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How Couples Counseling Can Help You Get Through Hard Times with Your Loved One

How Couples Counseling Can Help You Get Through Hard Times with Your Loved One

The average couples counseling is 12 sessions, however it can be varying for each couple. Most times after a couple of sessions you should know if the therapy is working.

Couples counseling should help you and your partner communicate better in a more positive and effective manner.

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Do couples counseling really work? Is it an effective solution when it comes to saving a relationship? It depends on who are in the relationship. For veterans who have gone through certain difficult periods, handling a relationship could be tough. However veterans can find benefits with programs that help them become appreciative of their environment and its loved ones.[1]

At the end of the day, couples should know that much could be salvaged depending on the multitude of considerations that the two persons in the relationship bring to counseling. Some of the qualities that could make couples counseling is empathy, being commitment-oriented, integrity and honesty, flexibility, humility, basic intelligence, maturity, mental balance and being concerned about the other person as much as you care about yourself. You may not have many of these characteristics but working on these qualities now could help you make the most of couples counseling.

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Here are some ways couples counseling can help saving a relationship.

Explore a problem from a new perspective

If couples are motivated enough, they can start looking and exploring the reason for their failures in the relationship with a new perspective. It is indeed a more insightful and expansive process when couples can look at a problem with a fresh viewpoint rather than being rigid about it. Most times enrolling for couples counseling shows a couple is willing to work through their problems. And couples counseling would give them that new angle to find solutions rather than be stuck with problems.

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Be able to make hard choices or decisions

During couple counseling, couples can make those hard choices of wanting to make the relationship work or not.[2] Certainly there is a renewed commitment or clarification of why a couple would want to make the relationship work again. Most times couples would want to go forward and save what relationship they have.

Improve communication between partners

Interactions could become poor in a relationship. Quality communication between partners is eroded when disputes occur. Such times could cause couples to reach a stalemate and distort their opinion of each other. Most times they lose the ability to be more trusting of each other and their weaknesses become exposed. However couples counseling could better their communication with each other and let them express their feelings more openly. They have an avenue to express how they truly feel.

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Resolve conflicts in new ways

Couple counseling makes couples discover and find new ways to resolve conflicts. It can be hard to recognize conflicts or its causes and how to go about them. But a therapist will certainly provide tools necessary in dealing with difficult issues. You learn something you may never have known previously in handling critical situations.

Find a ground to expunge your disappointment or frustration

Of course we may be carrying “baggage” in a relationship, this we may not even be aware of. And such baggage would cause further harm in subsequent disputes. Couples counseling will always provide a “neutral territory” for couples to discuss and work through difficult issues. Such “baggage” could be what stops you from moving on in a relationship, but this is discussed and worked out.

You should understand that couples counseling takes hard work, determination, and a desire to take one for the team. It is not for the immature or unprepared. It comes down to the willingness and the desire to do anything to save your relationship and be progressive about it.

Reference

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on April 1, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we often think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. Many try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as their ultimate goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from them.

But, what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?

It’s a lot like your favorite food. The more often you have it isn’t always better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

Always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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Video Summary

Don’t Assume Others Are Always Happy

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives. So, it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires have their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But, I got through them; and, weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.  Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time now seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop Trying to Be Happy–Just Be

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.

So what can we do?

First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s through experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing similar trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.

It sounds like a paradox. But, what I mean is to accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment, flash back your memory to when you didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But, when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when I hit tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and Sadness Exist Together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments–happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But, your life will also be filled with rain and storms that never seem like they will pass while you’re going through them.

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But, whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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