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57 Things to Do to Make You Let Go More Easily

57 Things to Do to Make You Let Go More Easily

Going through a breakup is never easy and trying to move on can sometimes feel almost impossible. It’s hard to not look up their social media accounts and overanalyze what you see. It definitely makes it harder and can put you into a depressive state if you end up seeing something you really didn’t want to see.

Splitting up with your partner will certainly alter your day-to-day life which can send you into a downward tailspin. If you really want to move on and get your life back, here are some things you can do to get you on the right track.

  1. Hit the gym on a regular basis
  2. Take a hike
  3. Go out with your girlfriends
  4. Take a trip
  5. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions you’re feeling
  6. Do things out of your comfort zone
  7. Dive into a really good book
  8. Know that forgiveness is a big part of moving forward
  9. Take a new class (guitar, painting, etc)
  10. Take a trip to a museum
  11. Throw your energy into your passion
  12. Go out dancing
  13. Learn a new language
  14. Explore new sports to play
  15. Start practicing a healthier lifestyle
  16. Start writing in a journal
  17. Write down the things you’re thankful for
  18. Dive into home projects
  19. Watch some of your favorite movies
  20. Try out those new recipes you’ve been pinning on Pinterest
  21. Get a facial
  22. Get a massage
  23. Remove any reminders of your ex
  24. Learn to meditate
  25. Try out yoga
  26. Spend more time with family
  27. Create a vision board
  28. Book a vacation months out
  29. Distance yourself from their friends
  30. Have a “treat yourself” day
  31. Catch up on some of that sleep you’ve been missing
  32. Volunteer your time at an animal shelter
  33. Babysit for family and/or neighbors
  34. Move your furniture around your place
  35. Clean out and organize your closet
  36. Consider seeing a therapist
  37. Volunteer at a women’s shelter
  38. Go away for the weekend
  39. Paint your nails
  40. Work on self-love
  41. Spend a lot of time outside
  42. Consider going on a date or two
  43. Work on forgiving yourself
  44. Recognize and replace fearful thoughts
  45. Seek closure
  46. Meet new people
  47. Realize there is someone out there for you
  48. Make peace with the past
  49. Don’t try to be friends with your ex
  50. Reflect on what didn’t work in the relationship
  51. Don’t rush into another relationship too quickly
  52. Focus on the present
  53. Focus only on what can be changed
  54. Only think about today
  55. Accept the truth and be thankful for the experience
  56. Distance yourself for awhile
  57. Take responsibility for your part

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on February 19, 2019

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

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Pain Is Our Guardian

Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

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No Pain, No Happiness

You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

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This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

Allow Room for the Inevitable

Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

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You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1] University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
[2] Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

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