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How to Find Love That Really Lasts

How to Find Love That Really Lasts

Being single and struggling to find true love that lasts is still one of the biggest struggles so many people are facing today, no matter how successful they may be in other aspects of their lives. Although it may seem that you are lonely in your struggle, bear in mind that 44% of adult American population is single, 40 million of which are actively searching for love via online dating services.

The reasons for being single vary from person to person…

You may have been single for a while

It’s either because you didn’t have the time to dedicate to dating and truly getting to know someone, or you simply couldn’t find the partner that suits your needs. Either way, a certain amount of time has gone by, making it harder for you to get back in the game and start from scratch.

You may have gone through lots of heartbreaks in the past

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It is not uncommon that people who have been through some negative past experiences will feel uncertain and fearful once they are faced with similar situations.

No matter how hard it seems, or what our past experiences may be, for most people love is worth the search and the struggle. You are one of them since you are reading this article. You are the person with a clear goal in mind – you want the love that brings happiness, love that is true, honest and that lasts.

However, knowing what you want doesn’t always result in getting it. Anyone who has ever been single knows that finding the love you want can be quite challenging. The first question that comes to your mind is – How does one go about finding love actually? Then, you might ask if you were even supposed to be looking for love. Isn’t it one of those things that just happens or doesn’t, you might ask. Then, even if you meet someone, how do you really get to know a person? Or, you might have a problem identifying the right person for you. And, finally, how do you avoid making the same choices and mistakes?

How to find true love

At least from my experience, and from the experiences of people around me, love does not come when we look for it, nor when we pressure it into being. On the contrary, true love that lasts comes when you stop looking for it outside of yourself. Rather than looking for the love in the people we meet, and blaming them for not doing so, we need to shift the focus onto ourselves instead.

1. Work on yourself

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As the commonly known attraction principle states – we attract who we are. Therefore, if you are a person who is looking for others to provide them with the love they lack for themselves, chances are you are going to meet exactly those kind of people, who also look for someone to fulfill that gap for them. You know the rest of this story.

On the other hand, think of the people you know, I’m sure we all have at least one or two friends, or relatives, who simply find love whenever they want to. Great chances are that all of those people have one common denominator – they love themselves. To love yourself means to accept who you are, not care what anyone else thinks of you; to do what you love the most, and to be completely content with yourself.

Then, the message you are sending out tells of a person who is easily lovable and doesn’t feel needy of other people’s attention. And, that is exactly why love and attention are what they are most commonly getting.

2. Don’t rush

You can’t hurry love, indeed. If you are tired of waiting for the one, you can easily get into the trap of rushing into a relationship with the first person that seems nice enough without even taking the time to truly get to know the person. By rushing things we are more likely to sacrifice ourselves. This usually leaves a bitter taste in your mouth after you get some time to rationally think about everything.

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3. Reach out to meet new people

In order to break all negative or ineffective past programs, we have to step out into the world in a different way. Since chances of meeting the relationship material at a bar are 9% for women and 2% for men, why not trying some other activities where you can meet some interesting people, and maybe a future love interest.

If you have a dog, dog parks are a great place for both you and your furry friend to meet some like-minded people.

Another great way to meet new people is through everyone’s favorite topic – food. Depending on the type of food you like, you can find many great cooking classes, try pop-up dining, or any other type of food inspired gathering where you can meet and chat with people who share your taste.

With numerous dating websites and apps being developed recently, online dating has become mainstream in the last couple of years. Even though online dating has many pros and cons, you can benefit from it if you combine it with the real life experience wisely. Make sure to use the dating apps just as means for getting into contact with people and getting to know them a little before you meet them in the real world where you may consider dating.

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4. Don’t always trust the love at first sight

One of the common misconceptions about love that is meant to last is that there has to be an instant attraction between two people. In reality, physical attraction can be an important factor, yet it could also be completely misleading and short lived. This is why relationships between people who were friends first, are usually strong, healthy and lasting.

5. Don’t settle for an OK relationship

Ultimately, we can all feel what constitutes the right relationship for us, no matter how many disappointments it took to get us there. Therefore, we owe it to ourselves to not settle for anything less than that. Accepting an OK relationship out of fear of being alone robs us of our precious time we could spend focusing on ourselves and meeting the person who is just right for us.

This doesn’t mean that true and lasting love is perfect, there is no one with whom we are the absolute perfect match with, yet it takes less effort to work on a relationship once we meet someone we share the same goals with.

More by this author

Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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