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57 Things to Do to Make You Let Go More Easily

57 Things to Do to Make You Let Go More Easily

Going through a breakup is never easy and trying to move on can sometimes feel almost impossible. It’s hard to not look up their social media accounts and overanalyze what you see. It definitely makes it harder and can put you into a depressive state if you end up seeing something you really didn’t want to see.

Splitting up with your partner will certainly alter your day-to-day life which can send you into a downward tailspin. If you really want to move on and get your life back, here are some things you can do to get you on the right track.

  1. Hit the gym on a regular basis
  2. Take a hike
  3. Go out with your girlfriends
  4. Take a trip
  5. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions you’re feeling
  6. Do things out of your comfort zone
  7. Dive into a really good book
  8. Know that forgiveness is a big part of moving forward
  9. Take a new class (guitar, painting, etc)
  10. Take a trip to a museum
  11. Throw your energy into your passion
  12. Go out dancing
  13. Learn a new language
  14. Explore new sports to play
  15. Start practicing a healthier lifestyle
  16. Start writing in a journal
  17. Write down the things you’re thankful for
  18. Dive into home projects
  19. Watch some of your favorite movies
  20. Try out those new recipes you’ve been pinning on Pinterest
  21. Get a facial
  22. Get a massage
  23. Remove any reminders of your ex
  24. Learn to meditate
  25. Try out yoga
  26. Spend more time with family
  27. Create a vision board
  28. Book a vacation months out
  29. Distance yourself from their friends
  30. Have a “treat yourself” day
  31. Catch up on some of that sleep you’ve been missing
  32. Volunteer your time at an animal shelter
  33. Babysit for family and/or neighbors
  34. Move your furniture around your place
  35. Clean out and organize your closet
  36. Consider seeing a therapist
  37. Volunteer at a women’s shelter
  38. Go away for the weekend
  39. Paint your nails
  40. Work on self-love
  41. Spend a lot of time outside
  42. Consider going on a date or two
  43. Work on forgiving yourself
  44. Recognize and replace fearful thoughts
  45. Seek closure
  46. Meet new people
  47. Realize there is someone out there for you
  48. Make peace with the past
  49. Don’t try to be friends with your ex
  50. Reflect on what didn’t work in the relationship
  51. Don’t rush into another relationship too quickly
  52. Focus on the present
  53. Focus only on what can be changed
  54. Only think about today
  55. Accept the truth and be thankful for the experience
  56. Distance yourself for awhile
  57. Take responsibility for your part

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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