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How To Change People’s Minds: Show Them The Whole Picture Instead Of Proving Them Wrong

How To Change People’s Minds: Show Them The Whole Picture Instead Of Proving Them Wrong

Human has the ability to think and that’s what makes our world creative. But owing to such diversified thinking, sometimes it is inevitable for us to come across disagreement.

It can be great or small, such as colleagues debating corporate strategy, family members discussing holiday destination, or friends arguing what to eat for dinner. Sometimes you win an argument but sometimes you don’t.

Despite the fact that disagreement happens from time to time, it is important for us to learn the art of persuasion because if we are unable to persuade, we can only be the influenced but not the influencer. Sometimes we need to compromise but sometimes we need to be recognized. If our ideas are constantly rejected, then things never happen as we wish.

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Why we always fail to persuade?

It can be frustrating if our ideas are better but they are not adopted just because we lack the skills to persuade. But many of us make this mistake unknowingly–When we argue or discuss with others over an issue, we tend to take the shortcut to prove them wrong logically and at the same time we are right. This might work occasionally, for those who are rational and less emotional. But apparently not everyone is rational, at least not always.

Even if we have convincing arguments, proving others wrong is kind of explicitly telling others to change their minds. This often put them in an embarrassing situation because they have to admit that they are wrong.

The backfire effect: corrections always fail

It is compatible with the backfire effect suggested by Brendan Nyhan and Jason Reifler at The University of Michigan and Georgia State University. [1] One of their research was designed to explore why people insist on their political misperceptions when others try to correct them.

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It shows that corrections actually enhance misperceptions among the group in question. In other words, corrections have no use. People who are being corrected in fact reject the ideas from those who hold different beliefs.

Persuade by showing the whole picture

Knowing that changing people’s minds is such a difficult work, we might want to try something suggested by the authority. Blaise Pascal, a 17th-century French philosopher, wrote the famous classic Persuasion long before psychology was invented. His idea is later proven by modern psychologists, Arthur Markman.Pascal suggested that the surefire way to change others’ minds is to show them the whole picture instead of proving them wrong as the two simple steps listed below:

  1. Acknowledge the validity of the other’s point of view
  2. Lead them to discover the other side of their argument

There should be something valuable in everyone’s point of view. So first you should recognize their contributions and admit what they are right about. Then, you should gradually reveal the other side to them, which is the part they have not observed. The following scenario might help you better understand the idea:

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Imagine you are thinking what to eat for dinner with your friends.A: I’d like some burgers. I’m starving.(But you want something else.)You: Well…  Burger might be good. What about pizza? It can also make you feel full. Plus you might have more options in the Italian restaurant.

After all, everyone has some blind spots and many people realize that. They won’t be offended by such persuasion approach because they feel like they only fail to see all sides instead of mistaking. Also, people are generally better persuaded by reasons they discover by themselves than by those implemented by others.

Give suggestions instead of commands

Such approach also allows you to better hide your intention to persuade. That’s why you should also pay attention to your tone when speaking to them. You need to play the role of a guide instead of an instructor. You should be guiding them instead of enforcing authority, raising questions instead of making judgements. Others will feel better and consider what you want them to think about if you sound more friendly and suggestive.

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A successful persuasion cannot be achieved only by strong and valid points. To make people let their guard down, you also need some techniques. So don’t let others bury your brilliant ideas. Be brave to speak them up and be smart to showcase them.

Reference

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Sheba Leung

Translator. Sport lover. Traveler.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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