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Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Last or Not?

Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Last or Not?

Looking for relationship advice about whether long distance relationships really last or not?

Well, around 14 million people manage long distance relationships in the US. An additional 3.75 million couples are in a long distance marriage![1] Seems like a lot, right? So, what’s the deal? Will these relationships make it for the long haul?

    Long Distance Relationships Are Indeed Challenging

    Before you commit to a long distance relationship (LDR), you should know they come with a special set of challenges that other relationships don’t have to endure. Just because so many people are in one doesn’t mean they are easy. In fact, most of the relationship advice out there talks about how they almost never work out.

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    That doesn’t have to happen to you. LDR’s are definitely challenging, you just have to ask yourself if you’re ready to take on this unique kind of relationship before you commit.

      Challenging, But Not Impossible

      With most of the relationship advice out there pointing to how LDR’s are most likely to fail, it can be pretty demotivating and make you start doubting if it’s a good idea or not. Seriously, how could a relationship ever overcome the obstacle of long distance?

      With the right relationship advice, you can work through these challenges and potentially end up with a lasting and fulfilling relationship – if you’re willing to put in the effort.

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      Don’t believe it? Plenty of people have given relationship advice about all the reasons that LDR’s really can work. Maybe you’re wondering, “if something is so difficult, why not search for a partner who lives closer to you?” Because if you are willing to put in the time and effort, you could build an incredibly strong emotional connection with your partner. By the time the two of you make the decision to be closer, or live together, or get married, you will likely have a more fulfilling and healthier relationship than a lot of other couples. The distance between you two can actually work to bring you closer.

      Overcoming the Challenges

      Ready to tackle the challenges of a LDR? Take a look at this relationship advice and find out what the biggest challenges are and what you can do to work your way through them.

      Growing Apart

      The two of you can’t see each other every day or even every week for that matter. You are forced to maintain your relationship via phone calls and video chats (if the internet connection is strong enough). You life continues wherever you are and so does your partner’s, and they aren’t the same. The two of you will be growing and changing with the real possibility that this will cause you to grow apart.

      How do you make sure to grow and change together despite the distance? The key here is to maintain regular and frequent communication. If your budget allows, try to visit each other as much as possible. This way, your individual changes don’t come as a surprise. Be honest with each other and bring it up the moment you start to feel like you’re growing apart.

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      Feeling Jealous

      You are both mature and intelligent adults, trying to be supportive of each other’s independence. But every so often, jealousy rears its ugly head. It’s so easy to start worrying about who your partner spends all their time with and it’s only natural that you wish it could be with you.

      Don’t let your jealousy control your interactions with your significant other. If you suspect they might have feelings for somebody else, ask. Don’t accuse. Recognize if your jealousy stems for your own insecurity and try to handle it together. It’s okay to ask for reassurance from time to time, that’s what relationships are for. But, make sure you fight jealousy early on so it doesn’t get out of control and take over your relationship.

      Misunderstanding the Other Person’s Intention

      When you’re in a long distance relationship, the two of you primarily rely on verbal or written communication. You don’t have the luxury of being face to face and seeing nonverbal behavior or facial expressions. It’s easy to misunderstand the intent behind what your significant other is saying. And these misunderstandings can lead to arguments.

      To avoid this problem, try to be as clear as possible when writing or speaking. Don’t assume that the other person will understand or even know exactly what you’re talking about. If you aren’t sure you understood your partner, ask for clarification. Get out of the habit of reacting, instead make sure you understand everything first.

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      Making it Last

      There is no doubt about it, being in a long distance relationship can be challenging. If you stick to this relationship advice, put in extra effort, and try to be patient, you may end up in one of the most fulfilling and emotionally rewarding relationships of your life.

      Featured photo credit: Tofros.com via pexels.com

      Reference

      [1] longdistancerelationshipstatistics.com: LongDistanceRelationshipStatistics

      More by this author

      Amber Pariona

      EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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      Last Updated on February 11, 2021

      20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

      20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

      Dreams — Mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and sometimes a nightmarish living hell. Dreams are all that and much more.

      Here are 20 amazing facts about dreams that you might have never heard about:

      Fact #1: You can’t read while dreaming, or tell the time

        If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something. The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams.

