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Revealed: Body Language That Makes You Attractive at Work and in Dating

Revealed: Body Language That Makes You Attractive at Work and in Dating

As human beings, the way we move and use our bodies can be one of the most effective ways of communication. In fact, it can play a much more important role than even the words we speak.

Dr Albert Mehrabian[1] is a psychologist that created a breakdown of effective human communication: 7 percent spoken words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent body language. Whether or not experts agree on the numbers, what is agreed on is that body language is an essential key component in our communication.

Learning more about body language can not only help us with improving communication ourselves, but to better understand others’ needs, wants and feelings.

With this in mind, I will go through essential body language tips within the common daily settings of work, dating and making friends.

What Are The Key Components Of Body Language?

Body language comes in many forms and often time it can be involuntary. Understanding the different components of our day-to-day body language can help us to be more aware and conscious of how we come across to others.

Facial expressions, eye contact, body movements and gestures, together with speech and tone of voice, can all give off signals both consciously and unconsciously to other people. Therefore, understanding how we use these to our advantage can help with more effective communication overall.

Body Language In The Work Place

The workplace is where we want to show competency, confidence and trustworthiness which can be shown in the body language we use.

Face: Smiling is important when making connections with others and more so with bosses and colleagues. A fake smile can be detected extremely easily so practicing a genuine smile (or Duchenne smile) will make you seem more approachable and trustworthy.

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    ▲ When you smile genuinely, you don’t only raise the muscles at the corner of your mouth, but also the muscles of your cheeks and your eyebrows.

    Eyes: Use frequent but direct eye contact – enough that you can notice the colour of their irises . Try the inverted triangle technique by looking from each eye down to the mouth.

      ▲ Looking into people’s eyes can be embarrassing (I know that feeling!) You can rotate your gaze to make eye contact more natural.

      Gestures: The power pose (hands on hips) not only tricks your mind into feeling more confident but conveys confidence to others. Think about how you use your hands – create a firm handshake and when talking, animate your hands to convey passion and enthusiasm.

        ▲ By putting your hands on your hips, you can make others instantly think you’re more confident and powerful. (via James Clear)

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        When sitting, crossing your legs in a figure-4 portrays a more confident stance but usually only in men. It subconsciously exposes the genital region and causes the upper body to lean back showing relaxed confidence.

          ▲ It’s different from the conventional ‘both knees’ leg cross!

          Voice: Having a higher pitch in your voice can be perceived by others as you being nervous and less powerful. Try to lower the pitch and speak slowly and clearly to convey control and confidence.

          Body Language In Dating

          Body language is crucial in how you are perceived by your date. Use these tricks to show you’re interested, relaxed and have a desire to get closer.

          Face: Natural laughter lights up the face and is a genuine sign of relaxation and lets the other person see you’re at ease in their company. Not only does it help you as endorphins are released and stress reduced, it can also allow your vulnerabilities to show because your guard is dropped and this can make you more appealing.

            ▲ Laughter rather than restricted smile enables your date to feel closer to you.

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            Eyes: Widening the eyes can convey interest and invites a positive response in the other person. Women who widen their eyes become particularly attractive as it’s believed to be associated with the eye/face proportion of babies and elicits an urge to protect and offer love.

            Gestures: When chatting with your date, lean forward slightly as this shows genuine interest. When they’re talking make sure you nod and smile to let them know you’re interested in what they’re saying. Slight touching on their upper arm can create feelings of intimacy without inappropriateness, making your date warm to you more.

              ▲ When your date speaks, don’t forget to lean forward a bit to show how eager to listen what they say.

              Voice: Both men and women actually like a deeper tone of voice in the opposite sex. That’s not to say you should have a deep, husky voice but deepening it and speaking slowly and confidently can come across as sexy and alluring.

              Body Language When Meeting New People

              If you want to become more successful in connecting and making new friends, then it’s important to come across in a friendly, easy-going way as well as showing you have commonalities with each other.

              Face: Smiling is obviously key to coming across as friendly and approachable. Make sure you use a natural laugh that will make your smile more genuine.

              Eyes: Other than good eye contact, you may consider throwing in a wink as a way of making friends. Yes, it’s more associated with flirting but don’t be afraid to use it in the context of a signal or a shared joke. Winking can elicit a feeling of connection in the other person and you can come off as more fun and confident.

