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Should I Get Back with My Ex? Check These Signs

Should I Get Back with My Ex? Check These Signs

If you have ever broken up with someone you love, then you probably understand how tough the period after the breakup can be. First you have to deal with the inner pain that comes with missing your partner and the things you do together. When that increases to a certain point, you can start having doubts about your break up, more so if you were the one who initiated it. Was that the right decision to make or was I being too rash? Am I better off? And maybe even, should I get back with my ex?

For those that do want to see whether getting back together with your ex is a good idea, there is some good news. You can predict your chances of getting back with your ex fairly accurately by looking out for signs that you and your partner still stand a good chance together. Here is a list of those 8 factors to consider:

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The reason for your breakup

Why did the two of you break up? How serious was the cause of your breakup? People break up for all kinds of reasons, some more serious than others. There are some reasons that are easy to forgive, like a missed date, or something petty, and if your breakup was caused by something minor, then you have a good chance if you gave it another go. But, there are also reasons that might be way too serious to overcome – the law calls them irreconcilable differences. With these you’d probably best forget it and move on.

How long the two of you have been apart

Time heals many things, and while a breakup might seem like the end of the world, down the line it might look like the most natural thing in the world. So the longer the two of you have been apart, the lower your chances of getting back together becomes.

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How things ended between you

Did you break up through a text? Did the two of you sit down and decide that it was the best thing for both of you? Or was it a messy breakup full of insults and aggression?! The manner in which the two of you brought matters to a close will significantly affect your chances of getting back together. Generally speaking, the more amicably you ended things between you, the better your chances of getting back together.

Your actions after the breakup

Some people are affected deeply by the things their ex partners do after they break up – sometimes even more so than before the break up. Things like committing to a new relationship, even for a brief stint, could ruin the chances of ever getting back together. So could the actions following the breakup; was there any regretful behaviour whilst emotions were running high?

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How deeply the two of you were involved

How deeply had you reached into each other’s lives? The more deeply the two of you were involved, the more likely it is that it will work if you get back together. For instance, partners who share a child or children are more than twice as likely to get back together after a breakup compared to childless couples.

Emotional attachment

How do you feel when the two of you are close together? Do you still feel the urge to touch each other ever so lightly? If there is still an emotional flame that burns between you, then you might still have a good chance.

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Whether you are able to forgive each other

If you are able to have a frank discussion and forgive each other whole heartedly, then this is a very positive step towards getting the two of you getting back together.

Breaking up is never easy, even if you were the person to initiate the ending of the relationship. A period of adjustment is inevitable, especially if you had been together for a long time. That can sometimes hurt… really badly! Don’t put pressure on yourself to get back into the dating pool and move on faster than you feel comfortable, everyone is different. Take it one day at a time, and face the future, whether it’s with your ex or without.

Featured photo credit: Pablo Heimplatz via stocksnap.io

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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