        The same goes for clocks: each time you look at a clock it will tell a different time and the hands on the clock won’t appear to be moving as reported by lucid dreamers.

        Fact #2: Lucid dreaming

        There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.

        Want to learn how to control your dreams? You can try these tips:

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        Lucid Dreaming: This Is How You Can Control Your Dreams

        Fact #3: Inventions inspired by dreams

        Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind. A few examples include:

        • The idea for Google -Larry Page
        • Alternating current generator -Tesla
        • DNA’s double helix spiral form -James Watson
        • The sewing machine -Elias Howe
        • Periodic table -Dimitri Mendeleyev

        …and many, many more.

        Fact #4: Premonition dreams

        There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about.

        You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence. The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:

        • Abraham Lincoln dreamt of His Assassination
        • Many of the victims of 9/11 had dreams warning them about the catastrophe
        • Mark Twain’s dream of his brother’s demise
        • 19 verified precognitive dreams about the Titanic catastrophe

        Fact #5: Sleep paralysis

        Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. It’s the stuff of true nightmares. I’ve been a sleep paralysis sufferer as a kid and I can attest to how truly horrible it is.

        Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move (hence paralysis) and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. It doesn’t feel like a dream, but 100% real. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” instinct and the emotions of fear, terror and anxiety. Enough said!

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        Fact #6: REM sleep disorder

        In the state of REM (rapid-eye-movement) stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed. In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down.

        Fact #7: Sexual dreams

        The very scientifically-named “nocturnal penile tumescence” is a very well documented phenomena. In laymen’s term, it simply means that you get a stiffy while you sleep. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream.

        Fact #8: Unbelievable sleepwalkers

          Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. It is an extreme form of REM sleep disorder, and these people don’t just act out their dreams, but go on real adventures at night.

          Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist. Literally. He “sleepdraws” gorgeous portraits, of which he has no recollection afterwards. Strange sleepwalking “adventures” include:

          • A woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking
          • A man who drove 22 miles and killed his cousin while sleepwalking
          • A sleepwalker who walked out of the window from the third floor, and barely survived

          Fact #9: Dream drug

          There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming.

          Fact #10 Dream-catcher

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            The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.

            Fact #11: Increased brain activity

            You would associate sleeping with peace and quiet, but actually our brains are more active during sleep than during the day.

            Fact #12: Creativity and dreams

            As we mentioned before, dreams are responsible for inventions, great artworks and are generally just incredibly interesting. They are also “recharging” our creativity.

            Scientists also say that keeping a dream diary helps with creativity.

            In rare cases of REM disorder, people actually don’t dream at all. These people suffer from significantly decreased creativity and perform badly at tasks requiring creative problem solving.

            Fact #13: Pets dream too

              Our animal companions dream as well. Watch a dog or a cat sleep and you can see that they are moving their paws and making noises like they were chasing something. Go get ’em buddy!

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              Fact #14: You always dream—you just don’t remember it

              Many people claim that they don’t dream at all, but that’s not true: we all dream, but up to 60% of people don’t remember their dreams at all.

              Fact #15: Blind people dream too

              Blind people who were not born blind see images in their dreams but people who were born blind don’t see anything at all. They still dream, and their dreams are just as intense and interesting, but they involve the other senses beside sight.

              Fact #16: In your dreams, you only see faces that you already know

                It is proven that in dreams, we can only see faces that we have seen in real life before. So beware: that scary-looking old lady next to you on the bus might as well be in your next nightmare.

                Fact #17: Dreams tend to be negative

                Surprisingly, dreams are more often negative than positive. The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear.

                Fact #18: Multiple dreams per night

                You can have up to seven different dreams per night depending on how many REM cycles you have. We only dream during the REM period of sleep, and the average person dreams one to two hours every night.

                Fact #19: Gender differences

                Interestingly, 70% of all the characters in a man’s dream are other men, but women’s dream contain an equal amount of women and men. Also men’s dreams contain a lot more aggression. Both women and men dream about sexual themes equally often.

                Fact #20: Not everyone dreams in color

                As much as 12% of people only dream in black and white.

                Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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