Advertising
Advertising

Alert: If You Always Avoid Things You Fear, You May Have This Issue

Alert: If You Always Avoid Things You Fear, You May Have This Issue

Most of us can relate to wanting to avoid things that make us uncomfortable – situations, people, and even work. Sometimes, we deliberately find ways to get out of confronting whatever makes us feel ill at ease. But Avoidant Personality Disorder is much more than just this.

Unlike other Cluster C personality disorders that may sound more familiar, Avoidant Personality Disorder is not as well known. The National Institute of Mental Health [1] estimates that around 5% of adults in the USA have it. It is characterized by patterns of social inhibition, feelings of inferiority or inadequacy, and sensitivity to negative responses. And as its name indicates, individuals tend to avoid situations that trigger those emotions.

Signs of Avoidant Personality Disorder [2]

  • Reluctance to be involved with people unless certain they will be liked.
  • Avoidance of activities (whether professional or personal) that would require significant contact with others due to fear of rejection or criticism.
  • Unwillingness to try new things due to shyness or feelings of inadequacy, particularly in social situations.
  • Sensitivity to criticism, rejection, or disapproval.
  • Difficulty with building intimate relationships because of fears and insecurities.
  • Feelings of being socially inept, inferior, or unappealing to others. As a result, there are tendencies to have extremely low self-esteem.

What Causes It?

The cause of Avoidant Personality Disorder is still undiscovered, but scientists believe that it may stem from genetics or as a result of childhood environments, such as experiencing emotional neglect from parents or peers.

Advertising

What is known, however, is that symptoms first start manifesting from infancy or early childhood. The child will display shyness, isolation, or discomfort with new places or people. Often times, children who do exhibit these tendencies grow out of it, but those with the disorder will become even more shy and isolated with age.

Having Avoidant Personality Disorder creates quite a limiting existence for those who have it. It causes physical, emotional, psychological, and social restrictions that affect day-to-day life. It proves to be challenging for both the person who has it and those around them. Learning more the disorder would enable you to help someone who may be affected. And the good news is that there are things that can be done to improve life quality.

Is there a cure for Avoidant Personality Disorder ?

There is no “cure” per se, however, the right treatment [3] can certainly improve the standard of living for sufferers and their loved ones.

Advertising

Therapy

Finding a psychotherapist who specializes in this particular field is said to be quite helpful. It will assist with addressing the underlying issues and promoting better dynamics in both personal and professional life.

Building rapport may be initially difficult for the person, so it would be normal for someone with this disorder to feel like they want to stop the treatment in the early stages. But once trust is formed, the relationship will help to create a stable environment where the issues can be confronted.

Advertising

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy where the specialist places a lot of emphasis on the thought process, in particular, the beliefs that harbor negative or unhealthy feelings. The objective is to test those ideas in a more rational way and examine if there is any factual evidence for them. Patients may be invited to write down their thoughts and examine how they can replace these views with something more positive.

Medication

Advertising

There is currently no medication that is specific for Avoidant Personality Disorder, but doctors can prescribe things such as antidepressants for depression or anxiety, which are often common among those with the disorder.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

Reference

[1] National Institute of Mental Health: Avoidant Personality Disorder
[2] Psych Central: Avoidant Personality Disorder Symptoms
[3] Healthline: Avoidant Personality Disorder

More by this author

J.S. von Dacre

Writer at Lifehack

Alert: If You Always Avoid Things You Fear, You May Have This Issue 10 Best Romance Movies That Reflect the Harsh Reality of Relationships Things Parents Do Unconsciously That Make Their Kids Become Codependent If You’re Overly Dependent, Probably It Is Due to the Scars of Childhood 90% of People Confuse Codependency with Intense Love. Are You One of Them?

Trending in Psychology

1 The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected 2 Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering 3 How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful 4 How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind 5 How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 28, 2019

The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected

The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected

Admit it, you feel good when other people think you’re nice. Maybe you were complimented by a stranger saying that you had a nice outfit. You felt good about yourself and you were happy for the rest of the day.

    We all like to feel liked, whether by a stranger or a loved one. It makes you feel valued and that feeling can be addictive. But when the high wears off and you no longer have validation that someone thinks you’re a good, sweet person, you may feel insecure and lacking. While wanting others to like you isn’t in itself a bad thing, it can be like a disease when you feel that you constantly need to be liked by others.

    Humans are wired to want to be liked.

    It’s human nature to seek approval from others. In ancient times, we needed acceptance to survive. Humans are social animals and we need to bond with others and form a community to survive. If we are not liked by others, we will be left out.

