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Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Last or Not?

Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Last or Not?

Looking for relationship advice about whether long distance relationships really last or not?

Well, around 14 million people manage long distance relationships in the US. An additional 3.75 million couples are in a long distance marriage![1] Seems like a lot, right? So, what’s the deal? Will these relationships make it for the long haul?

    Long Distance Relationships Are Indeed Challenging

    Before you commit to a long distance relationship (LDR), you should know they come with a special set of challenges that other relationships don’t have to endure. Just because so many people are in one doesn’t mean they are easy. In fact, most of the relationship advice out there talks about how they almost never work out.

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    That doesn’t have to happen to you. LDR’s are definitely challenging, you just have to ask yourself if you’re ready to take on this unique kind of relationship before you commit.

      Challenging, But Not Impossible

      With most of the relationship advice out there pointing to how LDR’s are most likely to fail, it can be pretty demotivating and make you start doubting if it’s a good idea or not. Seriously, how could a relationship ever overcome the obstacle of long distance?

      With the right relationship advice, you can work through these challenges and potentially end up with a lasting and fulfilling relationship – if you’re willing to put in the effort.

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      Don’t believe it? Plenty of people have given relationship advice about all the reasons that LDR’s really can work. Maybe you’re wondering, “if something is so difficult, why not search for a partner who lives closer to you?” Because if you are willing to put in the time and effort, you could build an incredibly strong emotional connection with your partner. By the time the two of you make the decision to be closer, or live together, or get married, you will likely have a more fulfilling and healthier relationship than a lot of other couples. The distance between you two can actually work to bring you closer.

      Overcoming the Challenges

      Ready to tackle the challenges of a LDR? Take a look at this relationship advice and find out what the biggest challenges are and what you can do to work your way through them.

      Growing Apart

      The two of you can’t see each other every day or even every week for that matter. You are forced to maintain your relationship via phone calls and video chats (if the internet connection is strong enough). You life continues wherever you are and so does your partner’s, and they aren’t the same. The two of you will be growing and changing with the real possibility that this will cause you to grow apart.

      How do you make sure to grow and change together despite the distance? The key here is to maintain regular and frequent communication. If your budget allows, try to visit each other as much as possible. This way, your individual changes don’t come as a surprise. Be honest with each other and bring it up the moment you start to feel like you’re growing apart.

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      Feeling Jealous

      You are both mature and intelligent adults, trying to be supportive of each other’s independence. But every so often, jealousy rears its ugly head. It’s so easy to start worrying about who your partner spends all their time with and it’s only natural that you wish it could be with you.

      Don’t let your jealousy control your interactions with your significant other. If you suspect they might have feelings for somebody else, ask. Don’t accuse. Recognize if your jealousy stems for your own insecurity and try to handle it together. It’s okay to ask for reassurance from time to time, that’s what relationships are for. But, make sure you fight jealousy early on so it doesn’t get out of control and take over your relationship.

      Misunderstanding the Other Person’s Intention

      When you’re in a long distance relationship, the two of you primarily rely on verbal or written communication. You don’t have the luxury of being face to face and seeing nonverbal behavior or facial expressions. It’s easy to misunderstand the intent behind what your significant other is saying. And these misunderstandings can lead to arguments.

      To avoid this problem, try to be as clear as possible when writing or speaking. Don’t assume that the other person will understand or even know exactly what you’re talking about. If you aren’t sure you understood your partner, ask for clarification. Get out of the habit of reacting, instead make sure you understand everything first.

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      Making it Last

      There is no doubt about it, being in a long distance relationship can be challenging. If you stick to this relationship advice, put in extra effort, and try to be patient, you may end up in one of the most fulfilling and emotionally rewarding relationships of your life.

      Featured photo credit: Tofros.com via pexels.com

      Reference

      [1] longdistancerelationshipstatistics.com: LongDistanceRelationshipStatistics

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      Amber Pariona

      EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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      Last Updated on April 1, 2019

      How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

      How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

      When we talk about happiness, we often think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. Many try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as their ultimate goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from them.

      But, what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?

      It’s a lot like your favorite food. The more often you have it isn’t always better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

      Always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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      Video Summary

      Don’t Assume Others Are Always Happy

      Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives. So, it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

      In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

      No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires have their own set of challenges and problems.

      When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But, I got through them; and, weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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      You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.  Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time now seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

      Stop Trying to Be Happy–Just Be

      It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.

      So what can we do?

      First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s through experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing similar trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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      To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.

      It sounds like a paradox. But, what I mean is to accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

      Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment, flash back your memory to when you didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But, when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when I hit tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

      Happiness and Sadness Exist Together

      What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments–happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But, your life will also be filled with rain and storms that never seem like they will pass while you’re going through them.

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      But, whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

      Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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