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How Do You Know When You’re in Love? Check These 12 Signs

How Do You Know When You’re in Love? Check These 12 Signs

The feeling of falling and being in love is one of the greatest feelings one could ever feel and experience.

You feel motivated, driven, and secure having someone in your corner to support and comfort you.

However, some of us may become confused when trying to figure out what it is that we are feeling exactly–Do I just like them a lot, or is this love?

According to science[1], your brain will be able to figure it out before you’re able to realize it.

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Arthur Aron, a psychologist at State University of New York at Stony Brook says, “Intense passionate love uses the same system in the brain that gets activated when a person is addicted to drugs.”

Here are 12 signs that will let you know if you really are, in love.

1. You want your family and friends to be accepting of them

When you start seeing someone you really like, you’re going to want to bring them around your parents and close friends. Your social circle typically plays an important role in the success of a relationship. Of course, the opinion of friends and family probably won’t decide whether or not you continuing seeing them, it’s nice to know that they like and accept the person you’re spending your time with.

2. You’re happy when they’re happy and sad when they’re sad

You start to almost feel exactly how they are feeling whether it’s up or down. the person you like gets a promotion and they’re overjoyed when they tell you about it. You’re able to share his/her success and experience feelings of pride and positive emotions. Seeing them so happy just makes you melt inside.

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3. You want to see them every SINGLE moment

It’s almost like one day away from them feels like a week. When they say goodbye to you after dinner, you’re already thinking about the next time you can see them which is hopefully soon after. The second they leave for home, you’re already texting them to continue the topic you haven’t finished over dinner.

4. You want to know everything about them

You become so intrigued you can’t help but have a laundry list of questions for them. You want to get to know them under the surface. They may be a little emotionally guarded and have difficulty talking about their feelings, so you find yourself wanting to know why they are that way. As you learn more about the person you like and make them feel safe, you open the doors wide open to connect and bond on a much deeper level.

5. You don’t feel so great when they get close with someone else

Seeing the person you like being friendly with someone of the opposite sex will have you feeling pretty uneasy. Over time you’ve become pretty close to them, and you don’t want to see them or someone else sending out flirtatious vibes. The little jealousy tells a lot. It means you don’t want to be just friends with the person.

6. What they do or say is special to you

Things that they say or do may seem insignificant to others, but they’re very significant to you. What they see as an imperfections, you see as unique qualities that you love about them.

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7. You’re willing to do anything for them

The list of things you aren’t willing to do for the person may not even exist. You never think twice about doing anything for them to put a smile on their face. They may be craving their favorite food for lunch so you use yours to surprise them at work.

8. You’re more careful about what you say and do

You learn to be a little bit more sensitive around the person you like. You’re much more careful about what you say and do. You begin to understand that every action has a reaction. You think twice before talking because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them angry.

9. Your behavior is a bit out of control when you’re with them

A friend may tell a joke and you may be mildly humored by it. But if the person you like tells the same joke, you can’t help but laugh a little harder. Your emotions are magnified. They make you feel good, and it sometimes comes out uncontrollably in your actions.

10. Your confidence level is boosted

They make you feel like you’re on top of the world and vice versa. You go into work feeling like you can accomplish every task thrown your way. They make you feel great about yourself. If your friends and co-workers have been saying you’re glowing lately, he/she is probably the reason why.

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11. You can see a future with them

You’ll start to envision what your life would be like with them in the future. Dare I mention the thoughts that go through your head when he/she picks up a baby.

12. You have more drive to become a better you

You have always felt pretty secure and happy with yourself and all that you’ve accomplished. But somewhere along the way this person unknowingly sparked something inside of you to push and strive for more. For months you’ve been putting off getting into the gym and eating healthier, but now doing that doesn’t seem like such a chore anymore. You aspire to be better everyday, and they’re the inspiration behind it.

You definitely know when you start liking someone. The tricky part is knowing when you’re in love with them. All in all, you know he/she is the one for you when they challenge you to be a better person every day, and you can’t imagine your life without them.

Reference

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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