If you have ever broken up with someone you love, then you probably understand how tough the period after the breakup can be. First you have to deal with the inner pain that comes with missing your partner and the things you do together. When that increases to a certain point, you can start having doubts about your break up, more so if you were the one who initiated it. Was that the right decision to make or was I being too rash? Am I better off? And maybe even, should I get back with my ex?
For those that do want to see whether getting back together with your ex is a good idea, there is some good news. You can predict your chances of getting back with your ex fairly accurately by looking out for signs that you and your partner still stand a good chance together. Here is a list of those 8 factors to consider:
The reason for your breakup
Why did the two of you break up? How serious was the cause of your breakup? People break up for all kinds of reasons, some more serious than others. There are some reasons that are easy to forgive, like a missed date, or something petty, and if your breakup was caused by something minor, then you have a good chance if you gave it another go. But, there are also reasons that might be way too serious to overcome – the law calls them irreconcilable differences. With these you’d probably best forget it and move on.
How long the two of you have been apart
Time heals many things, and while a breakup might seem like the end of the world, down the line it might look like the most natural thing in the world. So the longer the two of you have been apart, the lower your chances of getting back together becomes.
How things ended between you
Did you break up through a text? Did the two of you sit down and decide that it was the best thing for both of you? Or was it a messy breakup full of insults and aggression?! The manner in which the two of you brought matters to a close will significantly affect your chances of getting back together. Generally speaking, the more amicably you ended things between you, the better your chances of getting back together.
Your actions after the breakup
Some people are affected deeply by the things their ex partners do after they break up – sometimes even more so than before the break up. Things like committing to a new relationship, even for a brief stint, could ruin the chances of ever getting back together. So could the actions following the breakup; was there any regretful behaviour whilst emotions were running high?
How deeply the two of you were involved
How deeply had you reached into each other’s lives? The more deeply the two of you were involved, the more likely it is that it will work if you get back together. For instance, partners who share a child or children are more than twice as likely to get back together after a breakup compared to childless couples.
How do you feel when the two of you are close together? Do you still feel the urge to touch each other ever so lightly? If there is still an emotional flame that burns between you, then you might still have a good chance.
Whether you are able to forgive each other
If you are able to have a frank discussion and forgive each other whole heartedly, then this is a very positive step towards getting the two of you getting back together.
Breaking up is never easy, even if you were the person to initiate the ending of the relationship. A period of adjustment is inevitable, especially if you had been together for a long time. That can sometimes hurt… really badly! Don’t put pressure on yourself to get back into the dating pool and move on faster than you feel comfortable, everyone is different. Take it one day at a time, and face the future, whether it’s with your ex or without.
Featured photo credit: Pablo Heimplatz via stocksnap.io