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How Do You Know When You’re in Love? Check These 12 Signs

How Do You Know When You’re in Love? Check These 12 Signs

The feeling of falling and being in love is one of the greatest feelings one could ever feel and experience.

You feel motivated, driven, and secure having someone in your corner to support and comfort you.

However, some of us may become confused when trying to figure out what it is that we are feeling exactly–Do I just like them a lot, or is this love?

According to science[1], your brain will be able to figure it out before you’re able to realize it.

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Arthur Aron, a psychologist at State University of New York at Stony Brook says, “Intense passionate love uses the same system in the brain that gets activated when a person is addicted to drugs.”

Here are 12 signs that will let you know if you really are, in love.

1. You want your family and friends to be accepting of them

When you start seeing someone you really like, you’re going to want to bring them around your parents and close friends. Your social circle typically plays an important role in the success of a relationship. Of course, the opinion of friends and family probably won’t decide whether or not you continuing seeing them, it’s nice to know that they like and accept the person you’re spending your time with.

2. You’re happy when they’re happy and sad when they’re sad

You start to almost feel exactly how they are feeling whether it’s up or down. the person you like gets a promotion and they’re overjoyed when they tell you about it. You’re able to share his/her success and experience feelings of pride and positive emotions. Seeing them so happy just makes you melt inside.

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3. You want to see them every SINGLE moment

It’s almost like one day away from them feels like a week. When they say goodbye to you after dinner, you’re already thinking about the next time you can see them which is hopefully soon after. The second they leave for home, you’re already texting them to continue the topic you haven’t finished over dinner.

4. You want to know everything about them

You become so intrigued you can’t help but have a laundry list of questions for them. You want to get to know them under the surface. They may be a little emotionally guarded and have difficulty talking about their feelings, so you find yourself wanting to know why they are that way. As you learn more about the person you like and make them feel safe, you open the doors wide open to connect and bond on a much deeper level.

5. You don’t feel so great when they get close with someone else

Seeing the person you like being friendly with someone of the opposite sex will have you feeling pretty uneasy. Over time you’ve become pretty close to them, and you don’t want to see them or someone else sending out flirtatious vibes. The little jealousy tells a lot. It means you don’t want to be just friends with the person.

6. What they do or say is special to you

Things that they say or do may seem insignificant to others, but they’re very significant to you. What they see as an imperfections, you see as unique qualities that you love about them.

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7. You’re willing to do anything for them

The list of things you aren’t willing to do for the person may not even exist. You never think twice about doing anything for them to put a smile on their face. They may be craving their favorite food for lunch so you use yours to surprise them at work.

8. You’re more careful about what you say and do

You learn to be a little bit more sensitive around the person you like. You’re much more careful about what you say and do. You begin to understand that every action has a reaction. You think twice before talking because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them angry.

9. Your behavior is a bit out of control when you’re with them

A friend may tell a joke and you may be mildly humored by it. But if the person you like tells the same joke, you can’t help but laugh a little harder. Your emotions are magnified. They make you feel good, and it sometimes comes out uncontrollably in your actions.

10. Your confidence level is boosted

They make you feel like you’re on top of the world and vice versa. You go into work feeling like you can accomplish every task thrown your way. They make you feel great about yourself. If your friends and co-workers have been saying you’re glowing lately, he/she is probably the reason why.

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11. You can see a future with them

You’ll start to envision what your life would be like with them in the future. Dare I mention the thoughts that go through your head when he/she picks up a baby.

12. You have more drive to become a better you

You have always felt pretty secure and happy with yourself and all that you’ve accomplished. But somewhere along the way this person unknowingly sparked something inside of you to push and strive for more. For months you’ve been putting off getting into the gym and eating healthier, but now doing that doesn’t seem like such a chore anymore. You aspire to be better everyday, and they’re the inspiration behind it.

You definitely know when you start liking someone. The tricky part is knowing when you’re in love with them. All in all, you know he/she is the one for you when they challenge you to be a better person every day, and you can’t imagine your life without them.

Reference

More by this author

Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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