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Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Last or Not?

Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Last or Not?

Looking for relationship advice about whether long distance relationships really last or not?

Well, around 14 million people manage long distance relationships in the US. An additional 3.75 million couples are in a long distance marriage![1] Seems like a lot, right? So, what’s the deal? Will these relationships make it for the long haul?

    Long Distance Relationships Are Indeed Challenging

    Before you commit to a long distance relationship (LDR), you should know they come with a special set of challenges that other relationships don’t have to endure. Just because so many people are in one doesn’t mean they are easy. In fact, most of the relationship advice out there talks about how they almost never work out.

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    That doesn’t have to happen to you. LDR’s are definitely challenging, you just have to ask yourself if you’re ready to take on this unique kind of relationship before you commit.

      Challenging, But Not Impossible

      With most of the relationship advice out there pointing to how LDR’s are most likely to fail, it can be pretty demotivating and make you start doubting if it’s a good idea or not. Seriously, how could a relationship ever overcome the obstacle of long distance?

      With the right relationship advice, you can work through these challenges and potentially end up with a lasting and fulfilling relationship – if you’re willing to put in the effort.

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      Don’t believe it? Plenty of people have given relationship advice about all the reasons that LDR’s really can work. Maybe you’re wondering, “if something is so difficult, why not search for a partner who lives closer to you?” Because if you are willing to put in the time and effort, you could build an incredibly strong emotional connection with your partner. By the time the two of you make the decision to be closer, or live together, or get married, you will likely have a more fulfilling and healthier relationship than a lot of other couples. The distance between you two can actually work to bring you closer.

      Overcoming the Challenges

      Ready to tackle the challenges of a LDR? Take a look at this relationship advice and find out what the biggest challenges are and what you can do to work your way through them.

      Growing Apart

      The two of you can’t see each other every day or even every week for that matter. You are forced to maintain your relationship via phone calls and video chats (if the internet connection is strong enough). You life continues wherever you are and so does your partner’s, and they aren’t the same. The two of you will be growing and changing with the real possibility that this will cause you to grow apart.

      How do you make sure to grow and change together despite the distance? The key here is to maintain regular and frequent communication. If your budget allows, try to visit each other as much as possible. This way, your individual changes don’t come as a surprise. Be honest with each other and bring it up the moment you start to feel like you’re growing apart.

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      Feeling Jealous

      You are both mature and intelligent adults, trying to be supportive of each other’s independence. But every so often, jealousy rears its ugly head. It’s so easy to start worrying about who your partner spends all their time with and it’s only natural that you wish it could be with you.

      Don’t let your jealousy control your interactions with your significant other. If you suspect they might have feelings for somebody else, ask. Don’t accuse. Recognize if your jealousy stems for your own insecurity and try to handle it together. It’s okay to ask for reassurance from time to time, that’s what relationships are for. But, make sure you fight jealousy early on so it doesn’t get out of control and take over your relationship.

      Misunderstanding the Other Person’s Intention

      When you’re in a long distance relationship, the two of you primarily rely on verbal or written communication. You don’t have the luxury of being face to face and seeing nonverbal behavior or facial expressions. It’s easy to misunderstand the intent behind what your significant other is saying. And these misunderstandings can lead to arguments.

      To avoid this problem, try to be as clear as possible when writing or speaking. Don’t assume that the other person will understand or even know exactly what you’re talking about. If you aren’t sure you understood your partner, ask for clarification. Get out of the habit of reacting, instead make sure you understand everything first.

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      Making it Last

      There is no doubt about it, being in a long distance relationship can be challenging. If you stick to this relationship advice, put in extra effort, and try to be patient, you may end up in one of the most fulfilling and emotionally rewarding relationships of your life.

      Featured photo credit: Tofros.com via pexels.com

      Reference

      [1] longdistancerelationshipstatistics.com: LongDistanceRelationshipStatistics

      More by this author

      Amber Pariona

      EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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      Published on October 30, 2020

      11 Essential Philosophy Books That Will Open Your Mind

      11 Essential Philosophy Books That Will Open Your Mind

      There are numerous ways to build your mindset, but none are as profound as reading philosophy books. Through these books, some of the greatest minds around ask questions and delve deep into thought.

      While there isn’t always a clear and distinct answer to the many questions of philosophy, the entire field is a gateway to a higher sense of self. It gets you to think about all manner of things.

      Below, we cover some of the essential philosophy books that are best for those who are just starting or looking to expand their mind.

      How To Choose a Good Philosophy Book

      Before getting to this list, we’ve researched ideal philosophy books to help you expand your mind.

      We’ve found that the best philosophy books excel in the following criteria:

      • Complexity – Philosophy isn’t a subject that you can’t dive into immediately and understand everything. The books that we selected are great for people making the first leap.
      • Viewpoint – With philosophy, in particular, the author’s views are more important than in your standard book. We want to ensure the viewpoints and thoughts being discussed still hold up to this day.
      • Open-mindedness – Philosophy is all about asking perplexing questions and unraveling the answer. You might not reach a conclusion in the end, but these books are designed to get you to think.
      • Culture – The last criterion is culture. A lot of these books come from early philosophers from centuries ago or possibly from recent years. These philosophy books should paint a picture of the culture.

      1. Meditations

        One that you’ll find on many of these types of lists is Meditations and for good reason. It’s the only document of its kind to ever be made. The book focuses on the private thoughts of the world’s most powerful man who advises himself revolving around making good on his responsibilities and the obligations of his position.

