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How To Change People’s Minds: Show Them The Whole Picture Instead Of Proving Them Wrong

How To Change People’s Minds: Show Them The Whole Picture Instead Of Proving Them Wrong

Human has the ability to think and that’s what makes our world creative. But owing to such diversified thinking, sometimes it is inevitable for us to come across disagreement.

It can be great or small, such as colleagues debating corporate strategy, family members discussing holiday destination, or friends arguing what to eat for dinner. Sometimes you win an argument but sometimes you don’t.

Despite the fact that disagreement happens from time to time, it is important for us to learn the art of persuasion because if we are unable to persuade, we can only be the influenced but not the influencer. Sometimes we need to compromise but sometimes we need to be recognized. If our ideas are constantly rejected, then things never happen as we wish.

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Why we always fail to persuade?

It can be frustrating if our ideas are better but they are not adopted just because we lack the skills to persuade. But many of us make this mistake unknowingly–When we argue or discuss with others over an issue, we tend to take the shortcut to prove them wrong logically and at the same time we are right. This might work occasionally, for those who are rational and less emotional. But apparently not everyone is rational, at least not always.

Even if we have convincing arguments, proving others wrong is kind of explicitly telling others to change their minds. This often put them in an embarrassing situation because they have to admit that they are wrong.

The backfire effect: corrections always fail

It is compatible with the backfire effect suggested by Brendan Nyhan and Jason Reifler at The University of Michigan and Georgia State University. [1] One of their research was designed to explore why people insist on their political misperceptions when others try to correct them.

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It shows that corrections actually enhance misperceptions among the group in question. In other words, corrections have no use. People who are being corrected in fact reject the ideas from those who hold different beliefs.

Persuade by showing the whole picture

Knowing that changing people’s minds is such a difficult work, we might want to try something suggested by the authority. Blaise Pascal, a 17th-century French philosopher, wrote the famous classic Persuasion long before psychology was invented. His idea is later proven by modern psychologists, Arthur Markman.Pascal suggested that the surefire way to change others’ minds is to show them the whole picture instead of proving them wrong as the two simple steps listed below:

  1. Acknowledge the validity of the other’s point of view
  2. Lead them to discover the other side of their argument

There should be something valuable in everyone’s point of view. So first you should recognize their contributions and admit what they are right about. Then, you should gradually reveal the other side to them, which is the part they have not observed. The following scenario might help you better understand the idea:

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Imagine you are thinking what to eat for dinner with your friends.A: I’d like some burgers. I’m starving.(But you want something else.)You: Well…  Burger might be good. What about pizza? It can also make you feel full. Plus you might have more options in the Italian restaurant.

After all, everyone has some blind spots and many people realize that. They won’t be offended by such persuasion approach because they feel like they only fail to see all sides instead of mistaking. Also, people are generally better persuaded by reasons they discover by themselves than by those implemented by others.

Give suggestions instead of commands

Such approach also allows you to better hide your intention to persuade. That’s why you should also pay attention to your tone when speaking to them. You need to play the role of a guide instead of an instructor. You should be guiding them instead of enforcing authority, raising questions instead of making judgements. Others will feel better and consider what you want them to think about if you sound more friendly and suggestive.

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A successful persuasion cannot be achieved only by strong and valid points. To make people let their guard down, you also need some techniques. So don’t let others bury your brilliant ideas. Be brave to speak them up and be smart to showcase them.

Reference

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Sheba Leung

Translator. Sport lover. Traveler.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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