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Confident Public Speakers Always Focus On Their Hands Instead Of Their Audience

Confident Public Speakers Always Focus On Their Hands Instead Of Their Audience

Remember once in your public speech experience, your hands started sweating the moment you were in the backstage, it sweated even more when you stood on the stage. Your brain is blank because you worried that you might look weird, your audience might not like your content and not drawn by your speech. Yes, focusing too much on your audience will end up making you feel so anxious and fearful!

Confident people get nervous too, but they know how to trick their brains

In one experiment people were separated into 3 groups, with different degrees of restriction. It is found that the more the people are free to move, having their gesture naturally, the more FLUENT they get[1]. It’s not hard to imagine. As you get the right words easier, you’ll less likely to panic. And by using hand gestures it’s shifting our focus from the audience to our own.

So…where to start? Below are some common hand gestures that you can incorporate into your speech easily.

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1. Listing (1/2/3)

    Let’s start with the most easiest one! Use your hand to show the corresponding number when you say the signposts 1,2,3. It can also help your readers to follow your flow more easily too!

    2. Stop

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      image credit: Jack via Flickr

      When you want somebody to stop talking, you can stop them by making this post, it helps add authority to your speech. You can also do it to catch your audience’s attention too. It’s powerful!

      3. Using “ME”

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        To add more personal touch in your speech, you can point or place your hands towards your chest when you talk about something related to you.

        4. Indicating the size

          When you talk about something and describe their size/ degree, you can use your hand to show the corresponding level or sizes, like tiny, small, medium, large. For example, when you describe something that is big, bring your hands wide apart to show the huge space it takes.

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          Featured photo credit: Jack via flickr.com

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          More by this author

          Lilian Tang

          Traveller, food lover (especailly sushi!)

          The Skill That Most People Don’t Have: Active Listening Confident Public Speakers Always Focus On Their Hands Instead Of Their Audience

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          Last Updated on October 17, 2019

          How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

          How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

          You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

          But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

          Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

          What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

          Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

          So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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          1. Recognize the Signs

          If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

          Some telltale signs include:

          • You’re always on your phones.
          • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
          • You aren’t together during important events.
          • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
          • You don’t make plans or date nights.
          • You’re not happy.

          If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

          2. Try New Things Together

          Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

          Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

          Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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          Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

          3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

          Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

          Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

          Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

          4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

          One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

          Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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          5. Cook Meals Together

          Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

          One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

          Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

          If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

          6. Have a Regular Date Night

          Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

          The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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          Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

          • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
          • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
          • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
          • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
          • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
          • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
          • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

          Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

          Final Thoughts

          The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

          • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
          • Lowers divorce rates
          • Improves communication
          • Reduces marital boredom
          • Bonds couples closer
          • Improves friendship
          • Boosts health
          • Reduces stress

          These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

          It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

          These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

          Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

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