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                ▲ Winking is a signal telling your new friend that you share some hidden knowledge with him/her.

                Gestures: We subconsciously mirror the body language of people we are fond of so subtly copy hand gestures, other movements or the way they stand. This will convey a sense that you are mindful of them and genuinely interested. Also make sure you have an open posture so you come across as welcoming and approachable.

                  ▲ Mirroring the body language of your new friend can make you two share more commonalities and feel more connected.

                  Voice: Showing friendliness with your voice can be achieved with intonation. Having a variety of tone conveys genuine interest, while monotone speech can give the impression of boredom even if you don’t intend it to.

                  Body language is important in our day-to-day interactions and there are many instances where we have subconscious tendencies that can lead to giving off wrong signals. Being more aware of how you come across using your gestures, voice, facial expressions and eyes can get you ahead in your social interactions and create a positive impression in your life overall.

                  Reference

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                  Jenny Marchal

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                  Last Updated on August 20, 2018

                  Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

                  Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

                  Do you know that feeling? The one where you have to wake up to go to your boring 9-5 job to work with the same boring colleagues who don’t appreciate what you do.

                  I do, and that’s why I’ve decided to quit my job and follow my passion. This, however, requires a solid plan and some guts.

                  The one who perseveres doesn’t always win. Sometimes life has more to offer when you quit your current job. Yes, I know. It’s overwhelming and scary.

                  People who quit are often seen as ‘losers’. They say: “You should finish what you’ve started”.

                  I know like no other that quitting your job can be very stressful. A dozen questions come up when you’re thinking about quitting your job, most starting with: What if?

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                  “What if I don’t find a job I love and regret quitting my current job?”
                  “What if I can’t find another job and I get in debt because I can’t pay my bills?”
                  “What if my family and friends judge me and disapprove of the decisions I make?”
                  “What if I quit my job to pursue my dream, but I fail?

                  After all, if you admit to the truth of your surroundings, you’re forced to acknowledge that you’ve made a wrong decision by choosing your current job. But don’t forget that quitting certain things in life can be the path to your success!

                  One of my favorite quotes by Henry Ford:

                  If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

                  Everything takes energy

                  Everything you do in life takes energy. It takes energy to participate in your weekly activities. It takes energy to commute to work every day. It takes energy to organize your sister’s big wedding.

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                  Each of the responsibilities we have take a little bit of our energy. We only have a certain amount of energy a day, so we have to spend it wisely.  Same goes for our time. The only things we can’t buy in this world are time and energy. Yes, you could buy an energy drink, but will it feel the same as eight hours of sleep? Will it be as healthy?

                  The more stress there is in your life, the less focus you have. This will weaken your results.

                  Find something that is worth doing

                  Do you have to quit every time the going gets touch? Absolutely not! You should quit when you’ve put everything you’ve got into something, but don’t see a bright future in it.

                  When you do something you love and that has purpose in your life, you should push through and give everything you have.

                  I find star athletes very inspiring. They don’t quit till they step on that stage to receive their hard earned gold medal. From the start, they know how much work its going to take and what they have to sacrifice.

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                  When you do something you’re really passionate about, you’re not in a downward spiral. Before you even start you can already see the finish line. The more focus you have for something, the faster you’ll reach the finish.

                  It is definitely possible to spend your valuable time on something you love and earn money doing it. You just have to find out how — by doing enough research.

                  Other excuses I often hear are:

                  “But I have my wife and kids, who is going to pay the bills?”
                  “I don’t have time for that, I’m too busy with… stuff” (Like watching TV for 2 hours every day.)
                  “At least I get the same paycheck every month if I work for a boss.”
                  “Quitting my job is too much risk with this crisis.”

                  I understand those points. But if you’ve never tried it, you’ll never know how it could be. The fear of failure keeps people from stepping out of their comfort zone.

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                  I’ve heard many people say, “I work to let my children make their dream come true”. I think they should rephrase that sentence to: “I pursue my dreams — to inspire and show my children anything is possible.” 

                  Conclusion

                  Think carefully about what you spend your time on. Don’t waste it on things that don’t brighten your future. Instead, search for opportunities. And come up with a solid plan before you take any impulsive actions.

                  Only good things happen outside of your comfort zone.

                  Do you dare to quit your job for more success in life?

                  Featured photo credit: Jadon Barnes via images.unsplash.com

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