you may even find that you end up having more fun with them than you would have with your ex.

Remember That Rejection Is A Part Of Life

No-one likes being rejected, but sadly it happens to most people at some point in their life. This is because life is filled with soaring highs and crashing lows, and while the lows are difficult at the time they will make you stronger emotionally.

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Focus On Having A Positive Mind-Set

Be open to new experiences and ideas, and make an effort to try new things that you’ve always been interested. Who knows – you could end up preferring yoga to your last relationship!

Know That Grief Is Not A Choice

You have gone through a difficult break-up and you have lost something that was very important to you, so grief is completely natural. Many people try to control their grief, but grief is not a choice and it will control you. This may feel unpleasant, but the best thing that you can do is bravely battle through the pain that you feel. Acknowledge the hurt, and then let it pass.

Remember That The Majority Of Relationships End

Whether it is due to a break-up or a divorce, lots of relationships will end. This is why you shouldn’t ever feel inadequate after a break-up. Even the most interesting, loving, funny and beautiful people go through rejection, heartbreak and loss.

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Work On Loving Yourself

One of the hardest things about a break-up is feeling like you are incomplete without the other person. If you can relate to this, remember that you don’t need someone else to complete you if you love yourself enough. Take some time to learn more about yourself and what you love so that you can be happy without a partner.

Spend Time With People Who Support You

Spending time with people who love and support you for who you are will help to ease the pain of the break-up. They will remind you that many people do support you, and this will motivate you to move on through your heartbreak.

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

You’ve finally reached that comfortable spot in your relationship. You finish each other’s sentences and know before they order what the other one will have for lunch at your favorite restaurant. But, it’s starting to feel like boredom to you.

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Security Can Lead to Boredom

It is normal to reach this level of security in a relationship. The longer you’re with somebody, the more you get to know them and what to expect from them. This level of familiarity is the cause of relationship boredom.

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Although security is definitely something you want with your significant other, what you don’t want is the boredom. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is believing that their predictability makes up for the loss of intimacy or excitement they used to feel together.[1] Why? Because this boredom increases your chances of losing the love between you.

When a couple starts to settle for feeling safe and secure, they believe nothing in the world can tear them apart. And this sense of confidence means they often stop putting effort into their relationship. Instead, their shared life becomes automatic, occurring without too much thought or investment and becoming indifferent. The last thing you want is to be in an indifferent romantic relationship. With indifference comes a whole slew of other feelings like annoyance and irritation, which in turn, prompts arguments.[2]

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Don’t allow this to happen to you and your significant other.

How to Prevent Boredom in Your Relationship

So, what can you do to avoid boredom in your relationship? Here are some great ideas to spark the passion and excitement:

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Try Something New Together

There’s nothing better for breaking up monotony than doing something new together. Do you two love taking pictures? Take a photography class together. Do you usually go hiking on the weekends? Throw a zipline or paragliding session into the mix. Research indicates that trying new activities is a great way to beat boredom.

Make a Plan for the Future

No, you don’t have to plan where you’ll buy your house or how many kids you’ll have if you’re not ready for that sort of conversation. You can, however, plan a weekend getaway or a vacation for a few months down the road. Making a plan gives you something to look forward to, which helps fight boredom. According to life coach Kelly Rogers, making plans for the future gives your relationship a little adrenaline rush, making you feel a sense of appreciation for each other.[3]

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Establish a Date Night

In your everyday, mundane life together, it can be easy to forget to make the two of you a priority. Establishing a mandatory date night is a wonderful way to bring you and your significant other together for some quality time. Melanie Schilling, a relationship psychologist, claims that date nights are actually critical to relationship health.[4] Set something specific to do together as often as your schedule allows. It doesn’t have to be dinner at an expensive restaurant either. You can plan a “no cell phone” night, a walk at the park, or even try to recreate one of your first dates together.

Remember to Say “I Love You”

Don’t forget to remind your partner why you are together, especially when boredom creeps its head between you two. Simple things like saying, “I love you” or letting them know how much you appreciate them can help you keep the romance alive in your relationship. Try to think about the happy memories the two of you have shared; it can be far too easy to dwell on the problems. Remembering why and how much you love your significant other is a great way to forget about any boredom you thought you were feeling.

Reference

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