        We know enough about Marcus Aurelius to know that he was trained in stoic philosophy and practiced every night on a series of spirituality exercises. These exercises were designed to make him humble, patient, empathetic, generous, and strong in the face of whatever problem he had to face off. And he faced plenty of problems since he was basically the emperor of roughly a third of the planet.

        All of that is poured into this book, and you are bound to remember a line or more that will be applicable in your life. It’s a philosophy book staple.

        Buy Meditations here.

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        2. Letters From a Stoic

          Similar to Marcus Aurelius, Seneca was another powerful man in Rome. He was a brilliant writer at the time and was the kind of guy to give great advice to his most trusted friends. Fortunately, much of his advice comes in letters, and those letters happen to be in this book. The letters themselves provided advice on dealing with grief, wealth, poverty, success, failure, education, and more.

          While Seneca was a stoic, he has a more practical approach and has borrowed from other schools of thought for his advice. As he said when he was alive, “I don’t care about the author if the line is good.” Similar to Meditations, there are several brilliant lines and advice that are still relevant to this day.

          Buy “Letters From a Stoic” here.

          3. Nicomachean Ethics

            Aristotle was a famous Greek philosopher at the time with profound knowledge. He’s named after a form of logic as well called Aristotelian logic. Through this book, Aristotle writes about the root of all Aristotelian ethics. In other words, this book contains the moral ideas that form a base for pretty much all of western civilization.

            Buy “Nicomachean Ethics” here.

            4. Beyond Good & Evil

              Friedrich Nietzsche played a big role in the philosophical world. He was one of the leading philosophers of the existential movement, and it all came through this particular book. He is a brilliant mind. However, the issue with a lot of his work is that it’s all written in German.

              Fortunately, this book is one of the slightly more accessible ones since it’s translated. Within the book, he breaks down the paradoxes of conventional understandings of morality. By doing this, he sets the stage for a lot of the 20th-century thought process that followed.

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              Buy “Beyond Good & Evil” here.

              5. Meditations on First Philosophy

                In Meditations on First Philosophy, René Descartes breaks his book down into six meditations. The book takes a journalistic style that is structured much like a six-day course of meditation. On day one, he gives instructions on discarding all belief in things that are not guaranteed. After that, he tries to establish what can be known for sure. Similar to Meditations, this is a staple and influential philosophical text that you can pick up.

                Buy “Meditations on First Philosophy” here.

                6. Ethics

                  Written by Benedict de Spinoza, this came at a time during the Age of Enlightenment. Enlightenment was a movement that dominated the world of ideas in Europe during the 17th and 18th centuries and with that, many schools of thought emerged and were presented through books.

                  Out of the many influential philosophy books published back then, Ethics dominated during this period as it discussed the basis of rationalism. Even though we’ve developed further beyond that, Ethics can introduce new ways of thinking from this particular school of thought.

                  Buy “Ethics” here.

                  7. Critique of Pure Reason

                    Immanuel Kant is another great philosopher who brought together two of history’s biggest opposing schools of thought into a single book. Those schools being rational thought and empirical experiential knowledge—knowledge gained through experience.

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                    In Critique of Pure Reason, Kant explores human reason and then works to establish its illusions and get down to core constituents. Overall, you can learn more about human behavior and thought processes and thus, open your mind more to how you think and process everything around you.

                    Buy “Critique of Pure Reason” here.

                    8. On the Genealogy of Morals

                      Another piece of work from Nietzsche that is accessible to us is On the Genealogy of Morals. According to Nietzsche, the purpose of this book is to call attention to his previous writings. That said, it does more than that so you don’t need to worry so much about reading his other books.

                      In this book, he expands on the cryptic aphorisms that he brings up in Beyond Good and Evil and offers a discussion or morality in a work that is more accessible than a lot of his previous work.

                      Buy “On the Genealogy of Morals” here.

                      9. Everything Is F*cked

                        The only book on this list that’s been written in the past few years, this book by Mark Manson aims to explain why we all need hope while also accepting that hope can often lead us to ruin too.

                        While many of the books on this list are all practical, this one is the most realistic one since not even the greatest of philosophical minds could predict things like technology, Twitter, and how our political world has shaped.

                        Manson delivers a profound book that taps into the minds of our ancestral philosophers, such as Plato, Nietzsche, and Tom Waits, and digs deep into various topics and how all of it is connected—religion and politics, our relationship with money, entertainment, and the internet.

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                        Overall, this book serves as a challenge to all of us—a challenge to be more honest with ourselves and connect with the world in a way we’ve never tried before.

                        Buy “Everything Is F*cked” here.

                        10. Reasons and Persons

                          One of the most challenging philosophy books to read on this list, Reasons and Persons will send you on quite the trip. Through a lot of painstaking logic, Derek Parfit shows us some unique perspectives on self-interest, personhood, and whether our actions are good or evil.

                          Considered by many to be an important psychological text around the 20th century, the arguments made about those topics will open your mind to a brand new way of thinking.

                          Buy “Reasons and Persons” here.

                          11. The Republic of Plato

                            Written by Plato himself, this book is the origin of political science and offers a brilliant critique of government. As you would expect, the critique is still important today. If you’re looking to understand the inner thoughts of Plato, this is one of the best books around.

                            Buy “The Republic of Plato” here.

                            Final Thoughts

                            Philosophy books take a while to digest as they provide profound knowledge and leave you with many questions. With many of these philosophy books, you need to take your time with them, and you might have to read through them a few times as well. And with every read, your mind will only expand.

                            More Books to Open Your Mind

                            Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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