Advertising
Advertising

This WAC Communication Model Can Help You Resolve Conflicts Instantly

This WAC Communication Model Can Help You Resolve Conflicts Instantly

Conflict doesn’t care if you are a vocal person or one who values harmony, it will come to you almost every single day — at home, at work, on the streets, even online. For people we know, it’s easier to communicate and resolve the conflict; but for strangers, we usually shut our mouths and let our anger pile up inside.

But what should we do when someone keeps bugging us? There are usually two routes we take: either avoid direct confrontation or confront violently. The longer we remain in the avoidance state, the more anger we pent up. At the same time, the latter doesn’t do anything apart from allowing us to vent. As far as I’m concerned, both solutions aren’t the healthiest for us.

Advertising

You may think: man, it’s hard to raise the conflict and confront someone.

We are worried of the possible consequences after a confrontation, especially facing strangers. Business Communications and Etiquette Coach Barbara Pachter has the solution to these sticky situations and confront others face-on.

In her book The Power of Positive Confrontation, she introduces the WAC model[1] — What, Ask, Check in — to teach people how to resolve conflict in a fast second. She points out the main mistake people makes in conflicts is retaliating instead of responding to the problem, which creates more tension between two parties. So here is how the WAC model works:

Advertising

1. What

The first step to resolve conflict is to identify the root of your agitation. Focus on one incident that bothers you and start from there. Avoid using words like “always” or “never”, and simply describe your concern without blaming or criticizing the action of the opposing person.

2. Ask

After you have clearly and logically raised the conflict, ask the person kindly of what you want them to do. Make sure you are clear with your request, if not, you are giving the other person to chime in and redirect the conversation to his/her favor.

Advertising

3. Check in

The last part of this model is to check in on the other person’s reaction, and the conversation usually ends with a question like “do you agree” or “is that okay for you”.

Stay calm, cool, and collected.

With the WAC model, there are some other pointers for you to perfectly execute a positive confrontation. It is so important to pick the right time and space. If someone is rushing to get to somewhere, or someone is in an emotional state already, it doesn’t hurt to wait for a while. You also have to make sure you are in the right headspace and mood when you confront others.

Advertising

So how do you actually confront positively?

Let’s take a simple workplace conflict to demonstrate — Your co-worker always takes stuffs and puts them everywhere, and it’s hard for you to find the things you need. With the WAC model, you can talk to him/her like this: “(What) It might not be a big deal for you, but when I need something at the office, I couldn’t find it. (Ask) I hope you could put things back in place after using them. (Check in) Is it okay?”

Does it really work though?

It seems to be so complex with so many steps and considerations. But with the WAC model, when you slightly change the tone and the words you use in conversations, it greatly affects the listener’s reception. Confronting without putting blame on the other person produces a much more positive outcome, which puts you and the other person at ease.

Of course, learning a new skill needs time. Start with simple situations to handle first, and build your confidence to take on more complicated conflicts. Over time, you have no fear facing tricky people and master the skill of positive confrontation.

Reference

More by this author

Frank Yung

Writer. Storyteller. Foodie.

Your Future Self Will Thank You For Starting To Do This For Only 10 Minutes Every Day 10 Best Standing Desks That Are High in Quality and Cheap in Price Finally, a Way to Avoid Jet Lag: The Jet Lag Calculator The Best Places Around the World to Retire in 2017 Take 5 Minutes To Read And Improve Your Writing Skills Forever

Trending in Communication

1 How to Be Patient and Take Charge of Your Life 2 What Is Self-Actualization? 13 Traits of Self-Actualized People 3 5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today 4 5 Warning Signs That You’re a People Pleaser 5 How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

Advertising

Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

Advertising

But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

Advertising

3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

Advertising

5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

Read Next