    Babies are born to be cute and be liked by adults.

      The large rounded head, big forehead, large eyes, chubby cheeks, and a rounded body. Babies can’t survive without an adult taking care of them. It’s vital for adults to find babies lovely to pay attention to them and divert energy towards them.[1]

      Advertising

      Recognitions have always been given by others.

        From the time you were a child, whether at school or at home, you have been receiving recognition from external parties. For instance, you received grades from teachers, and if you wanted something, you needed approval from your parents. We’ve learned to get what we want by catering to other people’s expectations. Maybe you wanted to get a higher grade in art so you’d be more attentive in art classes than others to impress your teacher. Your teacher would have a generally good impression on you and would likely to give you a higher grade.

        When you grow up, it’s no different. Perhaps you are desperate to get your work done so you do things that your manager would approve. Or maybe you try to impress your date by doing things they like but you don’t really like.

        Facebook and Instagram have only made things worse. People posting their photos and sharing about their life on Instagram just to feels so good to get more likes and attention.

        Being liked becomes essential to reaching desires.

          We start to get hyper focused on how others see us, and it’s easy to imagine having the spotlight on you at all time. People see you and they take an interest in you. This feels good. In turn, you start doing more things that bring you more attention. It’s all positive until you do something they don’t like and you receive criticism. When this happens, you spiral because you’ve lost the feeling of acceptance.

          Advertising

          But the reality is this is all just perception. Humans, as a species, are selfish. We are all just looking at ourselves; we only perceive others are giving us their focus. Even for those who please others are actually focusing on making themselves feel good. It’s like an optical illusion for your ego.

            The desire to be liked is an endless chase.

              Aiming to please others in order to feel better will exhaust you because you can never catch up with others’ expectation.

              The ideal image will always change.

              It used to be ideal to have a fair weight, a little bit fat was totally acceptable. Then it’s ideal to be very slim. Recently we’ve seen “dad-bods” getting some positive attention. But this is already quickly changing. In fact, a recent article from Men’s Health asked 100 women if they would date a guy who had a dad-bod, about 50% of women claimed to not care either way, only 15% exclusively date men with a “dad bod”.[2]

              People’s expectations on you can be wrong.

              Most people put their expectations on others based on what’s right in the social norms, yet the social norms are created by humans in which 80% of them are just ordinary people according to the 80/20 rules.[3]

              Advertising

              Think about it, every day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep, you filter what you believe to be truth. If someone compliments you, you take it and add it to an idea of what the best version of yourself is. When someone criticizes you, even in a destructive way, you might accept it altogether, or add it to a list of things you’re insecure about. When you absorb the wrong opinion from others, you will either sabotage your self-esteem or overestimate yourself by accepting all the good compliments and stop growing; or accepting all the destructive criticisms and sabotage your own self-esteem and happiness.

              Others’ desires are not the same as yours.

                If you live your life as one long effort of trying to please other people, you will never be happy. You’re always going to rely on others to make you feel worth living. This leads to total confusion when it comes to your personal goals; when there’s no external recognition, you don’t know what to live for.

                The only person to please is yourself.

                  Think of others’ approval as fuel and think of yourself as a car. When that fuel runs out, you can’t function. This is not a healthy mindset.

                  In reality, we’re human and we can create our own fuel. You can feel good based on how much you like yourself. When you do things to make you like yourself more, you can start to see a big change in your opinion. For example, if being complimented by others made you feel good and accepted, look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Say what you wish others would say about you.

                  Advertising

                  Internal approval takes practice, but it’s worth the effort. You have to re-train your own mind. Think of the dog who knows there is food when the bell rings, the reflex is hard wired into the dog.[4] We need our own triggers to reinforce the habit of internal approval too. Recognize yourself every day instead of waiting for people to do it for you, check out in this article the steps to take to recognize your own achievements and gain empowerment: Don’t Wait for People to Praise You. Do It Yourself Every Single Day

                  Notice that when you start to focus on yourself and what to do to make yourself happy, others may criticize you. Since you’ve stopped trying to please others to meet their expectations, they may judge you for what you do. Be critical about what they say about you. They aren’t always right but so are you. Everyone has blind spots. Let go of biased and subjective comments but be humble and open to useful advice that will improve you.

                  Remember that you are worth it, every day. It will take time to stop relying on others to make you feel important and worth something, but the sooner you start trying, the happier and healthier you will be.

                  Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

                  Reference

                  Read Next