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See What Over 2000 Reddit Users Says About “What’s The Saddest Thing You Ever Done To Fit In?”

See What Over 2000 Reddit Users Says About “What’s The Saddest Thing You Ever Done To Fit In?”

When was your last time to do something you don’t like just to fit in the environment? I remember I had a time when I first entered university and was afraid to be unable to make friends. What I did was to join several cultural nights where I drank cans of beer when I actually hate beer. It was terrible.

We have all been there. We all have tried to change ourselves just to fit in the crowd, out of social insecurity.

You are not alone.

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A question was raised in Reedit about “What’s the saddest, lamest thing you’ve ever done to ‘fit in’?” and it went viral in receiving over 2000 replies in a day.

The following replies are chosen among the ones with more comments.

“Paid them to like me. : Found out later, they thought what I was doing was sad. One girl told me that I didn’t need to spend money on buying them food and stuff because I was already their friend.” -Nixconvie

Some people use money as a temptation to buy what they want. In a relationship which requires love and care, materials do not always work. Do you really think buying a person gifts can exchange for a true friendship? All you will get is a ‘thank you’, and nothing much.

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Sending presents is a way to show care but doing it to make people like you is not persuasive. True friendships are based on the quality time you spent together, mutual trust, and being companions in difficult times. They are more spiritual and emotional, and the happiness cannot be bought. Instead of fulfilling their materialistic needs, spend more time on knowing each other and creating mutual memories.

“When I was around 12 years old I was bullied. At one point I thought my bullies would stop bullying me if I joined them. So one day they started bullying this other kid, this was one of the nicest kids in class. After a few minutes, I saw the tears in his eyes and realized that I’ve been in his position daily, and I stopped on the spot. I felt like a jerk, and get ashamed when I think about it.”-racoon1969

Bullying is common in schools and society where people take sides to join the majority against the few left ones. Like what mentioned above, some people try to avoid being bullied by joining the bullies when they know it is wrong. Hurting others makes you feel bad because you are apparently unwilling to. Especially when you were once the victim, you understand how it feels and you feel guilty when others are hurt in the same case.

Don’t be afraid to leave people who hold friendship with power. The relationship is never healthy when one follows what others do out of fear. If you think it’s not right, it’s fine to follow your heart. Trust me, you don’t want such a friend and you don’t want more victims.

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“Begged my mom to buy me etnies (the skateboarding shoes) when I was 10. She finally did but I broke down crying and begged her to take them back once I learned they were $40.” – fgsixtynine

Preferences on clothing style and taste vary frequently in lifetime. If the friendship is simply bonded by a symbol or a product, it is pretty much vulnerable. When things change from time to time, what is treasurable is the solidity in a relationship because it’s built upon people but not objects.

“I stopped hanging out with one of my best friends as much because all the other kids found him annoying.”– LieutenantCuppycake

How do you define “friends”? Do those you met in a social event and never spoke ever again count? When we grow older, we know it is not easy to find true friends. Sometimes we meet fancy people in gatherings but what is left afterwards is a “morning” or a “bye”. It is valuable when we receive an invitation message to dinner because we know somebody treats us as real friends.

Appreciate it if you have a friend like this, even if some others don’t like her. We don’t make friends to cater others. How you feel about the person and what’s in your friendship is all you should care. Remember, never give up on genuine people because they are rare to find in the world.

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“I started smoking in high school because all the “cool kids” smoked during lunch breaks… I was so desperate to fit in and prove that I’m cool as well.” -eukaRIOTa

Peer influence us a lot by making ourselves believe that we need to always follow the trend and be as ‘cool’ as the others. People who want to fit in the group sometimes follow their peer without taking note of the negative consequences. If your friend asks you to try drugs with him/her, will you follow or stop him/her?

A healthy relationship should be built on positive influence to one another. We hope to receive advice from friends at hard times and we motivate them as encouragement. Good friends are the ones who show support and make your life better.

In times we might think we need to fit in so as to be liked. Indeed, the right people will come and love you just the way you are. It’s alright if you don’t get along with some groups because nobody fits everybody. Keep going and be yourself and the right things will come to you.

Featured photo credit: Lovely Professional University via happenings.lpu.in

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Brandy Chan

Music Lover. Movie Lover. Traveller.

100 Inspirational Quotes That Will Make You Love Life Again Admit It, The Way We Learn To Fall In Love Is Wrong See What Over 2000 Reddit Users Says About “What’s The Saddest Thing You Ever Done To Fit In?” These Ideas Are Categorised As “What Seems Awesome Until You Tried it”, by Over 1000 Reddit Users Around The World

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Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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